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So my brother had a girl. And we wanted it to be a boy because then there is a sholom zachor which is fun. But it was a girl.
So we realized something very important– we could still all come for shabbos and we could still have a sholom zachor. We could just clean up after the meal, and then drink beer and eat lethal beans and sing ureh banim.
So we did. But we sang ???? ???? ???????, and we sang ???? ???? ?????? ?? ?? ????? ??? ?? ????? ?????? ?????, and we thought about singing ????? ???? ???? ????? ????…??????? ?? ????? ???? ???????????.
And we realized that it was much more fun than a real sholom zachor, because it was just the family. And that is the part of thee sholom zachor that is fun anyway–not when your brother’s rotten friends come and get drunk and swill all the scotch and yell at their kid for eating too much candy and throw up in your beanies and leave with each other’s coats–it’s the most fun when everybody else leaves and it’s just the family left. (I’ll teach you how; you set the lights on a timer to go off for 10 minutes at 11:00.)
So how come other people also don’t do this?
So we realized they do; they just don’t tell us because then we would come (and swill the scotch and yell at our kids etc).
He had a female boy?
Oh you meant Shalom Nekeiva.
A zechora is a female zachor. It makes as much sense as saying Chava was an “adama”.
Brilliant!
Popa: OK I hear that. And nice song, and good point, and may you enjoy many such simchos in the future.
popa_bar_abba Any reason your brother doesn’t invite you to come over every Friday night to drink beer and eat beans?
Having a big seuda for the pidyon habas?
A girl is welcomed with a kiddush. Time and place flexible. Mazel tov!
If the first sentence in the OP is not subject to Popa’s Law, mazel tov!
for a girl there is “zeved ha bas”
celebrated by the Sefardim
Mazel tov on the Simchat Bat (that’s what some people I know call it). Definitely not sholom zechora.
If you were sefardi, you’d have to remember to set the Shabbos clock.
Mazel tov! May she grow up to be as strange and brilliant as her uncle.
“lethal beans”
i honestly think that is the best auto-word-correcter thingy ever, and hereby nominate those words as the best post ever. theen i chapped it may have been on purpose, and then its even funnier. props.
People you know drink beer and eat chickpeas on friday night after they have a girl? And don’t invite me?
And sing ureh banos?
Yes, yes, and no.
It’s not widely-done here, but I do know some families who feel that believe it or not, the birth of a healthy baby daughter is just as exciting and meaningful as the birth of a son and made the female version of a Sholom Zochor on the Friday night after their birth. I myself could not WAIT to have daughters after my ben habechor was born, but being super traditional, I did not make a simchat bat for any of them (made kiddushim, though).
Zechura/Zachur is from the verb Lizkor-To Remember, not related to the word Zachar-Male.
PBA, why the condescending comment on minhag Sfarad, you could have remained silent.
PBA -I heard people don’t make parties for girls because when you meet people in the st. and ask where are they going Fri. nite -they say to a Zochor. You can’t tell people that you’re going to a “________”!
Since this was linked . . . Health: cute chap. But I am not aware of any reason to say going to a zochor when in the street. I know that in the mikvah on Friday afternoon, people will talk about a zuchor, because Shalom is a name of Hashem that some consider to be inappropriate to say in the mikvah. ON the street, no reason not to say the full word.
Lethal beans.
wow, thanks for bumping. Happens to be, my sister had a baby girl and we followed Popa’s sage advice. In fact it almost felt like Popa was in the room
I wonder if the reason we make a shalom zachor for boys and a kiddush for girls is because women cannot be chayav in a mitzvas asei shehazman grama.
Bump. Here you go, Zaltvasser.
Thanks, @yekke2 !
Turns out, the “sholom zechorah” is actually a real thing!The Shalom Zachar – And the Shabbos Kiddush for Girls: Halachic Analysis
zaltzvasser – very interesting! Thank you!
I once heard from a famous rebbetzin that she is מכוין by שעשני כרצונו that she doesn’t have to go to shalom zachars, so if that is part of being a women, then we can’t make one for a girl.
Avrah – they are two separate issues (at least in theory) – who goes to the shalom zachor and who they are made for.
On the one hand, it is possible for shalom zachors to be for boys but both men and women attend. On the other hand, it is possible for shalom zachors to be for both boys and girls but only men attend.
By the way, most women I know do attend Shalom zachors, although there are usally less women in attendance than men.
Also, that’s a very unusual thing to have in mind for שעשני כרצונו, so I don’t think it can be used as proof of anything. I hope she has other things in mind, and that was just a joke.
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