Rov, Rebbi, Teacher, Principal, Kiruv Person, Therapist, Life Coach, etc.?

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  • #595171
    Ofcourse
    Member

    To Whom do you give credit for the most positive change you’ve ever seen in someone you know well, who was either sinking Frumkeit-wise, or emotionally (other than a relative or close friend of this person) and was resistant to change?

    Was it a Rov, Rebbi, Teacher, Principal, Kiruv Person, Therapist, Life Coach, etc. or other?

    Did they do anything unique?

    Inspirational stories especially welcome.

    I listened to a talk show and they asked a famous Psychiatrist “Who could have helped ~ABC~ (a famous star who wasted their life with drugs, greed and negative influences)”?

    The Psychiatrist replied “Only ~ABC~ could have helped ~ABC~” (only the person themselves could have helped themselves, there has to be a desire to change from within). *ABC replaces the name

    I think the right person, can very much encourage the person to change, especially when there’s no money involved.

    #758854
    Ofcourse
    Member

    Is everyone clueless or just not interested?

    #758855

    BS”D

    I can’t tell you the name of the person who influenced me the most because he would shoot me if I revealed it.

    #758856
    Ofcourse
    Member

    600kilobear returns, no need for a name, but can you share what the person did that made them effective?

    #758857

    My Rabbeim, for me by far. Different things at different times. That’s for the human messenger. I’ve always felt Hashem doing it

    #758858
    Ofcourse
    Member

    tbt I’ve always felt Hashem doing it

    Yes, we all do, but there is a Shaliach/Shlichim involved. What did they do?

    #758859
    smartcookie
    Member

    The person definitely has to change himself. But sometimes it’s good to have a mentor to guide him and open his mind in the right direction.

    I personally, like to learn from my own experiences, or experiences from close family/friends, rather than professionals.

    #758860
    aries2756
    Participant

    After helping many young people I give THEM credit for allowing positive influences into their daled amos, into their lives and actually HEARING what they had to say while others where yapping in their ears with negativity and alternate lifestyle choices.

    It takes courage to push the negativity away and allow the positive energy to permeate your soul. It is a choice they make to reach out and take the lifeline. They don’t always do it right away and they don’t always do it with everyone that offers it. But it is they that have to make the step and accept the help.

    #758861
    Ofcourse
    Member

    aries, so you feel people have to realize they have a problem and commit to change, otherwise it’s a no-go, is that right?

    If yes, seems like you’re in agreement with the Psychatrist I heard on the radio (famous Psychiatrist, Keith Ablow, who wrote a book with Glenn Beck, Seven Wonders) who seemed very smart.

    #758862
    smartcookie
    Member

    Ofcourse- you aint gotta be too brilliant to figure that out. Nobody can be helped if they don’t want to help themselves.

    #758863
    Ofcourse
    Member

    smartcoookie Ofcourse- you aint gotta be too brilliant to figure that out. Nobody can be helped if they don’t want to help themselves.

    Yeah, but I think that there are very unique individuals who can very ~skillfully~ convince troubled people that there’s value in changing, even when they’ve given up hope and are very stubborn about not changing, without the person realizing that they’re being “worked on”. If it was all self-help, we wouldnt need Rovs, Rebbis, Teachers, Principals, Kiruv Persons, Therapists, Life Coaches, etc. I think some people have a special talent to bring about change in even the most stubborn cases. What Im asking is what these unique people do.

    Everyone starts by being a good listener, the especially skillful ones employ special tactics in adition to being that, I think.

    #758864
    aries2756
    Participant

    There can be 10 shelichim that approach the same person, and unless that person is ready and willing, no matter how good the sheliach is there is no way they can penetrate that soul. So yes, I am good at what I do, but I don’t take credit for turning “my kids” around, they get all the credit!!!

    #758865
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    A older friend / role-model.

    I was so captivated by this special’s midos and character, that I actually ended up emulating. Slowly, real slowly, but it gradually took place. So for those that think I’m untamed now..

    #758867
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    i just heard today that there was a very religious woman who just had a disease that she could not stop herself from stealing. She went to a thearpist that after a few years-Completely cured her! and now she helps other people. 😀

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