I received this via email…gave me a good laugh. Enjoy!
Im behaving with my best behavior
bec. i need a major favor.
im not asking for money or an expensive “toy”
all i want is one good boy.
please let him have personality and good looks
i dont need a frankenstien thats “for the books”
he should be learning in yeshiva, “sitting the bench”
and yeh, please make sure hes a big mentch.
and just remember that e/ week i hold the havdallah candle very high
thats to make sure that hes a taaaaaall guy.
dont let him be fat, overweight or obese
and not a hatzoloh/shomrim macher with all the keys.
he should be polished, well dressed and in style
and its a plus if he has a nice looking smile.
let his family be normal, i dont want a nebachdik mishpacha
and good GIVING uncontrolling, un-butting in inlaws are a major bracha.
i hate shidduchim, theyre sucha pain
id rather get stuck in a storm of rain.
i hate dating, i hate tu bishvat
this whole freezer thing should defrost and rot.
! whatever u do, just get me outta this situation
it gives me headaches, stomach aches and other complications.
im behaving very good
im trying to do whatever i should
i daven mincha, tehilim, i say the zivug prayer – hey, whatever it takes!
just send me my man already, for heavens sakes!!
PLEASE help me put an end to this annoying stage of my life
and help me become the right guys wife.
dont torture me, dont make me cry
all im asking for is MY one guy!