Selichos….ooooh NOOO

You can always go to a late night minyan instead of early morning if this is the ishue.

Beside the standard “these are necessary preparation days for Rosh Hashanah” you should know that I notice you’re not alone. Look around during these two weeks and you’ll see that many men who you meet seem to be sleep-deprived.

So the best chizuk I can afford at this time is probably “you’re in good company with the rest of K’lal Yisroel.

Wishing all a K’siva V’chasima Tova for 5772.

if anyone needs a boost to help wakr up in the morning you can try this very yeshivish trock my friend does.

before he goes to bed at night he makes a thermos flask of coffee and leaves it by his bed for th morning with a straw, the first he does when he is sitting in bed is drink the coffee, he says he is then able to fly out of bed, and his wife has got used to it!!!

YOu have it easy Iimagine what the sefardim go through (they started on rosh chodesh)

Hello BallHabooze and This name is already taken,

I was just re-reading a part of a book called Days of Awe, regarding preparation in Elul for the High Holy Days, and the text was discussing Selichot. Could you or anyone in the Coffee Room tell me if it is common practice to wake up at midnight to begin reading and reciting the prayers? The book makes it sound as if that is the case. Also, do women do this as well as men, and if they do, is there any difference in the way they go about doing this?

Thank you for explaining the details to me, and I hope you have a restful Shabbos!

Most shuls have the prayers after midnight, there are a few that have as early at 10pm.

As far as women go, in the more Modern Orthodox shuls, women usually do attend and many times the Shuls have a larger program before the Selichot prayers.

In the more Charedi communities I dont think women attend

Thank you for explaining this to me shein, zahavasdad, and Shopping613. So it sounds as if saying selichot is something that a woman can do at home on her own. The editor of the book I’m re-reading is S. Y. Agnon — is that who you are talking about, Shopping 613?

Aurora, sorry that I’m responding after the times for the Selichos in your part of the world. As a matter of fact, many women do go for the first night of Selichos, not usually past this point, although it is definitely not unheard of. My daughter went most of the nights a few years ago. She was even allowed to come to school late if I sent a note with her.

As far as saying the Selichos prayers at home, there are many parts that are possible to say, but I am under the impression that the parts regarding the 13 Attributes of H-Shem are not to be said unless one is present in a minyan (quorum) of men. Artscroll probably has some of the laws regarding this in the back of the prayer books for these special prayers.

I do, however, think as a first step that it would be perfectly fine for you to start off by saying these prayers at home especially since you’ve said that you’re far from an Orthodox community. As an older single in the past, when I would make my Shabbos plans for the Shabbos when Selichos would begin that night, I would ask my host if I could stay over until Sunday morning so that I could be nearby for the Selichos as well. It was never a problem, so perhaps next year you’ll be able to do that.

Just as an aside, I read in another post that you feel you are of an age that you might never get married, you might actually find that getting married at an older age is still possible in the Orthodox world. Men are encouraged to be married as it says in the Torah that it is “not good for a man to be alone”, and I know of one rabbi who got married again recently and he is over the age of 85, so you never know.

Wishing you a meaningful New Year in your path to Torah and Mitzvos.

Hello Nechomah,

Thank you for your encouragement and suggestions! I’m glad that some of the practices I can begin at home, especially while I’m still helpings my mother as she goes through chemotherapy. I am also hopeful that maybe someday I may still find my other half! I hope you have a wonderful New Year 🙂

Aurora, I sort of agree with golfer – SY Agnon was a great author, but even though he did use many torah sources in his works of fiction (for which he won a Nobel prize), He was not writing as an explainer or strengthener or teacher of Jewish practice or philosophy, and did not purport to be an authority on Jewish customs.

I also have a lot of admiration for your journey, and I do think you should explore what particular approach to Torah Judaism works for you. Agnon might be an interesting sidebar or illustration of Jewish life and tradition, but he was primarily a writer of fiction.

In Israel in the Charedi communities it has become common for women to come to the selichos every day. The 12:30 ones are full of women (more girls, though) and the early morning 7 AM selichos also have a nice showing of women.

every single sefaradi that saw this post probably made a face because (1) they do it for forty days; (2) men, women and children all go and (3) they all love it and look forward all year for selichos to start.

Thank you very much Nechomah for your explanation and encouragement — it is so helpful to have both right now!

Lebidik yankel and besalel, I am very interested to hear what goes on in other places and in other observant Jewish communities. What besalel said made me think of some questions I have, if anyone has some answers:

It sounds from what besalel wrote that some people of Sephardic background are part of the CR. I often see on posts and threads here the word “Yiddishkeit,” which I had thought was an expression referring more or less to Ashkenazi Jewish people. Are Sephardic (and Mizrahi, for that matter) Jewish people part of the “Yiddishkeit” that posters here refer to? If not, what are the equivalent expressions to “Yiddishkeit” for Sephardic and Mizrahi people? Does the website name here “Yeshiva World” encompass yeshiva thinking and discussions that are primarily geared towards one of these three major groupings of Jewish people, or to all of them? Do people of these three major groupings tend to go to separate Ashkenazic, Sephardic, or Mizrahi yeshivas, or do they tend to all learn together?

Thank you for your clarifications!

Hello besalel,

That is beautiful! I agree completely. Is what you wrote in English a translation of the Hebrew? I don’t read Hebrew at this point but will be changing that!

besalel

You can say what you said and also give her an answer to her question.

aurora77

Yiddishkeit means Judaism however it is a Yiddish word “Yid” means Jew so Yiddish means Jewish i.e. if someone speaks Yiddish he speaks “Jewish.” So the term Yiddishkiet is a term used by those with Ashkenazic and Yiddish speaking backgrounds, or education.

Yiddishkiet or Judaism is observed by all religious Jews but is basically a term that is only used by Ashkenazim.

As for education, yes for the most part there are separate Yeshivos for all. The main reason being that Sefardim pasken (loosely translated as follow Halachically) the Mechaber (Mechaber means author)(Rav Yosef Karo,who wrote the Shulchon Aruch) and Ashkenazim pasken like the Rema (Rabbi Moshe Isserles who wrote the Hagaah which is an interlinear gloss inside the Shulchon Aruch where he edits the words of the Mechaber of Shulchon Aruch and argues with him). Therefore since there are variations in Halachos and Minhagim the schools are usually separate however you will often find some sefardim in Ashkenazic schools and I assume vice versa although I cant be sure of it.

The Yeshivaworld news caters specifically to those who consider themselves part of the Yeshiva world (more to the right) but not Chassidic.

I can’t make it to any slichos at all. I need to sleep at least 8-9 hours. Since I have to get up at 6:15 (actually 6:00), where would slichos fit in?

And no, I cannot survive on less. When I sleep 7-8 hours, I fall asleep at work numerous times during the day, even in the middle of calls with customers.

It may seem excessive, but for an adult to need anywhere between 5 to 10 hours of sleep is not excessive, not abnormal. Ideally, I need 10 hours indeed, but I only rarely get that.