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I must travel daily by automobile. Local intra-city driving, with all its traffic, cars blocking roads, etc. causes me to have road rage. I drive fast, although I’m not the craziest driver. (I don’t speed around cars or weave through lanes.) How can I calm my road rage, so that I don’t feel angry while driving?
Road rage is just a form of anger. They have such a thing called anger-management programs. Get into one!
Perhaps you see other cars and drivers as just anonymous obstacles to your driving goals.
Would you be quite as angry if all the cars around you were filled with people you know, even casually?
Remember other drivers are people, just as those you meet in a store or on the street are. Cut them some slack.
Leave 15 minutes earlier.
Hi hershi.
Road rage is a tough one to get a handle on since there are so many bad drivers out there who do not do what we would like them to do. lol.
Equally, it is a great opportunity for a kiddish Hashem.
I heard a great shiur explaining some of the following:
1. If someone does not move fast enough when the light turns green, you dont have to lean hard on the horn; you are better than that.
2. If someone looks lost like they dont know the roads well or cant find the road they are looking for, dont crowd them or make them feel rushed; you are better than that.
3. If someone is going too slow for you and you want them to get the idea to move over and you run up on their bumper, keep a safe distance; you are better than that.
etc..etc…
It is not easy to avoid road rage, but a great opportunity to work on middos. Truly a challenging and great opportunity.
Remember: Anger and danger are just one letter different, so drive safely and calmly.
Hatzlacha to all of us who drive!
Leave early. You will find yourself much calmer if you are not running late or in a hurry to get to your destination.
How can I calm my road rage, so that I don’t feel angry while driving?
Watch a road safety movie
Bt Guy: Excellent comments and very thought provoking, especially about working on his middos, and remembering who WE are.
Get a car like mine; without a working horn!!
I know the problem, but perhaps from a slightly different side: I mostly get angry when walking.
I get extremely annoyed when my rights on the road are violated by other road users. That includes, for example, drivers failing to let me pass at pedestrian crossings, where they are legally REQUIRED to stop. Once, for example, a car flatly refused to stop and let me cross while I was already mad about something else, so I hit and broke the car’s window with something I had in my hand. Obviously the driver wasn’t too happy, but well, I put him in his place and went on – it’s his problem, if he doesn’t stop to let me cross (where he is required by law to do so) then he shouldn’t expect me to just be a sitting duck and smile at him – he should expect me to get mad and if he has to suffer the consequences then so be it.
In other words, don’t ever try to deny me my rights as a pedestrian, anywhere, ever, especially when I’m in a bad mood. I know my rights and I demand them. I am not a piece of dirt you can ignore and whose rights you can violate just because I am walking and you are in a car.
The worst of all are, in E”Y, the school minibus drivers. They feel they’re above the law – they’re allowed to break any law, ignore everyone else, treat pedestrians like dirt, while peddling around with their smelly ancient relics of vehicles. One time one of them almost ran me down at a pedestrian crossing (another incident), I hit the side of his van (it was empty), so the guy came out and started threatening to beat me…. for getting upset at him failing to stop where he was required to do so?! Again – what do these people expect, that I should simply give up my rights and ‘accept’ the fact that they continuously flout all rules and pretend I am dirt?
Well, ok, rant is over.
Anyway, here is the solution: let’s ALL just keep to traffic laws and all just be polite and courteous in traffic. Typically, the violent ‘road rage’ criminals are the traffic offenders themselves.
Something I personally enjoy now and then is watching police reality shows online (is this kefirah?). There are quite a few of them around the UK, Netherlands, Germany and other countries, though the UK ones focus more on crime while the Dutch ones focus on actual road/traffic violations. These shows really give you an insight into 1) what can go wrong, 2) why is this behavior wrong, 3) what can you do to change it. It makes you realize what risks you’re taking on the road, the things that can happen. You get to see it from another point of view.
For an example, search on Youtube (are we allowed to mention that name here?) for “ukpolice3”, there are tons of videos there (Motorway Cops, Traffic Cops, Brit Cops, Night Cops – also a couple of other things I don’t watch).
I think these shows should be required viewing, for at least 50 hours or so, for anyone who wants to obtain a license.
Maybe you should carry a “Keep back 200 Feet” sign.
lol @ The Chassidishe Gateskeeper.
After reading that, remind me not to deny you of your rights; or your lefts for that matter.
Drive slower.
When will the police enforce all traffic laws for Bicyclists?
They too are bound by red lights & also other traffic laws, but the unfortunate reality is that every time I cross at a red light, I have to check that no bicycle nor emergency vehicle is approaching before I can cross, and even when crossing a 1 way street, each time I have to check the inverse direction because of inconsiderate bicyclists.
Then when I take M34 bus on 34th street in Manhattan, I have never yet been on a bus which didn’t have to cross over to main lane, because invariably there is always someone parked or stopped in bus lane. Each person thinks his/her errand is so important so as to hold up buses, but sum total is total inconsideration & suffering to the travelling public.
Hi hershi.
On second thought, some road rage is justified and I wish they would manufacture a water balloon launcher or something that we can have automatically hurled from our car to the offending vehicle.
My three big pet peeves from bad drivers (and I just have to get this off my chest), are as follows:
1. People who are turning off a main road with traffic behind them, and they are going super slow, like the kind of crawl you make when you have run out of gas.
2. People on two or more land highways who are driving just fine until you have to get into their then to get to your exit. All of a sudden they have to speed up because “no one gets in front of them” lol
3. Selfish drivers, who if chas veshalom, cars have to move to the side of the road and stop to let emergency vehicles pass by, exploit that and try to cut ahead of as many cars as possible once traffic resumes.
A donut or water balloon launcher would be nice to have during those moments.
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