School Administration overstepping bounds

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  • #618447
    kollelman
    Participant

    What’s your opinion on school administrators, secretaries, etc. trying to force their ideas/undermine parents? What gives them a right to tell kids that they shouldn’t be driven to school at their age – and should take the city bus/train/other form of transportation? Parents decide when a child is mature enough and whether they are comfortable with giving a child responsibility of navigating a city alone.

    It is highly disrespectful and an utter lack of middos to try to undermine a child’s parents’ decisions, especially when told to the child. If you have a problem with how I raise my children, and what I’m comfortable allowing them to do, CALL ME.

    #1184551
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    If you have a problem with the school, don’t send there.

    #1184552
    Meno
    Participant

    I was driven to school every day, K-12. I don’t understand what the problem is.

    #1184553
    dovrosenbaum
    Participant

    Frum yidden tend to largely be in each other’s business. A yenta or a budinsky will always have what to say.

    #1184554
    kollelman
    Participant

    It’s not the whole school. There are 1-2 individuals who have made comments like this. Overall the school is very nice.

    #1184555
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Ignore them. Tell your kid to ignore them. If they cant ignore them, they should respectfully respond, this is my parents decision, if you disagree please speak to them.

    #1184556
    catch yourself
    Participant

    As usual, it is impossible to comment on a particular case without any context.

    If the person making these comments is the principal, given the way you feel about it, you should switch schools. Proper Chinuch can not happen if the parents and the school do not get along.

    If the person is the secretary, you can complain to the administration, but that most likely will get you nowhere, so just grin and bear it. Use the opportunity to teach your children how to be a Savlan.

    #1184557
    MTAB
    Participant

    Oh you thought your kid was your own. You didn’t know the school owns your kid?

    #1184558
    lakewoodwife
    Participant

    Without more details, it’s hard to comment. I read the situation very differently: I imagine that whoever it is is trying to make your life easier. They probably figure that you would want them to go via public transportation but that your kid is giving you a hard time so they were trying to help you.

    I could believe that a Rebbe or member of Hanhala noticed you dropping your kid off one day and was surprised because many/most classmate come on their own. When they asked why you had driven, your son answered “she drives me every day” at which point they encouraged him to come on his own. They probably thought they were teaching derech eretz!

    #1184559
    kollelman
    Participant

    Lakewoodwife: Actually, my son is around 11 – probably the youngest in his class as well. We have slowly been giving him more freedom, but still aren’t ready to let him make a 2+ mile journey to school alone. He rode his bike several times, but only with a friend. We consider mass transit out of the question and drive him to school if necessary.

    He came late due to unexpected construction causing the usual 8 minute drive to triple. He got an earful while trying to get a late note. I understand that others live closer, or are willing to allow EVEN their 8-year-olds to bike to school alone. I personally don’t go for it. Whatever.

    #1184560
    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Kollelman: You can have a meeting with the individual who gave your son “an earful”. I had an incident like this when my oldest (now 26) was in 9th grade. I allowed him to stay home during a 12 inch snow storm. The next day when mass transit was normal he went to yeshiva and the menahel read him “the riot act” about missing yeshiva. My son called me and I called the menahel and told him that I gave him permission to stay home. I then asked the menahel why he wasn’t in yeshiva during the snow storm and he answered that he was stuck in Monsey. I then read him the “riot act” about practice what you preach. Needless to say he never questioned any of my decisions after that.

    #1184561
    Bored_on_the_Job
    Participant

    Wow, it makes me feel overwhelmingly hopeless that we have no choice but to leave the chinuch of our children in the hands of people like the ones mentioned above….

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