Home › Forums › Yeshiva / School / College / Education Issues › Should I Allow My Kids To Miss Yeshiva?
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May 15, 2011 6:22 pm at 6:22 pm #596897BSDMember
My kids are chollishing to go to the Great Parade on Lag Ba’omer, but it’s during yeshiva time. They take their work seriously, and I would really like to give them this break, but I am afraid that it may give them the wrong message. What should I do?
May 15, 2011 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #770785bezalelParticipantI am afraid that it may give them the wrong message.
You’re probably right.
May 15, 2011 6:41 pm at 6:41 pm #770786Ayala11ParticipantWhy don’t you make sure they understand that this is a one-time experience and you wouldn’t usually sacrifice their learning for it?
May 15, 2011 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #770787HaLeiViParticipantSpeak it over with their principal.
May 15, 2011 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #770788DanielMemberAs ayalla said , explain that this is a one time thing.I have been to the great parade last year and for younger kids it really is meaningfull. their are beutifull floats that the local yeshivas make , depicting different mitsvot and entertainment.All kosher. My kids loved it and cant wait.Hopefully the weather will cooperate. Last year it was scorching hot
May 15, 2011 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #770789Josh31ParticipantFamily simchos are another story.
There kids that grow up having been told that school is too important to miss when a family simcha occurs will ignore family in favor of their profession.
May 15, 2011 6:57 pm at 6:57 pm #770790aries2756ParticipantWhich “wrong” message exactly will this give them?
May 15, 2011 7:20 pm at 7:20 pm #770791commonsenseParticipantwhat time does it start, i was having the same questions
May 15, 2011 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #770792yogiboobooMemberF they are kids who are always in school and rarely take mental health days, then yeah why not?! But if they miss school often then I’d say no. Let them go and enjoy themselves for a day. They can make up the work I’m sure but go on, let them enjoy. Its not like they are missing school to go to a sporting event, its to go to a lag baomer parade! Have fun and enjoy the day!
May 15, 2011 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #770793boredinofficeParticipantLet them go. They will feel good about themselves. more important then the few hours of learning, they will feel that their parents love them and care and want them to be happy.
If this would happen weekly it it is a whole different ballgamme
May 15, 2011 7:47 pm at 7:47 pm #770794BSDMemberaries-By going, would I be making an official “let’s take off of learning/yeshivah so we can do something fun.” day? Where are my priorities?
They know school is important to me, but will this appear contradictory or even hypocritical?
common- I think 10 am and it’s for about 2 hours.
May 15, 2011 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #770795Pac-ManMemberIf its boys, they shouldn’t miss Torah studies; if its girls, you have more flexibility.
May 15, 2011 8:02 pm at 8:02 pm #770796apushatayidParticipantMake up the 2 hours learning they would miss and take them to the parade.
May 15, 2011 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #770797phillybubbyParticipantConvince the principal to take the whole school on a Lag B’Omer outing to the GREAT PARADE!
May 15, 2011 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #770798aries2756ParticipantBSD, from what I can remember of school, they also celebrate Lag B’omer and it is usually a trip day, so I doubt there will be much learning. There will be much anticipation for the trip but very little “zitz fleish” for learning or anything else. So I think it is fine to trade the school trip for the Big Parade.
May 15, 2011 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #770799cshapiroMemberbitul torah, issur deoriasa!!
May 15, 2011 10:55 pm at 10:55 pm #770800RABBAIMParticipantGo after school
May 16, 2011 4:41 am at 4:41 am #770801commonsenseParticipantunfortunately it is over by the time they are finished school.
May 16, 2011 5:08 am at 5:08 am #770802☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWhich “wrong” message exactly will this give them?
That fun and games is more important than learning. For that matter, that fun and games is more important than responsibility. A student should be taught that attendance is mandatory and that (s)he should only take off for something urgent. The Great Parade is not urgent.
Of course, if this particular child has a specific need, that might be different. I’m generalizing, for a normal, well adjusted child.
May 16, 2011 11:46 am at 11:46 am #770803PosterMembertough one!
May 16, 2011 12:36 pm at 12:36 pm #770804zahavasdadParticipantThe lesson is FAMILY time is important. It is NOT wrong to teach kids how important it is to spend time together.
May 16, 2011 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #770805☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantThe lesson is FAMILY time is important. It is NOT wrong to teach kids how important it is to spend time together.
Then why the Great Parade during yeshiva hours? Let them go to a park after yeshiva is over and spend time with each other, instead of taking off learning time to spend “quality time” with Uncle Moishy and MBD.
May 16, 2011 1:42 pm at 1:42 pm #770806me tooMemberWondering How will the teachers and Menehalim react? How about asking in advance? Are you telling your kids your principal and teachers are not all that smart? Is conforming with school policy & regs really so unimportant?
DY well said!! The Great parade is not “Family time”.
It is NOT wrong to teach kids how important it is to spend time together.
with several hundred other kids being entertained/ enlightened by whoever is on the podium.May 16, 2011 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #770807bptParticipantIf you think they need a day off, give it to them. No one should question a parent’s call in a case like this
But, IMHO, you should take them to the one in BP.. (the Twins will be there!)
May 16, 2011 3:10 pm at 3:10 pm #770808mewhoParticipantyou should allow your children to go. have them do some sort of schoolwork lesson to cover teh time that they miss from class.
make sure tehy know that leaving class early does not mean they can ”get away” without the lesson or learning. they are jsut shifting the time.
May 16, 2011 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #770809WolfishMusingsParticipantbitul torah, issur deoriasa!!
And yet, here you are, posting on this forum.
The Wolf
May 16, 2011 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #770810shlishiMemberAnd yet, here you are, posting on this forum.
A. She’s a girl, so there is no bitul Torah for her.
B. Even if it were, two wrongs don’t make a right.
May 16, 2011 4:11 pm at 4:11 pm #770811☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantC. She’s being facetious.
May 16, 2011 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #770812WolfishMusingsParticipantA. She’s a girl, so there is no bitul Torah for her.
She is? I did not know that. My apologies.
The Wolf
(Note: I still disagree with the idea that any time away from learning is completely and utterly forbidden.)
May 16, 2011 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #770813☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIf you think they need a day off, give it to them. No one should question a parent’s call in a case like this
If they “need a day off”, give it to them now, why wait until next week?
May 16, 2011 4:44 pm at 4:44 pm #770814BSDMemberThanks for all the advice. Against overwhelming odds to the contrary, I am leaning towards Daas’s view. They are boys and it involves bittul torah. I can’t imagine that the school would allow them to take off. At best, they would turn a blind eye. And I certainly would not allow my kids to lie about where they were. I can make it a point to spend quality time together-a fun outing, batting practice or something-after school, and bring them to a bonfire on motzei shabbos. I think the main thing that they will remember is that I gave them quality time and undivided attention, which I plan on doing.
May 16, 2011 4:56 pm at 4:56 pm #770815popa_bar_abbaParticipantWho is this Miss Yeshiva?
What does she do?
May 16, 2011 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #770816Pac-ManMemberBSD:
You made the right decision and for the right reasons.
Hatzlocha!
May 16, 2011 5:25 pm at 5:25 pm #770817gavra_at_workParticipantThere was a “Chinuch Roundtable” in the Yated regarding this a while back; the panel was mixed.
May 16, 2011 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #770818BSDMember“There was a “Chinuch Roundtable” in the Yated regarding this a while back; the panel was mixed.”
Which week? I would really be interested in seeing it.
“Who is this Miss Yeshiva?
What does she do?”
LOL! She’s on the mixed panel.
May 16, 2011 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #770819ShrekParticipantBSD:
why don’t you present the dilemma to your kids and see if they are willing to “make up” the lost learning time. Just a thought.
May 16, 2011 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #770820zahavasdadParticipantHow much time do the boys spend learning per week?
How much time does the Family spend together (Not on Shabbos ) per week?
May 16, 2011 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #770821oomisParticipantLag B’Omer was always a traditional day of fun for the kids in Yeshivah. We always went on school trips, had picnics, games etc. Part of our Jewish heritage is the recogntion of the simcha of this day and celebration of that simcha. Ivdu es Hashem b’simcha.
May 16, 2011 6:36 pm at 6:36 pm #770822adorableParticipantBSD- I think you are doing the right thing and I am sure that if you explain it to your children in the right way and you show them that it was a big decision for you and you thought about it and did nto just push away the fact that they wanted to go i think that will be easier for them
May 16, 2011 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #770823BSDMemberI spend a decent amount of time with them. Probably not enough, but they get my full attention when I am with them. We do a lot of family visiting which they love. We’re also big into outings but not much exciting trips, which the parade would be considered. I kinda would love to do it for them, but I wonder if ultimately it would be counterproductive. I will try to compensate by taking an outing.
Shrek- If I go I would probably do that but it still doesn’t cover all the issues.
May 16, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #770824BSDMemberAdorable-thanx I think you may be right.
May 16, 2011 7:12 pm at 7:12 pm #770825TheGoqParticipantI have a question on this, is Lag Bomer a real holiday or not?
If we acknowledge its a Yom Tov then exceptions should be made, you should take them to the parade letting them know it’s a one time deal and all schoolwork missed must be made up.
May 16, 2011 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #770826BSDMemberGoq- If I’d do it, it would be under the terms you described, but it’s really up to the school to decide if it is or is not a real holiday. I have to follow their rules, and my kids need to know that.
May 16, 2011 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #770827zahavasdadParticipantFamily time is NEVER counter-productive.
A parent can never spend too-much time with the kids.
OP – You said you would TRY to compensate. Something will come up, it always does. Spend family time NOW. you do not get it back
May 16, 2011 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #770828WolfishMusingsParticipantFamily time is NEVER counter-productive.
A parent can never spend too-much time with the kids.
I don’t know about that. I’ve been told by people that every minute I spend with my kids and exposing them to my values is corrupting their neshamos irreparably. I’ve also been told (on these very boards) that by playing games with my kids (as opposed to learning with them every available minute) I am wasting their time.
The Wolf
May 16, 2011 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #770829BSDMember“Family time is NEVER counter-productive.” I’m sure Zahava agrees with that, but IDK…
“Something will come up” Good point-It’s 5:00 I’ll close up shop, get off the cr and head home.
Wolf- maybe your kids will have a good influence on you:)
May 16, 2011 10:00 pm at 10:00 pm #770830WolfishMusingsParticipantmaybe your kids will have a good influence on you:)
Nah. I’m completely and utterly incorrigible.
The Wolf
May 16, 2011 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #770831canineMemberTaking a day off (or even part thereof) of Yeshiva, for an extracurricular activity, is the purest form of Bitul Torah. You are actually scheduled — no less your regular schedule — to learn Torah, and throw the opportunity away??
May 16, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #770832YW Moderator-80Memberdiscuss it with their Rebbe
May 17, 2011 4:55 am at 4:55 am #770833☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantdiscuss it with their Rebbe
It certainly couldn’t hurt. HaleiVi earlier suggested to speak it over with the principal. That would also be a good idea.
To quote BSD, though, “I can’t imagine that the school would allow them to take off. “
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