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should ppl rush to get married if they just turned 18???
Yes.
Dude…
boy or girl? if you can get married in this climate, i say go for it!
no
yes
maybe
What’s the point of your question
Are you trolling or do you really not know the answer to that?
Yes because its a mitzvah (not necessarily to be first.)
On average, people who get married younger have longer lasting marriages. Go for it before it’s too late.
For a successful marriage you’ll need maturity,confidence,decision making,communication and compromise skills. Each person is unique and I can’t say that someone young 18 yrs old is any more ready than someone 23 yrs old.
But the younger you are the more emotional, financial and family support you’ll need aside from a supportive, mature,happy,stable husband.
So I would say don’t date at 18 yrs old (could still be in 12th grade though finish up high school if necessary)
I tell girls to read Frum dating books to prepare yourself, go to seminary-you’ll have Chinuch,Marriage classes. It’s never to early to go to shuirim and you could listen on Torahanytime.com
Basically 18 yrs old isn’t too early as long as you’re well aware of what marriage entails.
If you can’t spell “school”, you should stay in school until you learn how to spell “school”. Then graduate then get married.
It is no muitzva for a girl to get married. It’s only a mitzva for the boy.
Rubberbands: You took the words out of my mouth…good job! if everyone will believe that (even boys) then the issue (crisis) can be improved and the mothers of 18-19 year old girls can breathe and not rush into a marriage
Rushing to get married, rushing to spell “school”… please slow down, and take the time to do both properly.
popa_bar_abba
Mildly Retarded, Eccentric Jewish Woman
“On average, people who get married younger have longer lasting marriages. Go for it before it’s too late.”
Popa- where’s the source to this?
Popa- where’s the source to this?
The latest US Census from 2010.
People who get married before 20 have average marriage of 52 years, with the median being 58.
People who get married between 20 and 25 have average marriage of 55 years, with the median being 53.
Kinda like saying people who live longer, have longer lives than those who don’t…
I have many friends who married at 19-20 yrs old have wonderful marriages B”H who I observed during my single yrs (I got married at 23). I also saw the stresses that girls go through on a daily basis-there’s real life involved.
You have to be ready and well prepared for it. I”YH I wish you Hatzlacha in making the biggest decision of your life!
Why rush 2 b first.. check out a few of your classmates’ weddings and get some good ideas for yours!
What’s the rush, why do they need to be the FIRST? Will that feed their ga’aiva? Isn’t the point of getting married to have a happy marriage with the right person, not to make a mark on their scorecard?
HolyMoe -“It is no muitzva for a girl to get married. It’s only a mitzva for the boy.”
Actually it’s a Chiyuv for both, not just a Mitzva!
From Shulchan Aruch.
I thought girls were not Jewish so how can they have a mitzva!
ha ha ha LOL what’s this gonna start off
I thought girls were not Jewish so how can they have a mitzva!
That’s true. Even the ??? ???? ??? ?? are only for Bnei noach, not for bnos noach.
People who get married before 20 have average marriage of 52 years, with the median being 58.
People who get married between 20 and 25 have average marriage of 55 years, with the median being 53.
First of all, they are pretty close.
Second of all, if you go by the average, then getting married 20-25 wins.
But that whole stat is not applicable today. That stat has to be dealing with people that are at least 70, usually well past that. When they got married divorce was not the staggering percent that it is today.
yoyo,
How’s this for a trial run at marriage. Try taking care of a baby for a day – feeding, changing, putting to bed, etc. Have the mother not too far away if something unusual comes up.
Marriage and family life is about helping/caring for others.
My opinion is that in marriage a couple must have common values and goals. You need to be clear on your values and what you want out of life. Then you can find someone to complement and/or supplement you.
People who get married before 20 have average marriage of 52 years, with the median being 58.
People who get married between 20 and 25 have average marriage of 55 years, with the median being 53.
First of all, they are pretty close.
Second of all, if you go by the average, then getting married 20-25 wins.
But that whole stat is not applicable today. That stat has to be dealing with people that are at least 70, usually well past that. When they got married divorce was not the staggering percent that it is today.
First, I made a mistake and the numbers should be reversed in the first category
Second, I made the whole thing up.
Chazal suggest getting married at 18. While this is not written in stone, the suggestions is neither a minimum nor a maximum. One could get married younger than 18 (and still fulfill this Chazal since they are married by 18) or a bit older (since it isn’t a strict halachic requirement.)
greatest -For men. For girls it’s 12.
yoyo said:
“mdg first of all im not the one! second i beleive ur wrong abt marriage…”
I realize that there are many opinions. I gave mine.
We can agree to disagree and still be agreeable.
If you get engaged during high school then depending on your school you may get kicked out. I know that that’s the case in my school. You’ll then have to get a GED if you ever want to get a degree or a decent job. And even that isn’t always considered as good as a diploma.
Either way, if the question is really “should she rush in order to be the first one” then absolutely not. If you’re getting married just for the sake of being first then you need a big reevaluation of priorities. If that’s just incidental and not the reason behind it then there is no way to say anything without knowing you personally. I don’t want to make generalizations. What I said here is based solely on the tone from your posts.
Good luck with whatever happens!
Oh and I just realized that you’re not talking about yourself. In that case, please change the word “you” to the word “one”. 🙂
yoyo,
I agree marriage is about trust, commitment, love, etc (all that stuff in the Ketubah). That’s is what I see as the “positive”. That’s the glue that keeps couples together. OTOH, there is stuff that un-glues, like all the stress, most notably raising children (which includes the parnassah needed).
Speaking of commitment, raising children, IMHO, takes more commitment and sacrifice than marriage. Marriage is (or should be) a two-way street, whereas with children, you give and give. Often without a thank you, and sometimes you get hostility for all your good efforts.
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