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Whats your take on why people ( I mainly stress women here) are embarrassed to eat in public (and NOT FOR “TZNIUS” reasons)?
Ex: A party, vort, Shmorg, wedding etc…??
A person (man and woman) SHOULD be embarrassed to eat in public.
I would say, its the fear of having broccoli stuck beween your teeth, when the shadchan walks past you, scouting for new talent. Plus, its hard to hide stains with your necktie, when you’re not wearing one.
(Men have no such worries. All we need to do is have a pulse to be a contender)
I absolutely hate to eat in public for fear that something will stay stuck in my teeth and will show. Doesn’t give a very good impression.
I personally cannot understand how a girl agrees to eat in a restaurant on a date. I cannot eat with anyone whom I’m not totally comfortable with. I would be under too much pressure!
I just experienced this today in public. I and another woman were sitting in the Doctor’s office (pregnant) and I opened up my snack. After all its ok, I reasoned, its normal to eat snacks when you’re pregnant, and I am hungry afterall….
Then I sensed everyone was looking at me. I tried not to be embarrassed and tried to eat as aidel as I could. I tried to act like a lady.
Then I was relieved another hungry lady opened up her snack and started, seeing as I was making the way open for snacking in public, I guess.
However, one lady sitting with her husband, when she snacked on her fruit salad also later in the waiting room, was eating self consciously even in front of her husband. It was like an immature act she was putting on. Even though she was only 110 lbs. THen she accidently dropped a half grape on her shirt and became embarrassed and turned to him for support and re-assurement if she has dirtied herself up.
I feel, being a woman, that the answer to all this social phenomenon is that we definately enjoy eating but are ashamed of it, becasue indulging and gluttony are inter related and we women definately don’t want to portray that image to the world. Even if we do eat like animals sometimes in the kitchen at home.
We do care more what people think of us, than men care.
Because you feel like you were “caught” eating. Everyone diets today, whether necessary or not. Eating is bad. Think to yourself, what is the feeling of being seen eating? What is it that you shy of? Do you feel it doesn’t look neat, or that it’s cheap to eat from someone else, or just the fact that you are eating?
Whats your take on why people ( I mainly stress women here) are embarrassed to eat in public (and NOT FOR “TZNIUS” reasons)?
Ex: A party, vort, Shmorg, wedding etc…??
They should seek therapy.
popa_bar : You are not clear on your above message – who needs therapy? THe people who are willing to eat in public or the ones who are too shy?
come out of town – everyone eats!! No one is embarrassed. IT is the one place where you actually need good food at a kiddush because it will get eaten!!
There are many who wont eat in front of anyone . it is definitely an eating disorder! ^ agree with poppa on this one!!
just chew with your mouth closed please
Anyone who is a bit or more overwieght will not eat in public for fear of people watching and saying “look what s/he is eating. No wonder they look like that.”
Maseches Pesachim Perek zayim mishna yud gimmel teaches that although a group of people eating the korban pesach together should face each other, if there is a kallah present, she may turn her face away from the group while eating. R’ Ovadia M’Bartenura explains that she would be embarrassed to eat in front of the group.
Apparently, this is not a phenomenon created by modern day society.
Wear a Bib. You’ll be ok.
student : that is the whole thing! I am overweight but I was eating a home baked health raisin bran muffin low in sugar! It doesnt matter what you are eating. People assume fat ladies should not be eating at all!
Whats your take on why people ( I mainly stress women here) are embarrassed to eat in public (and NOT FOR “TZNIUS” reasons)?
Like PacMan said, you ARE supposed to be embarrassed to eat in public.
I don’t see how it doesn’t go hand-in-hand with “tznius” reasons. I don’t see how if you are embarassed because something may get stuck in your teeth, or if you are embarassed about people thinking that it may be slobbish & unrefined, then how is it not being a form of modesty? To me, those are all aspects of modesty. Am I wrong?
but I was eating a home baked health raisin bran muffin low in sugar!
and I’ll bet that took all the fun out of it. 😉
“Even if we do eat like animals sometimes in the kitchen at home”
C’mon… Really?
As in gnawing from a drumstick like a rotweiller?
Or trying to catch the salmon in your jaws, as its tried to leap from the sink to the counertop?
Gee, tough crowd.
“but I was eating a home baked health raisin bran muffin low in sugar!”
What??? In your condition? You should be eating things that are good for you. Like a danish (chocolate will calm your nerves and is good for your heart) followed by a milkshake ( can’t skimp on calcium and potassium).
After delivery, you can go power walking with your kids in tow and put the bugaboo (or whatever you push) to the test.
Gosh, no wonder some expectant mothers are so tired!
kapusta the fun part is the BMQ8HR
I used to be very uncomfortable eating in public. And I was severely underweight so it had nothing to do with an overweight problem. I’ve long since gotten over it though.
How did you get over it?
I have no idea. It just happened by itself. My guess is that I just matured. I don’t recall any particular factor causing me to get over it.
Must be a rare alignment of the stars when I agree with PacMan. A place where you are ‘bosh mile’echol bo” is not kovea for ma’asser. Public eating ( in what parameters i don’t know) is also, for the guys, a pusul edus. We are for the most, desensitized and out of touch with the culture of chazal, but it is clear that they held public eating as very “un-classy”.
It might be because I eat interesting food (apples and cream cheese)
No woman wants people seeing what she piled on her plate, especially if she could stand to lose some weight. Also some foods are just impossible to eat and not make the eater look like a slob (i.e. falafel or spare ribs).
I think feeling emb or ashamed to eat in public is so eating disordered thinking. I had an eating disorder a buncha years ago and they say once you have one you can never really get rid of it. Well, I see it is very true when it comes time for me to eat in public. It is still hard for me to, I do do it at times but I still get emb doing it.
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