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What sort of seder are you supposed to run? Is the father supposed to spend time talking about Emunah & Bitachon and the great lessons we can learn from Yetzias Mitzrayim? Or is detailed in-depth portrayal of the story – shibud/geuloh the ikker?
How much do you let your kids speak, and how much do you insist on saying yourself?
It probably depends on the audience, and the father’s preference. I can’t imagine there’s a wrong answer. But if others can bring proof to the contrary as to what is the ikker…
It is the father’s job to pass on the Mesorah to his children.
How much do you let your kids speak, and how much do you insist on saying yourself?
The seder is specifically for the children to be speaking.
The Seder is designed for the children to remain engaged and involved, but the main point is not for them to be retelling 101 gematrios about the Hagadah. The focus of the Seder should be the father telling the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim, with a focus on Ikrei Ha’emuna. This is the bedrock of our Emuna. As a rebbe, I do not overload my (upper elementary) students with divrei Torah for the Seder, and the ones that I do share with them are focused on the Emuna and Bitachon lessons of the story.
Both bekius and iyun – you need to cover the whole story, and focus on a few details and lessons to learn.
This is a trick question – everyone knows the father can’t have a job, or else he won’t find shidduchim for his kids.
On a more serious note, my kids are older (as in moved out of the house), so I basically concentrate on a few things that I prepare ahead of time.
The Torah states clearly to talk about yetzias mitzrayim. But part of that is to teach the children about going out of any situation of conflict with goyim or yetzer hora. as it says, if not for yetzias mitzrayim we would still be helf by pharoah. that means still in golus with the yetzer horah. talking about the holocaust and how today we have so much torah and yiddishkeit, that we survived as a nation. and also allowing the children to be in the discussion so that they learn.
yekke2: “Asking” entails speaking.
joseph,
(transalation)
so that YOU should say in the ears of your children that which i played with the egyptians in egypt
and you should tell over to your children on that day “b/c of this Hashem took me out of egypt”
the mitzvah is for the father to speak
Who decided?
??? ??????, for one.
Who decided that talking about “Klal Yisroel’s survival through the Holocaust”
bchol dor vdor omdim aleinu l’chaloseinu
Asking entails speaking. Children should be asking. Hence, children should be speaking – and given time to do so.
there is a differnce between speaking (saying a dvar torah) and asking, curious so wants to know whats going on
asking entails talking not speaking, theres a reason speakers are called that not talkers
The GRA says the seder is to make the children Love and Want to do Mitzvos.
After several years of inviting guests to the Seder, this year I am only having my children, so that I can give them, undivided attention, and not have to deal with guests arriving late [especially this year that it shall get nite later than most years], and then whether my daughters can sing in front of other men, and quite clearly, Seder nite is my children’s time for them.
“The seder is specifically for the children to be speaking.”
????? ???? It is the father’s job to do the talking – to his children.
It is the father’s job to speak. That said, it must be done “Derech Shayloh U’teshuva” so children questions are not only required, they are crucial. See Griz in Stencil. See also Sifsei Chaim on this – cant remember which ma’amar.
As an aside, the Rambam is mefurash that the Mitzvoh is to be doresh on the Pessukim from Aromi Oveid Ovi. Therefore the bits before are nice, but only a prelude to the main act.
See Rav Brevda (cant remember name of sefer off hand) who brings a beautiful mehalech through the whole haggodoh showing how it mamash is maschil begunus and mesayem bshvach.
There is also a well-known debate between Reb Chaim Brisker (I think)and Reb Chatzkel as to whether the ikkar is emunoh or hakoros hatov. See Rav Brevda again – talmid of Reb Chatzkel so goes with his mehalech.
Personally, I try and make it interactive for a bit, then serious, then interactive, just to keep my kids awake.
The main point – as MB brings- make sure you anser your kids question – why is this night different!
The main objective is the haggadah shel Pesach. Our chachamim have created the path of how to discuss yetzias Mitzrayim. Naturally, it brings with it emunah, as we discuss the nissim that Hashem did for us.
I make sure to discuss mesorah as well, that the Seder is something that has been made since the night of makkos bechoros, and unlike any other religion it is a story that is handed down from generation to generation.
The mitzvah is that kids should asking questions and to answer them that tonight is different. NOT ALL QUESTIONS HAVE AN ANSWER!! Some things that we do, especially in the beginning, is just to make them curious so that they should ask (and that is the answer that I give to the kids)!
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