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Loshon Hora murders people. Very sad. We wonder why the world has so many problems. When will we ever learn?
Nice way to start a conversation on the topic that no one wants to speak about
The Kotzker explains that vayelech charana, going to Charan by Yaakov Avinu rather than lecharan is teaching us that a person should hold back talking as long as one can. Syag lechachma shtika, the fence of wisdom is silence. Silence protects wisdom from escaping. Silent has the same letters as listen, required to gain more wisdom.
no! i want to talk about it! actually, i just got corona, and I’m going stir-crazy so i want to talk about anything!!! but totally maskim. we should learn to zip.
ps. does anyone have idea would to do if everything you eat tastes burnt?
Silence abuses people
Actually, I’d love to speak about it! It’s a great topic! The greatest in history since sliced washing machines with suspenders and a baseball bat in them! (>;~D)
I doubt you have any idea how many more people have committed suicide as a result
of being the victim of such crimes than as a result of having been accused of them.Now the question is why isn’t it in the main page but was basically acceptable for the cr
“I doubt you have any idea how many more people have committed suicide as a result of being the victim of such crimes than as a result of having been accused of them.”
And that gives you the right to potentially falsely accuse in the public arena?
Leave it to Joseph, lover of all things violent, to jump in always to make sure a potential pedophile is protected. Never hear a word about wanting emes, never a word of concern for a murdered soul or that there is less than 5% chance of it being false report. Nope, just defend the man’s reputation because he is, after all,……wait for it
a man
Randomex – thank you for popping in to say that. Don’t know if anyone gets it but it is always worth a try.
I assumed this was a other silly post about a commen skape goat (the only problem we have is לשון הרע? Isnt there a whole 5th שולחן ערוך of בין אדם לחבירו, before we even approach בין אדם למקום?!).
But somehow the thread morphed into (another) critique of silience about a sexual a use (because other kinds of use don’t matter? Or arent salacious enough?).
Here’s an novel idea: speech is good. Sharing ideas a d perspectives is good. Talking to your neighbor, your coworker, the guy who sits next to you every day at מנחה, is tangibly, objectively, good. The more you talk, the more you learn, the better you can emphasize, a d understand, the better the world will be.ymribiat – well said. And I also thought it was about l”h, tho never thought about that whole scapegoat thing.
I’m curious. If a tape was published revealing what he said to a woman then how could he not have said what he said? In other words, please tell me how I can be him dan l’kaf chus in this case.
Please tell me on what basis people should be quiet in the face of proof of abuse? So that more innocent people can get hurt?
Syag, what in heaven’s name are you ranting about? This is a generic conversation not regarding any particular case. If this is discussing a specific situation, I have no idea which one. Nothing indicated it was.
The more you talk the more you speak lashon hara. See perush harambam on pirke avot. I have no close if this thread is about something specific. All I know is that talking about people usually means you have too much time on your hands.
@ Philosopher
To be clear, we aren’t talking about לשון הרע, we are talking out whether there is a obligation to be דן לכף זכות when there are allegations of some kind of a use?
Simple answer is that דן לכף זכות is normally applied to interpersonal relationships, not criminal conduct.“Ignoring it does not make it go away.”
I thought this was a reply to the OP.
Interestingly it was from the same person
Do you know what really murders people? Not speaking out against those who try to murder us
Joe,
I’m very surprised you don’t know what this thread is about!
Spending too much time on imamother to follow Israeli media?
Anyone who is strict about Lashon Hara should not be on the Internet
CA, after my last post I checked some other sites and found what this thread is about. Prior to this I hadn’t heard the news.
Wow
I heard about it this morning
I don’t see any valid reason why his name would be brought up unless it is something that is really bothering you and you need to discuss it with someone or for hinuch purposes (you know your children are aware of what happened etc). And if it’s just to teach others because it’s important to share the experience no names are necessary. Just bringing it up saying, “hey, did you hear about so and so..” just to talk about it isn’t very productive. Whether to publish it on a news site… I have an opinion but I’m not really sure honestly.
Even with the context of what this thread is discussing, Syag is dead wrong. She openly admits above that the case against him isn’t certain (she says “there is less than 5% chance of it being false report”; the likelihood is much greater than she’s willing to admit, but her admission is sufficient.) Yet she’s willing to publicly condemn him as guilty by calling him a potential pedophile in an open forum and even goes so far to condemn anyone else who dares to defend the reputation of a man she admits may be innocent.
I said NOTHING about the current case. I don’t agree that it should even be a topic here. I was responding to your oft repeated mantra on the general topic. If you think I got it wrong, go do your own research.
i think that when the news is out there, no need to discuss it further on the internet. If you are feeling trauma, talk to someone! actually, when such a thing is revealed, I think everyone need to work though it with themselves, through therapist etc. don’t underestimate your feeling and emotions. validate them.
Well, you may think that this is an inappropriate topic, then, where should I look for suggestions what to tell the kids, who are already aware, and who grew up with these books.
How bout asking all those school/educational professionals and rabbis that you have brought so many other questions to. Honestly, that particular question is appropriate (I’m talking my opinion). It’s the ‘having a discussion about the CW story’ topic that I think is wrong.
yeah, maskim. I’m talking now from a-not-yet-adult perspective, and you should know that the way you present the situation is the way your kids will perceive it. meaning, you shouldn’t be all black and white. explain nisyonos. be gentle. and no, detail are NOT necessary.
you sound so grown up for such a youngster
thanx😊 I’ve got awesome parents
theshadchansays, what’s not black and white? Hurting others is not black and white?
No one answered me about the released adio. I think we should care about the victims here and it’s certainly black and white.
ask a rov about the audio. Nobody needs a bunch of uninformed anonymous opinions. On the other hand you are right. We should care about the victims and I think that can be done without discussing the details of their cases. Be supportive. Be empathetic. It may save a life.
philosopher: no life is not black and white, especially for your kids. They don’t understand what it means to hurt people in such away. They see someone who contributed a great deal to their childhood (and mine, back in the day😉) and added a new dimension to their imagination. i don’t mean to minimize people who were ever hurt like this, but i certainly can’t judge, and neither can you. Hashem is the Only judge, and we should leave this task to HIM.
Try google
ummmm…. google doesn’t know right and wrong. i don’t understand the point your making.
Random; is there a difference between one lost Jewish life and 20? It’s true that many… Many victims of abuse commit suicide. That doesn’t give the right to people to cause others to do the same, and it won’t bring the deceased victims back to life. It might make them feel good that there’s justice, but how satisfying is it in the long run? The damage has been done, and it takes immense personal struggle, effort and siyata dishmaya to overcome it.
שב ועל תעשה עדיף is how I feel when faced with such an issue; I am not qualified to pasken dinei nefashos – I’ll leave it up to those who are to decide.
“That doesn’t give the right to people to cause others to do the same,”
that is a very odd thing to say.
She did not say that. She thought the mod comment was yours
Okay, then, let me say my point:
If you have inside information about this case take it up with the bais din
there is no one to accuse anymore. stop shaming someone that’s not here
Because of the silence and empathy for abusers in our communities they continue to get away with their deeds.
Didn’t we learn anything from the story of Gedaliah Ben Achikim ?
This issue is certainly black and white. Anyone who abuses others has absolutely no excuse. You may say there’s not enough evidence that you’ve seen to arrive at a conclusion regarding if he was guilty or innocent but to say that “we can’t understand him and his nisyonas” is absolutely disgusting and whitewashing his terrible deeds if he committed them.
If a therapist has strong nisyonas, the last thing he should be is a therapist.
And I don’t understand sending girls to male therapists. And where is the tznius as well of women going to male therapists?
Dear Theshadchansays,
You have to experiment. Try applesauce. Pickles. Mustard. Horseradish. Citrus. Etc.
Crush your teeth often. And avoid alcohol and alcohol based mouthwash.
Refuah shelaima!
Dear Philosopher,
You ask about judging favorably. For us random posters, there is no reason to judge at all. Just gently absorb the purported information.
Dear Philosopher,
Not every case of abuse is black and white.
I do not see the difference between male therapists or doctors, players, rabbis, etc.
Dear n0mesorah: thanx for the suggestion! it was quite good! actually, being that i have covid, it doesn’t taste like anything, but the texture is kinda like ice-cream…. YUUUUUMMMM!!!
how ’bout you try without taste buds. now THAT should be yummy😋
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