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eclipse, it seems that I may have misunderstood you. I thought “trapped in the house” was referring to being trapped in the marriage; but apparently, you were trapped in the house quite literally.
“It is the ABSENCE OF HALACHA which has caused so much Chilul Hashem.
I truly believe that the Torah is “d’roche’ha darche noam”.”
Glad to hear it. All too often, people who see themselves as taken advantage of by the system tend to reject the good with the bad and develop a disturbing (if understandable) lack of respect for the halacha and those who decide it. Glad to see you didn’t allow this to happen to you.
“Now unless you know my story personally(which you clearly do not),may I ask how you became so aware of exactly what happened?”
I did not and I do not have any idea of what happened in your life, and I apologize if I accidentally made it look like I did.
it is not by “default”that she is trapped but by “de FAULT oF” the powers-that-be who refuse to believe her.
Beis Din can’t “believe her” because she said so, if her version of events is disputed, in the lack of evidence proving the contrary. Beis Din has rules of evidence that it must abide by, not “believe” or “not believe” someone based on their word alone.
mw13:It’s all good now.:)
So right,I have no energy left for this.I hope someone else gives it to you over the head though,no offense.
Eclipce, sometimes a woman is entitled to seek a divorce.
huh?
mdd: Depending on the circumstances of an individual case, of course.
Read HindaRochel’s post again,fellows.
What about? As mdd and others have pointed out, dissatisfaction with the marriage, by itself, is not a valid reason to grant a divorce.
This thread makes me so sad. Its literally making me cry.
I’m thank Hashem every day for my wonderful husband. And I cry for those like eclipse (who thankfully seems to have a happy ending) and for those who are trapped.
Beis Din has a lot more power and unfortunately, not all of them are truly kosher.
SoRight, if someone comes to you and cries that they are in trouble, you say, how do I know you’re telling me the truth? I don’t understand why you feel like you are fighting a holy war over here against a victim of that circumstance?
HaLeiVi: I said as a legal matter in a court a he said/she said situation is not a basis for a legal determination. This is basic Beis Din (or even secular court) process anywhere.
a woman once came to r’ moishe and told him her husband was killed in the war and a rov was matir her and now he was found alive. r ‘moishe said thats impossible because he would have had siyata dishmaya. thats what a aguna is i think.
If a husband abuses his wife — it is a valid reason for seeking a get. If she just decided to get divorced and look for a cooler fellow to get married to — it is not a valid reason for getting a get.
“What about? As mdd and others have pointed out, dissatisfaction with the marriage, by itself, is not a valid reason to grant a divorce.”
For the guy to divorce his wife,it most certainly IS enough according to the Torah. Apperntly even if she turns out to be a lousy cook, it is enough.
mdd, I know of one case like that. And the husband was a mentch, freed his wife (who ended up marrying a non-Jew) and was blessed to meet a wonderful woman. They now have a beautiful daughter together.
That’s it. ONE case. 99.9999% of divorces are wanted.
Verbal abuse is often hard to prove. Problems in a marriage are often hard to prove.
What does a man have to gain by trapping his wife in a marriage she doesn’t want? Absolutely nothing but pain to both of them.
Sometimes it is worth being a Moredes.
Take that as you may.
SoRight?It’s your serve.:)
GAW, I agree.
gavra, Rambam writes that Beis Din can beat a moredes until she conforms and complies.
Sometimes it is worth getting beaten by Beis Din, or for the Ra’avad, starve.
Besides, I don’t think that will actually happen in the here and now. When Moshiach comes, he will create Shalom.
Unless you know of a case where Bais Din has beaten someone for not willing to comply (I was going to use a stronger term, but thought it might be blocked)?
The point being, if its an issue that she can be given a beating for, it isn’t a fire you want to play with or encourage, even if Beis Din doesn’t have the enforcement powers in today’s golus that they are legally entitled to.
Once again:
Sometimes it is worth getting beaten by Beis Din, or for the Ra’avad, starve.
And yes, in certain cases it should be encouraged. Health of the wife from STDs, for example, which a Bais Din may have no clue or may disbelieve.
What does a man have to gain by trapping his wife in a marriage she doesn’t want?
Power. A feeling of importance.
1.Retaliation for what he worries will affect his image/status.
2.Anger over the loss of a situation which was working very well for him.
3.”Proof” that he is normal and she is nuts(which he will try to show by making her nuts) and he just wants to protect the poor kids from her shrewish clutches.
And what about some (repeat: some) evil ex-wives who indoctrinate father-hatred in their children, keep their children as much away from their loving caring father as possible, use goyish courts in violation of halachic rules on monetary ownership to squeeze and steal every possible penny from her ex-husband in the form of alimony and child support?
Having gone thru every word of that,I can only say NEITHER PARENT should do that to the other.Even though the kids eventually come around…YOU NEVER GET BACK THOSE PRECIOUS YEARS.
And what about some (repeat: some) evil ex-wives who indoctrinate father-hatred in their children, keep their children as much away from their loving caring father as possible, use goyish courts in violation of halachic rules on monetary ownership to squeeze and steal every possible penny from her ex-husband in the form of alimony and child support?
What about them?
(I know, I’m setting myself up)
Oomis,SJSinNYC and others, there is such a thing as Halocha, which is the Will of HaShem Isborach. According to it, men and women do not have the same rights and obligations when it comes to marriage.
As far as divorcing one’s wife because she burned the food goes, we pasken that it does not apply to zivug rishon.
Oomis,SJSinNYC and others, there is such a thing as Halocha, which is the Will of HaShem Isborach. According to it, men and women do not have the same rights and obligations when it comes to marriage.
What is this refering to?
As far as divorcing one’s wife because she burned the food goes, we pasken that it does not apply to zivug rishon.
Which further demonstrates, there are specific halachas when a person (husband or wife – each their own set of laws) MAY or MAY NOT divorce (or demand one).
A man who refuses to give his wife a divorce in order to hurt her is proving exactly why she deserves to be free of him.
Oomis,your whole approach is wrong: if she does not want to be married to him, why would he try to keep her? If she is not entitled to a get according to Halocha, she is obligated to be a good wife to him. Stop putting forth your convoluted arguments.
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