Shidduchim & The great success of our Yeshivos and Beis Yaakovs

Rav Avigdor Miller on Checking Into the Names Before Finalizing a Shidduch

Q: Why do some people go to a chacham before making a shidduch to see if the names of the prospective couple are compatible?

A: If the names are compatible? I’ll tell you why – it’s an old custom. Suppose the chosson’s name is the same as the kallah’s father’s name. It could be embarrassing. She says, “Chaim, come here. Come here quickly,” and her father starts running. “No, no. I didn’t mean you. I meant my husband”. It’s embarrassing.

Q: No. I’m not talking about the father’s name or any family correlation. I’m talking about just the names of the couple to see if they are compatible.

A: No. Nobody does that. No. It doesn’t make any sense. Who cares what the name is?!

Q: But they go. People go.

A: No. I never heard of this before. People come to me with all types of questions and nobody ever asked me that. If the names are compatible? Sarah, Chaya, Rochel, Yenta – they’re all good names. What do you mean? They’re all good names.

There are so many frum women today. Fine young women. I want to tell you – I once spoke to 2,000 girls, Bais Yakov girls. By now they’re all mothers. 2,000 girls! All nice girls! I was amazed! 2,000 girls, Kein Yirbu! And later I met the man in charge and he told me, “That’s nothing. In Satmar they have much more than 2,000 girls.” And when we passed another place in Boro Park – another 1,000 girls! Boruch Hashem, today we have plenty of frum girls – excellent frum girls. The names? That doesn’t matter. What matters is that they want to make large families. They want to make Jewish homes. It’s a pleasure to see. We’re happy about this wealth. The yeshivas and girls schools are producing great things for the Am Yisroel.

I remember a fellow in Chaim Berlin when I was mashgiach. He never learned. Never learned. Years later I was walking in the street and a man with a big beard greeted me. “Who are you?” I asked. He told me his name. It was him. I almost fainted. A good frum Jew. He had children talmidei chachomim. And grandchildren in Brisk.

All this came from nothing. The yeshivas are accomplishing tremendous things. Boruch Hashem. Do you know that the Jewish population is burgeoning today, Boruch Hashem?! Kein Yirbu. It’s a happiness!

So who cares about the names? They’re all good girls. All good girls. Kein Yirbu.

Tape # E-244 (October 2000)