Set up a system to give the Chosson & Kallah a present.

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  • #1855659
    Haimy
    Participant

    Quite a few Chasuna’s have taken place over the last 7 weeks in backyards & ally ways. I assume the cash presents the young couples received were minimal since almost no one attended their chasunah. Cash presents are an important source of financial stability for & young couple so it would be a appropriate to send them a check even if you couldn’t attend due to corona. Perhaps someone can develop an electronic system where all those invited virtually to a chasunah can give a gift without attending. This would certainly be included in the Mitzva of Simchas Chosson Vekallah.

    #1855685
    Joseph
    Participant

    Cash presents are an important source of financial stability for & young couple

    Where’d you ever get that idea??

    #1855686
    unommin
    Participant

    Uh, perhaps something like that already exists. Welcome to the 21st century.

    #1855755
    commonsaychel
    Participant

    Sorry wedding presents being the norm have gone the way of the manual typewriter, leaded gasoline and the rotary telephone

    #1855791
    anonymous Jew
    Participant

    Gee, presuming that you were an invited guest, I have a revolutionary way to send a monetary gift.
    Please follow these instructions very carefully:
    1. Write out a check, made out to the new couple, in the amount you wish to give
    2. Address an envelope to the correct addres
    3. Put check in envelope
    4. Seal envelope
    5. Put a stamp on the envelope in upper right
    6. Put your address in upper left
    7. Walk to a postal service drop box and drop in the envelope

    #1855813
    ubiquitin
    Participant

    AJ
    that has way to many steps

    Maybe someone can event some sort of electronic system where you can directly send money?

    Like from a bank say chase to allow you to quickly pay someone? Or some system where you can pay your pal?

    Hopefully some such system will be invented soon

    #1855823
    Joseph
    Participant

    or Macy’s bridal registry?

    #1855962

    AJ’s method has worked for years. But he missed a STEP. Put on mask on in case you meet a neighbor on the street and want to converse with them (if you live in a state that requires this).

    #1855967
    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Unless your are fortunate and were planning to send a very large gift to the lucky chosson/Kalah, you can take out your phone and transfer $500-$1000 on Zelle (or one of several similar instant cash transfer systems) in less time then it will take you to read the OP. No need to reinvent the wheel.

    P.S. Obviously, the young couple need to have registered on the same cash transfer network but that also takes less time than it takes to register on Macy’s Bridal Registry.

    #1856011
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    I am in the minority here in that I believe a couple should not marry until they have the ability to be self supporting. It is not the responsibility of invited guests to ensure the couple has enough money to establish a household.
    I am not against parents giving a helping hand (should they choose), but feel no obligation to finance a newly married couple.
    Delay marriage until after your education is advanced enough so you can provide the necessities of food, clothing and shelter.

    and contrary to commonsaychel’s opinion, Mrs. CTL enjoys choosing a gift for the couple getting married. We generally only give money to a couple who is marrying far from there new home and would find transporting gifts a burden.

    #1857069
    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    @CTL

    That makes too much sense, which is why most people don’t wait to get married. There is too much pressure for young people to get married. Because what young Jew wants to be 25 and single. The community will talk about how its a shame that they are so old and are single.
    Also people should not make big weddings if they have to go into debt to do so. Instead of spending an exorbitant sum of money on a wedding, give the young couple some funds to start life with.

    #1857317
    bsharg2
    Participant

    @CTL

    Personally, I feel that the whole idea of delaying marriage until you’re “ready” or “feel ready” or “done with education” or have “enough” money (how much is enough exactly?) is the influence of goyisher culture creeping into ours. It’s best to marry as early as possible, for many reasons.

    1) The younger you are, the easier to make a shidduch
    2) Easier to have children, less fertility related issues which occur with age, and start to increase especially after age 25.
    3) You have more energy for raising young children when you are younger. And if you start having children when young, then have more when you’re older, the older children help out with the younger ones.
    4) Shalom Bayis. When you are younger, you can more easily change your habits to make a marriage work easier. I’m talking about the little things/habits that can annoy a spouse. The older you get, the more you become set in your ways, and harder to accomodate the differences with your spouse. Easier for a younger couple who grow together.
    5) Research shows that those who marry younger are happier

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