Home › Forums › Shidduchim › Shidduchim in the CR!
- This topic has 82 replies, 34 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 11 months ago by Shopping613 π .
-
AuthorPosts
-
February 17, 2011 2:50 am at 2:50 am #595079yossi z.Member
Yes, I know, another shidduch thread, but this is a result of (a) different thread(s) so it really is only a moving of conversation being held in the wrong thread(s).
It has been noticed that some of the posters here would make good shidduchim with other posters. This thread is being dedicated to think up what would be (a) way(s) to possibly get things rolling without infringing on privacy (publicizing who someone is to everyone) and the YWN-CR rules.
I am not a shaddchan, I am a single boy (I already revealed all on different threads so for me personally there aren’t any issues with who I am and it isn’t hard to find me), and I am just bringing the conversation discussed in more than one thread into one central location.
π Zuberman! π
February 17, 2011 3:05 am at 3:05 am #978061popa_bar_abbaParticipantI disagree.
I think that if there is a possibility of meeting the other posters, it removes whatever veneer there currently is which keeps our contact appropriate.
If I am able to find out who the women I am talking to are, we are no longer merely faceless people on line. We are real people with potential for real relationships.
February 17, 2011 3:16 am at 3:16 am #978062ZeesKiteParticipantI guess that nixes it. He’s the Mora D’Asra of YW CR.
February 17, 2011 3:40 am at 3:40 am #978063yossi z.Memberpopa: Ok so how about one of the shaddchanim here suggest shidduchim between posters and if the mods are willing they act as go between and no real names are given and only if the posters agree that it is a shidduch they want to go through with, will any names, locations, etc be exchanged (again via the mods) this way keeping it controlled. If you might argue that there might be an uncomfortableness between posters if shidduchim are suggested so openly, I propose two solutions. One, the shaddchanim suggest to the mods directly not here in open forum, and two, they shaddchanim can suggest in such a way that it is more of a let’s-see-how-well-we-know-the-posters kinda thing.
I know I just volunteered the mods but I am sure they are also tired of all the shidduchim threads and would agree with getting something done. (Right mods? Right? Am I pushing too far?)
π Zuberman! π
February 17, 2011 3:43 am at 3:43 am #978064popa_bar_abbaParticipantThat would bother me also. I would not be comfortable talking to the females on this board if there was any chance I could ever meet them through this board.
I think I would stop posting.
February 17, 2011 3:44 am at 3:44 am #978065aries2756ParticipantI think that the mods themselves decide on their own to redt shidduchim and email potential “daters” if they are interested in finding out more about “screen-name”. If both parties agree, the mods can forward the resumes to both parties and set them up.
February 17, 2011 3:48 am at 3:48 am #978066deiyezoogerMemberPopa I’m with you on this one.
February 17, 2011 4:02 am at 4:02 am #978067yossi z.MemberBrainstorm! How about one of (or all as I seem to only see two or three) the shaddchanim get made into mods and then they can do all the work and nothing gets compromised and the only posters who would know anything are those comfortable with such an idea?
(Mods: no this is not a request this is an idea)
π Zuberman! π
February 17, 2011 4:02 am at 4:02 am #978068β DaasYochid βParticipantpopa,
You don’t have to nix the whole idea, you could personally opt out.
(I’m not in favor of the idea for a different reason.)
February 17, 2011 4:04 am at 4:04 am #978069cofeefanMemberi think i agree with popa even though i was the one who suggested it to you yossi….. to me it would take away the annonimity (spelling?!?!) of the CR. plus how would one know anything about the 2 parties? posting on a chat room is not really a way of knowing a person…..
February 17, 2011 4:29 am at 4:29 am #978070chayav inish livisumayParticipanti think the best thing about the anonymity is that for asll i know wolfish can be an 80 year old lady and brooklyn yenta can be a yeshiva bachur. it wud kill everything to reveal who we really are
February 17, 2011 4:29 am at 4:29 am #978071dunnoMemberI don’t think it’s a bad idea but I doubt it will end up happening.
February 17, 2011 4:59 am at 4:59 am #978072observanteenMemberYossi: I think this will cause more harm than good. Doesn’t this idea resemble facebook somewhat (which is why I have a filter)? Y’know, I know some girls who met boys through facebook and were/are in deep trouble. I don’t think it’s ok for everyone to know who everyone is. ESPECIALLY, since you really cannot know what the person is like just by reading his/her posts. I certainly think this is a breach in tznius. What if a girl and boy get to know each other, but are totally not meant for each other? I don’t think it’s safe.
February 17, 2011 6:11 am at 6:11 am #978073YW Moderator613MemberWe are mods, not shadchanim, we leave that up to Hashem and professionals.
Please be advised that in adhering to the CR code, we try our best to maintain each posters identity remain confidential. The CR is to chat and shmooze about whatever you please, but we do not give out any personal information under any circumstance even if a poster gives permission. Also, the last thing we need is a lawsuit, I will let you figure that one out on your own.
February 17, 2011 11:50 am at 11:50 am #978074yossi z.MemberI wasn’t suggesting that it actually be done, I was looking to see what posters actually thought and was trying to open up as many sides as possible. Personally, I am against it for more than one reason. If you read even just the last bit of the original post, you will see that I said all I was doing was centralizing the discussion.
π Zuberman! π
February 17, 2011 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #978075β DaasYochid βParticipantIf you read even just the last bit of the original post, you will see that I said all I was doing was centralizing the discussion.
Yossi, read the middle of your OP, it sounds like you’re in favor of it.
February 17, 2011 4:06 pm at 4:06 pm #978076yossi z.MemberSorry, you are right. I should have been more clear there. That is the discussion topic not me.
π Zuberman! π
February 17, 2011 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #978077β DaasYochid βParticipantYossi, you’re a stand up guy, but I still don’t understand; why would you open a thread to form a central location for CR shidduchim if you don’t like the idea?
February 17, 2011 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #978078PeerimsameachParticipantLOL
February 18, 2011 1:45 am at 1:45 am #978079yossi z.MemberDaas: it was getting difficult to have two conversations in three(?) Different threads at once so I centralized it. I am not against it in the sense if it was feasible without causing any of the above mentioned issues I would still say not to.
π Zuberman! π
February 18, 2011 1:58 am at 1:58 am #978080Pashuteh YidMemberMods, what lawsuit? You would only reveal the contact info with written consent of both parties.
February 18, 2011 2:26 am at 2:26 am #978081β DaasYochid βParticipantDon’t worry, I’m just dreing you a kup π
February 18, 2011 3:40 am at 3:40 am #978082yossi z.MemberPashuteh: it would also be cause of uncomfortability once you know who the person is. Though if they are talking through the mods no one knows anything besides what is being looked for, what they are like etc. No names or anything else until they decide it is something they want to go through with and get more serious. Mod 613 did nix it though …
Haddasah yochidstein: phew! And I thought you were being serious in of all months adar and of all days erev/purim (katan) =D
Mishe, mishe, mishe nichnas adar …
Oh, if you couldn’t tell, I am in a jewbulant mood π
π Zuberman! π
February 18, 2011 4:34 am at 4:34 am #978083β DaasYochid βParticipantYossi, if you don’t mind, please don’t use my real name. I slipped and let it out once, but the fewer people who know, the better.
February 18, 2011 4:40 am at 4:40 am #978084YW Moderator613MemberYossi, if you want to get married so badly get out of the CR and go onto JDATE. This is theyeshivaworld, not a dating forum. Please respect our policies and don’t try to overstep them.
Pusateh, imagine we get consent from both parties to reveal the information but the man or woman are not who they say they are and something terrible happens. We allow shidduch topics be discussed in the CR, but we leave the rest to the professionals.
February 18, 2011 6:38 am at 6:38 am #978085truth be toldMemberHey, why not suggest/try shidduchworld, advertised (used to be?) right here on YeshivaWorld
February 18, 2011 12:43 pm at 12:43 pm #978086yossi z.MemberMod613: I don’t want to get married that badly, I just think it would be really cool if it were doable.
Daas: you weren’t kidding then?
π Zuberman! π
February 18, 2011 4:40 pm at 4:40 pm #978087TumsMemberI don’t want to get married that badly
You should want to get married that badly.
February 18, 2011 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #978088Lomed Mkol AdamMemberObserverteen: I think a lot can be known about a person through following their posts; like hashkafa, middos, personality. I would say even more so than from real dates. The only obvious part which can’t be seen is their physical appearance.
February 18, 2011 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #978089yitayningwutParticipantYossi –
I cannot say that I don’t sometimes think to myself, “Hey, that sounds like a person I might really like,” and, as a single guy I really do understand your sentiments. However, I agree with the mods that it is a bad idea – at least according to the general spirit of this site, which is, at least from my perspective, trying to present information at a standard expected of the name it bears, and a forum for discussions of such ideas that would be discussed in the ‘yeshiva world,’ but not in any way a social network or a dating site. I don’t really think the reasons need to be explained.
Oh and by the way, who says you’re not a minor? Or a married person looking for something on the side? I don’t think the mods would find an efficient way to find that out, and would probably find themselves in a lot of trouble if something like that did happen.
February 18, 2011 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #978090chayav inish livisumayParticipantmod 613 i still havent figured it out
i think if we revealed identities this site would be just as assur as facebook myspace etc…
ISNT THIS SUPPOSED TO BE YESHIVA WORLD NEWS???
mods please bold the word yeshiva i dont know how to
February 18, 2011 6:47 pm at 6:47 pm #978091cofeefanMemberoysh i didnt know that the joke i made would go so far….
February 18, 2011 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #978092YW Moderator613MemberYes chayav, it seems we agree.
February 18, 2011 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #978093yossi z.MemberTums: I should want to get married that badly at 19 that I would try and get shidduchim started on an anonymous website?
Cofeefan: it is partly if not fully my fault for taking your joke and putting it out in the open like this for(semi) serious discussion. Maybe I should have left it where it was and not bothered.
All I was trying to do was present a theoretical situation to see what people thought, hence, why I was both defending and contending the idea.
Sorry for anything possibly done here
Zuberman
February 18, 2011 9:30 pm at 9:30 pm #978094wanderingchanaParticipantCan you put up a profile on jdate or whatever and put theyeshivaworld.com in your “interests”?
February 18, 2011 9:55 pm at 9:55 pm #978095yossi z.MemberManderingchana: hey! That would be a good idea, ‘cept that means you would learn who people are here and that might lead to problems
π Zuberman! π
February 18, 2011 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm #978096β DaasYochid βParticipantDaas: you weren’t kidding then?,
Actually, I was kidding again. That’s not my real name (unless I’m kidding now).
February 20, 2011 1:47 am at 1:47 am #978097yossi z.MemberDaas: you know I am really suspecting you are either related to me or you are someone I know with the way you are uh shall we say driving me up a wall? LOL!!!
=D Zuberman! =D (I am laughing :D)
February 20, 2011 2:11 am at 2:11 am #978098β DaasYochid βParticipantDaas: you know I am really suspecting you are either related to me or you are someone I know with the way you are uh shall we say driving me up a wall? LOL!!!
I think I’ll just keep you in suspense π
February 20, 2011 3:39 am at 3:39 am #978099yossi z.MemberMeanie! π π
π Zuberman! π
February 20, 2011 8:13 am at 8:13 am #978100observanteenMemberLMA: True. But, it still is hard to know exactly what one’s hashkafas are. You’re right about the fact that ppl feel free to write what they think, but, it’s a great risk. Y’know, what if their hashkafos AREN’T comapatible, and they meet? Besides, there are many shidduchim forums out there. Why not stick to coffee?
February 20, 2011 2:59 pm at 2:59 pm #978101candy613Memberhey yossi z- random question is it true ur chassidish??????
>O<613
February 20, 2011 4:51 pm at 4:51 pm #978102yossi z.MemberCandy: I answered that question in a different thread. What I said was that I am a bostoner (which is a chassidus stemming from EY though if you go back far enough we trace back to brody ukraine) so the way I find the term to be used, I would say no but I am a chossid. Why?
π Zuberman! π
February 21, 2011 12:06 am at 12:06 am #978103candy613Memberoh i never saw that thread i guess. We were looking at the jewish star auditions and we thought we saw you, but didnt think it was you because the person was chassidish lol but i guess it was! Just wasnt expecting it! π
>O<613
February 21, 2011 12:43 am at 12:43 am #978104yossi z.MemberYes I was on a jewish star but didn’t make it past the first round. If you look at the comments on the video I explain why/how I was messed over. Hey, if I am still in the country next year (which is highly possible) then maybe I will try again.
By the way I googled myself and I am the only yossi zuber that shows up so the chances of me being a yossi zuber that you see elsewhere are quite high
Out of curiosity, why would you think I am not chassideshe?
π Zuberman! π
February 21, 2011 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #978105candy613Memberwell after being in the cr for a while, u kinda get a picture in your head of each person, based on their posts, and responces to others. Do you know what i mean? So basikly i just didnt picture you being chassidish. That’s all – nothing wrong with it, just wasn’t expecting that! π
>O<613
February 21, 2011 6:11 pm at 6:11 pm #978106yossi z.MemberYeah I could hear that. When people see me they assume I speak yiddish and I don’t. I look and am chassideshe but I don’t seem it at all. In other words I keep all the chumros and stuff but I can be/am a chiller. I don’t mind as it is a good conversation opener … Hey you just gave me a great idea! Thanks!
π Zuberman! π
February 21, 2011 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #978107β‘onegoalβ’ParticipantYossi can I start a thread about you?
February 21, 2011 8:33 pm at 8:33 pm #978108yossi z.MemberIn regards to?
π Zuberman! π
February 28, 2011 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #978109yossi z.MemberOnegoal: you never answered my question
π Zuberman! π
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.