Shocked!!

No telling what the cause was, but if she went off, she can be brought back. Is she a CR member? If not, have her join. She’ll see the happier side of yiddishkeit, and may have a change of heart.

OTD doesn’t happen from one minute to the next- there must have some inner turmoil going on for a while before it became outward.

In any event, there’s not much you can do if you don’t have a relationship with. Maybe talk to a Rav who is knowledgeable in these matters and see what advice he can give you. And daven for her!

wow! that must be very shocking! i went though the same thing! but it happened to my neighbor and she’s still OTD for 3 years now!!! its creepy! and she comes from an amazing fam!

these things just happen! usually when someone isnt happy with who they are and they look for a better life, and than it just gets “better and better” OR SO THEY THINK! of course we know its just getting worse and worse! its really hard to get out of it!

if you want, i can give a a rabbis email address that helps and chats and emails and talks to peeps who r OTD! i think it wud help her!!!

Very sad. You should keep in mind that her parents are in no way a reflection of her. Unfortunately, both people from the best homes and people from not-the-best homes go off the derech.

Besuros Tovos. (That goes for always here also)

*kapusta*

What exactly does that mean????????????

Sorry. I meant just because someone is not frum doesn’t mean their parents did something wrong. There are plenty of other reasons people go off unfortunately. (Bad friends, internet etc.)

*kapusta*

I heard in the name of a Godol, some time ago, in the time of strong winds apples do fall far from the tree. Nowdays we cannot be judgmental (no spell checker here) of parents who c”v go through this terrible ordeal. I don’t even know what to say (or write), so I won’t even try. However, let me just express my deep feelings of sorrow and pain. Every Neshama is special and unique. ???? ???? ??????? ????? ??? ????, millions of stars, yet every one with a special name. We daven for a quick return and healing. I’ll try to have her in mind today if I make it to the ????.

Hashem tests everyone! Nisyonos don’t just befall poor families. These things happen to ALL types of families and OTD happens even in homes of Roshei Yeshivas and prominent Rabbonim.

As PBA said no one knows what happens behind closed doors. And know one knows what happened with this child in her school, or within her tight circle of friends. She might have been bullied, she might have been made fun of. She might not have kept up with the class and fell behind and made to feel inadequate and stupid. Kids who lose their self confidence and self-esteem and whose teachers cut them off at the knees instead of help them find their way do tremendous harm without giving it a thought.

Kids who either have a problem at home or a problem at school but do not feel they have someone to turn to carry a burden within, a pain so large that it bursts until they lose their way. In trying to run away from the pain they try to run away from who they are and religion is the first thing they run away from. Because basically that is who they are. In addition, if its was a religious person that hurt them they blame the religion because it is all a jumble in their souls. “How could a religious person do that to me? What does religion truly mean?” They start to question G-d and have a fight with him. So if I stop davening what will you do to me? What did you do to that person that hurt me? And so on and so forth. They expect an immediate response and when they don’t get it they keep testing, they keep going. They are hurting and so they lash out. Once it starts to come out the damn has been broken. The pain they have been holding in side just comes flooding out in many different ways.

You can’t blame the child because you have no clue what happened to her/him. Were they molested? Were they humiliated? Is it a dysfunctional home that they just can’t handle anymore? Did the school throw them out for a minor infraction instead of work with them and show them love? If you don’t know the child and don’t know the pain they carry how could you possibly comment?

I have never met an OTD that went off by choice. They were usually pushed in one way or another whether consciously or subconsciously. It was never a thought out logical decision, it was something that evolved.

There are hundreds of variables and one needs to know the actual circumstances and feelings of the person, which most of us don’t, in order to comment or be helpful.