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How well do you need to know someone before setting them up?
What if they seem really nice to you, but you heard some things that concern you (temper etc) and you don’t know how to verify the information?
Should people with tempers not get married?
I would not set set up a friend if I knew he had a bad temper. Mermaid- yes they should get married ad they probably will buy I don’t want to be part if putting that in a girl. It’s a real marriage killer.
Noone says any negative in Shidduchim. Unless they are really nasty pple. I’ve done research on many different girls and guys in order to set them up… And I rarely hear any negative, when I know tgey should be really saying neg. I ask and when they answer pos to a question I already know. I then know that tgey are lying through their teeth! Noone lies in Shidduchim to create unhappy marriages. They only lie in order to create more marriages.. And tgey don’t want to be the ones of barres of bad news… Whatever my heads not clear right now but whoever reads this will kinda get tgd gist pple don’t want to be the one to ruin a shidduch they would rather pass the buck to someone else. So you never will know if the guy or girl has a temper prior to dating them or even sometimes until you unfortunately marry them… Then it’s too late…
Maybe they should get married but no one has to feel obligated to marry them.
Yes, people with bad tempers should NOT get married – until they have been through extensive anger management classes, and learned why they have such bad tempers, and how to control them. NO spouse or children should have to be subjected to such personality problems. If those problems cannot be controlled, that is someone who should not be married to someone whose life will suffer for it. Just my opinion. And if anyone get angry at what I wrote – I meant YOU!!!!!
Heed the warning! I always feel that if you hear such things there is a reason. Do more Research.
All this being said, everyone loses his/her temper SOMEtime (except for Hillel HaZakein). We’re not talking about that type of temper. But someone who routinely loses it verbally and/or chas v’sholom physically (and especially when it is not really warranted), is a risky shidduch. One should investigate such a report carefully, to ensure it is not just L”H being spoken about the person, or even an exaggeration. But if it can be shown that the person has a continuing problem with controlling ire, then it might be better to look elsewhere for a spouse.
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