Home › Forums › Family Matters › Sefer for a Couple to Learn?
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October 17, 2012 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #605281CaterwaulerMember
My wife and I made a Kabalah over Yamim Noraim to begin learning together once a week for 30-45 minutes. Married 10+ years with B”AH a beautiful handful of kids and both working, so as many of you know, not as easy as it sounds! Now I need ideas for a Sefer for us to learn together… We have strong Yeshiva/Seminary backgrounds. It can be Mussar, Hashkafa, Parsha related, etc. Would like a sefer in hebrew as opposed to english. (We’re already doing Shmiras Halashon Yomi and Hilchos Shabbos at the Shabbos table.) As an example Michtav Meeliyahu would be perfect, but we wanted somethng new (to us).
Serious suggestions will be much appreciated!
October 17, 2012 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #900275gavra_at_workParticipantMedrash Rabba on the Parsha
October 17, 2012 6:35 pm at 6:35 pm #900276Feif UnParticipantIsh Ha-Halakha by R’ Soloveitchik
October 17, 2012 6:45 pm at 6:45 pm #900277WIYMemberGreat idea. Btw you both covered the whole Michtav Meeliyahu already? Theres a lot there so even if you did parts of it, everything he says is essential.
Maybe learn Mesilas Yesharim together?
October 17, 2012 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #900278BaalHaboozeParticipantR’ Shlomo Wolbe’s seforim on chinuch are fantastic, and a classic.
October 17, 2012 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #900279RabbiRabinMemberRav Pinkus’ seforim are phenomenal. Specifically Shabbos Malkesah (which will give you a completely refreshing look at Shabbos) and many other seforim that have been rewritten from his shiurim.
October 17, 2012 8:03 pm at 8:03 pm #900280bp27ParticipantI think any of R’ Shimshon Pincus ZT”l’s seforim would be perfect
October 17, 2012 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #900281leeboh boh’eeParticipantthe amazing rebbetzin kanievsky a’h, used to recommend learning 2 halachos of loshon horo every day. a big segulah! ( the sefer ” praying with fire ” is also excellent !
October 17, 2012 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #900282SaysMeMembernesivos shalom al hachinuch or al haparshah perhaps
October 17, 2012 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #900283flyerParticipantA sefer on tefilla might be nice – r’ pinkus’s sefer on tefilla is amazing.
October 17, 2012 9:48 pm at 9:48 pm #900284bubkaParticipantOz Vehadar Levusha (Rav Pesach Eliyahu Falk)
October 17, 2012 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #900285Nothing beats Pele Yoetz! Best sefer I know for this purpose.
Another candidate could be Derech Hashem, but my first choice for this is Pele Yoetz. Short, very interesting pieces about all kinds of subjects.
October 17, 2012 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #900286Feif UnParticipantbubka: They want to grow in Judaism, not be scared off.
October 17, 2012 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #900287crisisoftheweekMemberDoesn’t Oz Vehadar Levusha have a haskama from Rav Bin Laden?
October 17, 2012 11:55 pm at 11:55 pm #900288bubkaParticipant@crisisoftheweek: No.
J.B.’s book, that Feif referenced up above, must have that haskama.
October 18, 2012 1:45 am at 1:45 am #900289Matan1Participantbubka
If by “J.B” you mean Hagoan Harav Yoshe Ber Soloveichik ztl, than no.
October 18, 2012 8:29 am at 8:29 am #900290WhiteberryMemberKitsur shulchan aruch
October 18, 2012 11:35 am at 11:35 am #900291just my hapenceParticipantbubka – presumably you’ve heard of Harav Arvrohom Gurvitz shlit’a, Rosh Yeshivas Beis Yosef D’Gateshead (otherwise known as Gateshead Yeshiva) who once told a friend of mine “he’s not J. B., he’s R’ Yoshe Ber MiBoston”. I take it he’s charedi enough for you…
Personally, my wife and I learn shmiras shabbos k’hilchoso.
October 18, 2012 12:21 pm at 12:21 pm #900292gavra_at_workParticipantOz Vehadar Levusha (Rav Pesach Eliyahu Falk)
Joseph: If I were cynical, I would say that the OP asked to learn a Sefer. If I were cynical. 🙂
October 18, 2012 1:51 pm at 1:51 pm #900293YW Moderator-42ModeratorMesilas Yisharim, Mishna Brura,
or Daf Yomi with Rashi, Tosfos, and Maharsha
October 18, 2012 2:00 pm at 2:00 pm #900294Feif UnParticipantbubka: I know that my Rosh Yeshiva told me that Oz Vehadar Levusha is good for scaring girls away from the mitzva of tznius, and he doesn’t recommend it to anyone.
He also once told my brother that although he doesn’t necessarily agree with R’ Soloveitchik’s hashkafos, he was still a huge talmud chacham and a gadol, and he has a tremendous amount of respect for him. He once heard a bachur in the yeshiva refer to him as JB, and he blew up at him for his lack of respect.
October 18, 2012 2:22 pm at 2:22 pm #900295MimkMember“bubka: I know that my Rosh Yeshiva told me that Oz Vehadar Levusha is good for scaring girls away from the mitzva of tznius, and he doesn’t recommend it to anyone”
Chas V’shalom. R’ Falk is tremendous person, how can you have the downright chutzpah of saying that?? The sefer is a great eye opener which covers all aspects of tznius, machsava and l’maaseh.
October 18, 2012 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #900296CaterwaulerMemberThank you for all the excellent suggestions so far- I’ll definitely use one of them. Esp. thinking about Pele Yoetz or R’ Pincus- shabbos or tefilah. Didn’t mean to start a debate on which people and sefarim are acceptable tho- let’s keep it positive!
October 18, 2012 2:50 pm at 2:50 pm #900297bubkaParticipantFeif: My Rosh Yeshiva told me that Oz Vehadar should be read by every girl in high school and should be given to every Choson and Kallah.
As far as JB, he was often referred to, even by Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshiva, by “J.B.”, including Rav Schenur Kotler and even by a Rosh Yeshiva from YU (Rav Gorelick).
October 18, 2012 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #900298Feif UnParticipantMimk: It wasn’t my words, it was my Rosh Yeshiva who said it. He is a well known and respected Rosh Yeshiva. He told me it contains every chumrah known in tznius and presents it as basic halachah. He said it’s only good for scaring people away.
I was told that even R’ Falk (who I have no doubt is a tremendous talmud chacham) wrote that the standards are intended for his community, and not meant to provide standards for other areas. His community is known to be far more machmir than almost any area outside of certain parts of Israel.
October 18, 2012 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #900299WIYMemberCAterwauler
I have learned many parts of Pele Yoetz and I dont recommend it. It has some very scathing mussar in there and it is not for the faint of heart. I would say you are way better off with Rav Pinkus.
October 18, 2012 5:40 pm at 5:40 pm #900300CaterwaulerMemberWIY- Thanks for the info; i do want to keep it upbeat for best chance of sticking w/it. BTW you mentioned about Michtav meeliyahu- totaly agree that everything is essential, but we learned MM weekly when we were first married for over a year (and I still learn it on my own) and just looking for something new this time around. Thanks again!
PS- another interesting suggestiion someone local (we live in Baltimore) gave me was Alei Shur. I’ve seen bits and pieces but never really went through it. we’ll see- I have until Sunday to choose!
October 18, 2012 8:51 pm at 8:51 pm #900301WhiteberryMemberI’m not of the stature of those who alledgedly called Rav Soleveitchik Z’l, “JB” and I won’t ever do so. In my mind it is every bit as insulting, chustpadik and a bizayon hatorah for someone like me to call him JB as it would be to refer to Rav Elyashiv Z’l as Joey. I don’t think anyone reading this is of such a stature either that they should do so as well. It is also the same insult, chutzpah and bizayon hatorah to knock Rav Falk or his sefer. Disagreeing with the hashkafos or psak of someone is one thing, insulting them or their work is quite another.
I think a seder in mesilas yesharim, followed up by one in orchos tzadikim and shmiras halashon is in order for some people.
October 18, 2012 9:34 pm at 9:34 pm #900302OneOfManyParticipantSefer Hachinuch is a good sefer to learn – not too heavy or scathing. Sefer Kuzari is also interesting (if you are into stuff like that.)
October 21, 2012 5:11 am at 5:11 am #900303WIYMemberCaterwauler
Another good suggestion I thought of is the Sefer mitzvos Hakatzer by the chofetz chaim. He lists the 77 mitzvos Asei and 194 mitzvos lo sasei applicable today and gives an explanation of each one. I went through it. Very essential sefer in my opinion that will boost your appreciation for mitzvos and clarify for you what the actual mitzvos are. Read more here if the mods let this through.
October 21, 2012 11:41 am at 11:41 am #900304moi aussiMemberThe Garden of Emuna, by Rabbi Shalom Arush
October 21, 2012 2:44 pm at 2:44 pm #900305yehudayonaParticipantThis clearly doesn’t belong in this topic, but since WIY gave a link to the Chofetz Chaim’s list of mitzvos that apply today…
He lists yibum and chalitza as two mitzvos. Does anyone in any community practice yibum today?
October 21, 2012 3:16 pm at 3:16 pm #900306Think firstMemberYehudayona- the chofetz Chaim lists all mitzva that we can do while in galus without a Bais hamikdosh. Yes , you can do yibum without a Bais hamikdosh, but you can’t bring bikkurim. Now it’s true that the minhag is that we choose Chalitza instead if yibum today and honestly I’m not sure how long that goes back however the point is thats it’s doable in galus.
Careful how you speak about a gadol hador!
October 21, 2012 3:17 pm at 3:17 pm #900307susheeMemberYehuda: Yes. Sephardim do practice yibum today.
October 21, 2012 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #900308CircleParticipantPele Yoetz is fantastic, as is Sharai Tefilla by Rav Pincus.
How about Chumash with Rashi slowly?
October 22, 2012 1:51 pm at 1:51 pm #900309MimkMemberSefer Tomer Devorah. Its a great sefer, teaches about middos. Great for a couple to learn since middos are the most important thing in a marriage.
October 22, 2012 2:14 pm at 2:14 pm #900310WIYMemberMimk
Good idea but parts of it are a little esoteric involving kabbalistic concepts so without a perush you can get left not understanding it. For something learned once a week its better to learn something simple with easy reading that wont get bogged down.
October 22, 2012 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #900311AZOI.ISParticipantWhat Sefer/Book is recommended in English (other than Hilchos Lashon Hara)?
October 22, 2012 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #900312WhiteberryMemberAnything from rabbi miller.
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