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February 17, 2013 12:53 am at 12:53 am #608236popa_bar_abbaParticipant
So my brother had a girl. And we wanted it to be a boy because then there is a sholom zachor which is fun. But it was a girl.
So we realized something very important– we could still all come for shabbos and we could still have a sholom zachor. We could just clean up after the meal, and then drink beer and eat lethal beans and sing ureh banim.
So we did. But we sang ???? ???? ???????, and we sang ???? ???? ?????? ?? ?? ????? ??? ?? ????? ?????? ?????, and we thought about singing ????? ???? ???? ????? ????…??????? ?? ????? ???? ???????????.
And we realized that it was much more fun than a real sholom zachor, because it was just the family. And that is the part of thee sholom zachor that is fun anyway–not when your brother’s rotten friends come and get drunk and swill all the scotch and yell at their kid for eating too much candy and throw up in your beanies and leave with each other’s coats–it’s the most fun when everybody else leaves and it’s just the family left. (I’ll teach you how; you set the lights on a timer to go off for 10 minutes at 11:00.)
So how come other people also don’t do this?
So we realized they do; they just don’t tell us because then we would come (and swill the scotch and yell at our kids etc).
February 17, 2013 2:05 am at 2:05 am #1118616Torah613TorahParticipantHe had a female boy?
Oh you meant Shalom Nekeiva.
February 17, 2013 2:44 am at 2:44 am #1118617popa_bar_abbaParticipantWhy, would that make more sense?
February 17, 2013 2:52 am at 2:52 am #1118618Torah613TorahParticipantA zechora is a female zachor. It makes as much sense as saying Chava was an “adama”.
February 17, 2013 2:52 am at 2:52 am #1118619☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantBrilliant!
February 17, 2013 2:55 am at 2:55 am #1118620popa_bar_abbaParticipantA zechora is a female zachor. It makes as much sense as saying Chava was an “adama”.
Yes, but sholom nekeiva makes about as much sense as saying your son had a bas mitzva.
February 17, 2013 3:03 am at 3:03 am #1118621Torah613TorahParticipantPopa: OK I hear that. And nice song, and good point, and may you enjoy many such simchos in the future.
February 17, 2013 3:15 am at 3:15 am #1118622yaakov doeParticipantpopa_bar_abba Any reason your brother doesn’t invite you to come over every Friday night to drink beer and eat beans?
Having a big seuda for the pidyon habas?
February 17, 2013 3:48 am at 3:48 am #1118623farrockgrandmaParticipantA girl is welcomed with a kiddush. Time and place flexible. Mazel tov!
February 17, 2013 3:49 am at 3:49 am #1118624popa_bar_abbaParticipantpopa_bar_abba Any reason your brother doesn’t invite you to come over every Friday night to drink beer and eat beans?
We live in different cities.
February 17, 2013 4:33 am at 4:33 am #1118625☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIf the first sentence in the OP is not subject to Popa’s Law, mazel tov!
February 17, 2013 4:45 am at 4:45 am #1118626shmoolik 1Participantfor a girl there is “zeved ha bas”
celebrated by the Sefardim
February 17, 2013 4:49 am at 4:49 am #1118627popa_bar_abbaParticipantfor a girl there is “zeved ha bas”
celebrated by the Sefardim
And if I was sfardi, then I would care.
February 17, 2013 4:57 am at 4:57 am #1118628oomisParticipantMazel tov on the Simchat Bat (that’s what some people I know call it). Definitely not sholom zechora.
February 17, 2013 4:59 am at 4:59 am #1118629☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantIf you were sefardi, you’d have to remember to set the Shabbos clock.
February 17, 2013 5:04 am at 5:04 am #1118630popa_bar_abbaParticipantMazel tov on the Simchat Bat (that’s what some people I know call it). Definitely not sholom zechora.
People you know drink beer and eat chickpeas on friday night after they have a girl? And don’t invite me?
And sing ureh banos?
February 17, 2013 10:54 am at 10:54 am #1118631YW Moderator-42ModeratorMazel tov! May she grow up to be as strange and brilliant as her uncle.
February 17, 2013 1:01 pm at 1:01 pm #1118632ToiParticipant“lethal beans”
i honestly think that is the best auto-word-correcter thingy ever, and hereby nominate those words as the best post ever. theen i chapped it may have been on purpose, and then its even funnier. props.
February 17, 2013 1:50 pm at 1:50 pm #1118633oomisParticipantPeople you know drink beer and eat chickpeas on friday night after they have a girl? And don’t invite me?
And sing ureh banos?
Yes, yes, and no.
It’s not widely-done here, but I do know some families who feel that believe it or not, the birth of a healthy baby daughter is just as exciting and meaningful as the birth of a son and made the female version of a Sholom Zochor on the Friday night after their birth. I myself could not WAIT to have daughters after my ben habechor was born, but being super traditional, I did not make a simchat bat for any of them (made kiddushim, though).
February 17, 2013 2:08 pm at 2:08 pm #1118634moi aussiMemberZechura/Zachur is from the verb Lizkor-To Remember, not related to the word Zachar-Male.
February 17, 2013 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #1118636popa_bar_abbaParticipantOomis: I did not know that, and I think it is a chillul Hashem, but I’m pretty sure we’ve done that conversation before. I still think what we did is ok, because it was just our family having fun and we didn’t invite the community.
I don’t have any problem with wanting to make any sort of party for the birth of a girl. But I do have a problem with davka doing the type of party which is made for a boy. Meaning, if you are happy and want a party–make a party. But if you are doing it to make social statements–that I am not in favor of.
February 17, 2013 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #1118637twistedParticipantPBA, why the condescending comment on minhag Sfarad, you could have remained silent.
February 17, 2013 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #1118638HealthParticipantPBA -I heard people don’t make parties for girls because when you meet people in the st. and ask where are they going Fri. nite -they say to a Zochor. You can’t tell people that you’re going to a “________”!
February 17, 2013 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #1118639popa_bar_abbaParticipanttwisted: You misunderstand my disdain. My disdain is not for their minhag, but for the idea that other people should adopt minhagim that are not their own.
November 5, 2014 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #1118640midwesternerParticipantSince this was linked . . . Health: cute chap. But I am not aware of any reason to say going to a zochor when in the street. I know that in the mikvah on Friday afternoon, people will talk about a zuchor, because Shalom is a name of Hashem that some consider to be inappropriate to say in the mikvah. ON the street, no reason not to say the full word.
December 27, 2015 3:28 am at 3:28 am #1118641☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantLethal beans.
December 27, 2015 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #1118642good.jewMemberwow, thanks for bumping. Happens to be, my sister had a baby girl and we followed Popa’s sage advice. In fact it almost felt like Popa was in the room
December 28, 2015 6:31 pm at 6:31 pm #1118644Veltz MeshugenerMemberI wonder if the reason we make a shalom zachor for boys and a kiddush for girls is because women cannot be chayav in a mitzvas asei shehazman grama.
December 28, 2015 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #1118645JosephParticipantApril 8, 2017 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #1252837ChortkovParticipantBump. Here you go, Zaltvasser.
April 8, 2017 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #1252890zaltzvasserParticipantThanks, @yekke2 !
Turns out, the “sholom zechorah” is actually a real thing!The Shalom Zachar – And the Shabbos Kiddush for Girls: Halachic Analysis
April 9, 2017 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1253319Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantzaltzvasser – very interesting! Thank you!
April 9, 2017 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #1253334avrahParticipantI once heard from a famous rebbetzin that she is מכוין by שעשני כרצונו that she doesn’t have to go to shalom zachars, so if that is part of being a women, then we can’t make one for a girl.
April 9, 2017 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #1253343Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantAvrah – they are two separate issues (at least in theory) – who goes to the shalom zachor and who they are made for.
On the one hand, it is possible for shalom zachors to be for boys but both men and women attend. On the other hand, it is possible for shalom zachors to be for both boys and girls but only men attend.
By the way, most women I know do attend Shalom zachors, although there are usally less women in attendance than men.
Also, that’s a very unusual thing to have in mind for שעשני כרצונו, so I don’t think it can be used as proof of anything. I hope she has other things in mind, and that was just a joke. -
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