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Any one joining me in a shaitel boycott?
My wife wants me to break the bank to get her a new one. (Perhaps I should start selling shaitels – might make me rich quick)
If you can’t help with that, at least give tips on how to convince her to go with a cheaper option (and not be upset with me afterwards that she looks ugly.)
Give her a Paula Young catalog.
She should try a shaitel gemach or “Rewrapped Shaitels,” which are top quality gently used wigs at a fraction of the price.
“We will show them all it’s true
You can wear a tichel too…..” 😉
Become Sefardi. Many Sefardi poskim ban shaitels.
You can try elana
My wife has been boycotting sheitels since we got married ten years ago. She is very makpid to always cover her head with a hat or scarf whenever she leaves the house or when we have guests. And by doing so she is in accordance with more halachic opinions than women who wear wigs. (And she has an entire closetfull of hats and scarves for a total cost of less than a single human hair wig.)
There is not now, nor was there ever, a halachic requirement to wear a wig. Wearing a wig doesn’t even correlate with how frum you are. It is a an issue of fashion and style, which is of great interest to sociologists, economists and fashion mavens – but has nothing to do with Torah and Mitsvos.
Once my wife’s boss (at her pre-aliyah job) told her it was OK to wear a hat, the sheitle went in the trash and she hasn’t worn one since. That’s been what, maybe 12 years ago?
Lior, I won’t dignify your comment with a response.
But to oomis, charlieh, and others- Please read the OP’s post.
This is not a lady asking for shopping or headcovering advice. This is a husband complaining about his wife wanting to make an extravagant purchase. Your posts have major Shalom Bayis destroying potential. Never a good idea. (Charlie, do you usually respond to a friend’s complaint about his spouse by pointing out the superiority and excellence of your own wife?)
AJewwho, examine the issue with the same lens you would employ in a discussion on any large purchase your wife is interested in, while you feel that it strains your budget. This is no different than her buying a pair of designer shoes that cost as much as nine pairs of your loafers. Be happy to have a wife who is female and enjoys looking pretty. (May I hazard a guess that you also are not averse to the idea?) Respect the fact that she has a brain and you can discuss your joint budget in a calm, methodical manner. Make an honest effort to see how much money you can come up with for her to spend on clothing, cosmetics & etc. Chances are, if she sees you’re taking her seriously and trying to accommodate as much as possible, your wife will join in being reasonable as well. And if she is confident that you appreciate her pleasant appearance, she may feel less motivated to put effort into how her friends see her looking when she’s out and about.
to A jew who cares who wants a way to bring prices down:
1. Buy less expensive (less attractive) goods
2. Substitute goods
3. If the price is high relative to the cost of production, that will attract new suppliers, which will result in lower prices.
Observe what happened to the high price oil (with many screaming “peak oil”, and oil companies making record profits). Demand fell, supply increased, and prices fell.
Welcome to capitalism 101.
Golfer, what’s wrong with oomis’ suggestions? He did ask for less expensive options.
How about getting her a cheaper wig that is truly beautiful? If it’s good, she won’t look ugly.
DY, if I had posted complaining about the high price of sheitels and wondering about a solution since I needed to buy one, then oomis’ suggestion would have been great. I’m afraid though, that if Mr AJewwho sends Mrs AJewwho to a sheitel gemach for a used sheitel when she’s pining for a new one, that will not result in warm harmonious feelings in their home. Once Mr & Mrs AJew agree on a reasonable budget, it’s up to her to decide where and how much to spend on her new sheitel. When Mrs AJ asks her friends (oomis included?) for advice, someone who had a good experience at a sheitel gemach would certainly be doing her a favor by mentioning it.
He doesn’t have to “send her” to a sheitel gemach, he can harmoniously discuss with her what the various options are and how they fit the budget.
Golfer: Great answers.
Once Mr & Mrs AJew agree on a reasonable budget, it’s up to her to decide where and how much to spend on her new sheitel.
How do they decide what is reasonable? Aren’t the various cheaper options part of the equation? She may very well be adverse to buying a pre-worn sheitel, but is he not even allowed to suggest it?
DaasYochid: ‘Reasonable’ means whatever they are able to agree on, based on their budget and what they feel they can afford. ‘Reasonable’ can mean different things to different people.
Honestly, I think that feeling pretty and attractive is more about how you feel then about the price about something. If she feels that a pre-worn sheitel is something that she doesn’t want, then she won’t feel attractive in it, however beautiful it might be. I know, it sounds irrational, but feelings aren’t rational, and this is about the way she feels. And feeling attractive and pretty is important to most women (they all define ‘attractive and pretty’ differently, and they all need different things in varying price ranges to feel attractive and pretty).
Golfer, the shaitel gemach was not the only option I mentioned. I spoke of the pre-owned sales of excellent shaitlech that for whatever reason, the owners do not want to keep. Would you not agree that for purposes of Shalom Bayis, that BOTH parties have to actively be involved in reaching a decision? This husband is looking for ways to stop his wife from spending extravagantly for beautiful shaitels. I mentioned two possible ways for her to acquire shaitlech, in the event that other head coverings do not appeal to her.
I am a woman who likely will NEVER be able to afford to buy a brand-new shaitel, expensive or otherwise. So I have had to make some adjustments to my way of thinking (not all that difficult, by the way, because I don’t feel “entitled” to a $3,000 shaitel or more costly, as do so many young women today), and I found a stunning barely-used shaitel at a pre-owned shaitel business for $700 (which for me was also a bit steep, but I had been saving for it), which I bought to wear for my son’s chasunah. At the LEAST, the shaitel was worth more than twice that, and it was just as gorgeous as any shaitel I have seen. No one has to be embarrassec about buying such a shaitel, and considering what they cost today, a young woman would do well to at least consider this option, especially when her husband is upset about the cost. THAT is what helps maintain Shalom Bayis – the recognition that maybe one has to delay self-indulgence, because of the bigger picture.
Be good, it was a rhetorical question.
Freeda have discounted prices on discontinued shaitels. You can check it out on their site. The prices are a third to a half of the regular price for the shaitel. Many of them are really nice. Saw some reviews of them and the comments were good that the hair quality was excellent.
Mazal tov oomis.
Oomis im with you on this one, the hair is anyways second hand so who cares if its 3rd hand!
Another boycott thread? I think the poster’s wife needs a reality check. SHe isn’t the U.S. government which can just print money that it needs, so she has to realize whar her family can afford and live with it.
Thank you so much, Takamamesh. The chasunah was in September.
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