Separate Yeshivas for the Kollel Families

DY:

You seem to imply that yeshivos have the advice of a gadol that supports their exclusionary admission policies. I challenge you. Is there any way you could prove that? I have been able to question menahalim and menahalos many times, and there has never been a single instance in which any of the admission policies were set or endorsed by a single gadol. Rather, the attitude is, “This yeshiva is mine, and I will restrict it to whomever I wish. The flavor of my yeshiva is set according to my own personal preferences.” Perhaps such an attitude is legal (or halachically tolerable) but one may justly question whether it fulfills the ratzon Hashem of making Torah education available to all our youth.

Whenever I see a gadol questioned about these exclusionary policies, I always find their responses in the negative. Do you have other experience? The video of Rav Shteinman shlit”a is most expressive, and he is clearly not limiting his response to that specific situation.

Interjection, no I’m not afraid of individuality, I’m afraid of negative influences. Of course I try to be a good role model; that is indeed the single most important part of chinuch, but my responsibility does not end there.

Having spoken to mechanchim about the issue, it is clear that children who have been exposed to filth have a harder struggle with the yetzer hora as adolescents than those who haven’t (whose struggle is hard enough as it is).

You are also pretty naive if you think these kids are only exposed to a “weeny” bit of filth. It’s much worse than that. (This is not a guess.)

DY:

Your fear about negative influences has a point of merit, but is also a source of grave danger. I do not want my child exposed to many of the decadent influences of today’s world. However, not every kid that slips into most of these traps brings them to peers to dendanger them. It is widely believed, for instance, that a kid that begins dabbling in drugs is a rodef. This is sometimes true. But many times, it is not. The child needs treatment for a disease, not punishment for a crime. Many drug users want their addiction to remain hidden, and they withhold it from their peers like they hide it from others. Meanwhile, there is an absolute chiyuv to ascertain the “rodef” status before committing the spiritual murder of throwing this kid into the welcoming arms of the street.

Yes, kids who are exposed have a greater yetzer horah. Does this sentence anyone who knows the kid? You are correct that any exposure is major exposure. But this does not necessarily expose others. This needs to be determined on a case-by-case basis, not by policy.

It think we can all agree that there are some people that we would not want our children to hang out with, for fear of them being negatively influenced; I think the same can and should be applied to talmidim. While many exclusionary acceptance policies are based solely on gayvah, there must be some limit about who we will allow to influence our kids.

VM, I don’t understand.