Tagged: gender
- This topic has 60 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 9 months ago by ZeesKite.
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February 13, 2011 12:55 pm at 12:55 pm #741159essy8Member
as far as just saying good morning or even just nodding and smiling….i believe its a basic in derech eretz and a big kiddush Hashem, but does anyone else find that goyim are more receptive to it? i find that goyim always respond but jewish women (i dont greet men first) often dont respond, especially in certain neighborhoods.
February 13, 2011 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #741160bygirl93Memberplease clarify what you mean when you say New York because where I live which IS part of nyc and is not bklyn and most ppl do say gs to each other, the only time one does not is when a teenage girl is passing a teenage boy- and thats because of tznius and if s/o doesnt say gs they at least nod in your direction and smile! can i point out though that in bklyn i was walking one shabbos with my aunt and the only people who said gud shabbos back to us were two israeli girls who were dressed just barely on the guidlines of tznuis- that made our day! in bklyn i have a rule of not saying gud shabbos at all unless I’m with s/o else- u have to follow minhag hamakom- no? 🙂 and i def. dont say to the oppisite gender either BUT you def. should smile at the ppl who pass you in the street or in a store whether they are jewish or not it is a big kiddush HASHEM- i always met this lady walking home from school and i always smiled at her on my way- one day i was running late and when i walked by she wasn’t there- which was normal cuz it was a bus stop but the next day when i walked by on time- she smiled back at me and asked- is everything ok? you weren’t here yestereday- i then realized that ppl notice what you do and how u act even your facial expressions- i assured her everything was fine and then she proceeded to tell me how she takes the bus to visit her mother who is really sick and my smile everyday gives her the courage to go on and believe everything will be ok- moral of the story- u never know who you will affect so even if you dont want to say gs at least acknowledge the person!!! the greatest gedolim did- so dont think ur such a tzaddik for not talking to women- if the gedolim acknowledged that other ppl matter- u can too!
February 14, 2011 3:38 am at 3:38 am #741161musictomyearsMemberI remember in high school we asked our teacher if a boy who looks “at risk” says good shabbos to us is it a chillul Hashem not to answer back, because it might turn him off more that Jews are “impolite” etc…. She answered NO WAY
But my personal opinion is that if its just a “no pause, keep walking” kind of good shabbos than i think its ok. But if he looks like he is interested in continuing conversation, than no.
February 14, 2011 3:56 am at 3:56 am #741162koillel101MemberIn bp, there are shuls and walking home from shul is usually just around a block;s walk.-not too many people to meet besides neighbors to whom e/o says GS. If you walk across town, most people only say GS to people that they know the same way you only say to people who you know “hello” during the week and not e/ person you meet.
February 14, 2011 4:16 am at 4:16 am #741163ItcheSrulikMemberThis shabbos I was walking back from shul with my chavrusa and as usual said good shabbos to everyone. After I greeted a group of girls and they responded, he said “good for them. They must have not went to beis yaakov.”
February 15, 2011 4:53 am at 4:53 am #741164koillel101MemberIS- that is not nice.
February 15, 2011 5:04 pm at 5:04 pm #741165ZeesKiteParticipantJust wanted to point out one thing Rabbi Miller said. When passing a Jew (M/F) or a Jewish house, offer a silent bracha. ?????? ?????? does not solely denote Gentiles, it includes a Yid benching another Yid. Same, IMvHO, (v=very), should be with a ‘Gut Shabbos’ to the other gender. Even if not out loud, at least silently.
February 15, 2011 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #741166Pashuteh YidMemberIt seems a davar pashut that menschlachkeit demands one say GS to anybody one meets, lest one think religious Jews are unfriendly.
The same would apply in an office. One can’t only talk abot work related matters. One must be friendly and ask where are you from, and say Oh, that is a great city, I visited it one time and I saw XYZ, etc. One must be warm and outgoing to all. There is a big difference between friendly conversation and improper conversation. One can do the former without the latter.
February 16, 2011 5:12 am at 5:12 am #741167therealNAGMemberLA is officially the bomb!!
February 16, 2011 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #741168koillel101MemberZeesKite- which rabbi miller-R’ avigdor?
February 16, 2011 11:36 pm at 11:36 pm #741169ZeesKiteParticipantYou have another in mind. Maybe the famed Rav M’Yarma? I’m a R. AVIGDOR Miller fan. He knew the whole Torah, every Midrash, and them some. He was knowledgeable in all sciences, histories and all secular topics. He knew how to translate the world and its going ons through Torah eyes. We don’t have that today. Listen to his tapes today, and be amazed.
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