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A passerby at the Howell Common shopping center outside of Lakewood, saw a.baby locked in a car , and the baby was in severe distress from the heat. He managed to shatter the window and res he the baby
The . mother, identified as Orthodox, was arrested when she returned from shopping.
She was very fortunate to have avoided a tragedy thanks to the ahi k action of the stranger.
PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE A CHILD IN A LOCKED CAR!. It does not take long for the heat to rise to fatal levels
LS – Not just locked cars, even if it’s unlocked! Kids can’t open the doors. Don’t put kids’ lives in danger!
There is an app from kars for kids that bluetooth connects to your car and anytime you leave the kar [:)], it beeps to warn you not to leave your kids there.
You don’t really think she realized that the baby was in the car, do you?
This was almost certainly a case of Forgotten Baby Syndrome. Google that term for more info.
I didn’t know that Kars4Kids had a reminder app, but I did see that recently Waze added such a feature. I don’t know how well these reminders will work. If they become part of the routine, they might end up being routinely ignored.
The best thing is probably to put something you need, like your phone, in the back seat near the child.
Actually you can even leave your phone in the back seat if you don’t have children with you.
Excellent ideas, Kapusta, (unless you’re using your phone for navigation).
DY: from the article I read it seemed like it was intentional. She had another two kids with her and did some shopping. When she got back to her car she immediately asked where her baby was. She was likely stressed out and the baby was sleeping at the time so she did something extremely stupid and dangerous.
Cases of Forgotten Baby Syndrome usually involve changes in routine which on the surface this doesn’t appear to be the case here, but I truly hope I’m wrong.
What confuses me is why the father refused to have the baby checked out at the hospital when they returned the baby to him.
Perhaps the baby no longer needed it but the emergency personnel are required to offer
Mammele: “Hevei dan es kol haadam l’kaf zchus” I am sure the mother is suffering enough; let’s not add to her suffering by maligning her.
Likelihood is that she did forget the baby, and remembered when she left the store, and that’s why she asked where the baby was.
LU: I really would like to be Hevei dan es kol haadam l’kaf zchus. I am sure the mother is agonizing over this. But you have a 13 year old and 7 year old with you in the store and none of you realize the baby is not with you? (News report of the Howell Patch.)
DY -“I didn’t know that Kars4Kids had a reminder app, but I did see that recently Waze added such a feature. I don’t know how well these reminders will work. If they become part of the routine, they might end up being routinely ignored.”
How true! They have car seats with alarms built-in, but they’re not cheap!
There is a product called BabyAlert.info
It consists of a mat and 2 electronic pieces.
It only costs 50 dollars. It seems to be the safest, cheapest product – out there!
I hope they cover their mouths when they cough.
Once we’re minding their business, I figured I’d take the next step.
Really, it’s wonderful that you brought up this issue. The more we are reminded, and the more we can discuss ideas to prevent it, the less likely it is to occur again.
I just don’t think it’s right to discuss the individuals in the story, and to assume the worst.
B”H there was a good outcome here, unlike the (at least) 28 other cases this year where unfortunately the child passed away.
+1 DY
There is an organization called “KidsAndCars”. They have a .org website with information and articles about this, including a Pulitzer Prize winning 2009 Washington Post article, which very much informed my opinion on this when I read it several years ago.
I will quote one line from the site, which I think is relevant to this discussion, and even more so to some of the disturbingly ignorant comments on the YWN news article.
“…blaming them only deepens the heart-rending impact of these incidents for families who are already overwhelmed by guilt and grief.”
DY -“I will quote one line from the site, which I think is relevant to this discussion, and even more so to some of the disturbingly ignorant comments on the YWN news article.
“…blaming them only deepens the heart-rending impact of these incidents for families who are already overwhelmed by guilt and grief.”
I agree! But why isn’t there a Kol Koray about products like BabyAlert.info? Everyone should own one! And No, I’m not a distributor.
Health -so start one instead of blaming others for not doing so.
Daas Yachid:
“Once we’re minding their business, I figured I’d take the next step.
Really, it’s wonderful that you brought up this issue. The more we are reminded, and the more we can discuss ideas to prevent it, the less likely it is to occur again.
I just don’t think it’s right to discuss the individuals in the story, and to assume the worst.”
Shkoyach DY! People forget that we are dealing with real people here. The fact that they were in the news does not make it okay to discuss it. According to halacha, it is assur to write news that is Loshon Hara, to read it, or to even believe it, and certainly not to repeat it or add to it.
LU -“Health -so start one instead of blaming others for not doing so”
I’m not in charge of making Kol Korays, but it might get back to them if s/o relays it to them!
For s/o who likes giving e/o Musser, you should start being Dan me L’caf Zecus of why I posted on this topic!
Why did you post on this topic?
I don’t know why you think I enjoy giving mussar. It’s actually one of my least favorite Mitzvos! The only two Mitzvos that I can think of that I enjoy less are Kibbud Av V’Eim and davening b’zman.
Is there an app to remind you not to open your mouth when you are taking a shower so as not to drown?
Goq, read up on it; you’ll see it’s not comparable.
i dont have kids to leave in the car so i dont need to worry about this b’h.
The Goq- DY is right. It is a common occurrence – one that can and does happen to anyone, and I think that I have heard that it has become much more common recently. And it is quite dangerous. And I feel terrible for anyone whom it happens to – can you imagine having to live with that for the rest of your life??!! So it definitely is something that we should take measures to try to avoid. But at the same time we have to be careful to do it in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone who is already suffering more than enough.
Sorry lilmod i feel way worse for the child than the parents.
I think a lot of these occurrences can be attributed to multitasking because if you have a large family there is so much that needs to be done you try to accomplish many things in one trip and you can lose track of your child.
It’s not a competition. You can feel bad for both, and therefore not cause them unnecessary anguish.
Again, please read up on it; there’s been research on this, and the experts’ opinion seems to be that it’s not a matter of negligence, it’s the way the human brain operates.
IMHO, I believe there is an increase in these incidents due to airbags. Years ago you there were no restrictions on having the car seat on the front bench. Once the rules changed that are not allowed to have the car seats in front ‘forgotten babies” have increased. As I have posted previously in response to other articles just put something in the seat with the child (tallis, seforim, purse) that you will need when you exit the vehicle.
When you “punish” a parent who made this mistake, you are automatically also punishing her child and other children that suffer from their mother being punished.
How does punishing the mother help anyone? It hurts everyone, most of all her children.
iacisrmma -“As I have posted previously in response to other articles just put something in the seat with the child (tallis, seforim, purse) that you will need when you exit the vehicle.”
And like I’ve posted previously also – That’s way not enough! Those things can be forgotten also!
You need to get products like BabyAlert.info or BabyAlert itself!
iacisrmma -“As I have posted previously in response to other articles just put something in the seat with the child (tallis, seforim, purse) that you will need when you exit the vehicle.”
And like I’ve posted previously also – That’s way not enough! Those things can be forgotten also!
You need to get products like BabyAlert.info or BabyAlert itself!
I’m not sure why you think that wouldn’t be effective. If something will be needed when you leave the vehicle, you won’t forget it.
Technology is great. So is common sense. I can speak from experience having been given the Brocha of a large family. B’H we did not experience the ‘forgotten baby’ issue. If we were both in the car and the ‘baby’ was sleeping , one of us stayed with the sleeping child while the other shopped. If we were were not together we did leave something on the bench with the child to make sure we would have to look at the bench before exiting the car.
DY: “I’m not sure why you think that wouldn’t be effective. If something will be needed when you leave the vehicle, you won’t forget it.”
I’m not an expert on the topic, but my guess is that it depends on the person. There are people who are very spacey and are capable of forgetting anything! ADHD personality -types seem to be very common nowadays (not that I can compare to any other generation – I just know that today they seem to be quite common).
lu: I understand people are “fartumult” and can forget anything. However, if someone is learning in BMG and is supposed to drop his child by the “baby sitter”, then leave his hat, jacket, seforim etc which he will need in yeshiva. If someone is going to work put your briefcase or lunch or (fill in the blank). In either of those scenarios I doubt the person will forget those items.
The most recent case is bothersome to me since according to at least one news report she had 2 other children with her (a 13 year old and 7 year old). Where were these children sitting in the vehicle? Were either of the children sitting on the same bench with the baby? IF YES, why didn’t they say something? If not, why not have one of the other children sit next to the baby as a way to remind yourself that the baby is in the seat?
The other kids may have been dropped off by someone else and met the mother in the store.
Iacisrmma, please reread the above posts from Daas Yachid:
“I just don’t think it’s right to discuss the individuals in the story, and to assume the worst.”
“There is an organization called “KidsAndCars”. They have a .org website with information and articles about this, including a Pulitzer Prize winning 2009 Washington Post article, which very much informed my opinion on this when I read it several years ago.
I will quote one line from the site, which I think is relevant to this discussion, and even more so to some of the disturbingly ignorant comments on the YWN news article.
“…blaming them only deepens the heart-rending impact of these incidents for families who are already overwhelmed by guilt and grief.”
There are halachos about reading news, believing news, and repeating news. Please remember that you are talking about real people. You would not talk this way if they were here in front of you. They may very well be reading this, or others who know them may be reading it. You do not know the details (and have no reason to believe the details were reported accurately), and you have no right to judge.
Janette Fennell, president and founder of Kids and Cars, a nonprofit focused on improving child safety around cars, recommends these 7 tips that every parent should follow:
1. Look before you lock.
Open the backdoor and look in the backseat to assure that everyone is out of the car (even if you think you are childless).
2. Keep something you need in the backseat.
Put your cell phone, briefcase, computer, lunch, ID badge, left shoe, or anything essential to your daily routine beside your child.
3. Travel with a furry companion.
4. Always lock the doors.
Even if the car is in the garage, keep the doors locked to prevent curious children from getting into the car.
5. Put the keys and fobs away.
Kids might want to play with keys and be able to get into the car without parents knowledge.
6. Have a plan with childcare provider.
If your child does not show up to daycare or school without prior notice, someone should call to locate child.
7. If you see something, do something.
If you see a child alone in a car, do not hesitate to call 911.
Daas Yachid, you mean it CAN happen to me even though I think I’m childless? What if I’m also husbandless? and carless? Can it still happen to me?
I didn’t write that, but I assumed it meant even if you think you didn’t take a child with you. Poor wording, IMO.
I know. j.j.
DY, thanks for bringing those practical tips.
j.j.
I wasn’t sure, after you took my turtle post seriously.
LU and DY: I am not judging or assuming anything. As yourselves, Health and others want…that this should never happen again. I don’t believe in a “technological” solution to this issue even if one already exists. I have been espousing what DY quoted in item #2.
However even if you think it is Loshon Hara, it is Loshon Hara LTOELES and is muttar. You don’t want me to believe the news stories…fine. Then I guess I shouldn’t believe that she was arrested for child endangerment either.
I don’t see the toeles in associating the important safety issues with a specific story.
I also don’t think you should be convicting her in the courtroom of your mind based on a news story.
Iacisrmma: In order for Loshon Hora to be considered l’toeles halachically, there are many conditions. Those conditions are not fulfilled here.
DY -“I’m not sure why you think that wouldn’t be effective. If something will be needed when you leave the vehicle, you won’t forget it.”
Some people are out of it, some are very tired. This can tribute for s/o to forget a kid even when you won’t forget the purse, especially if the kid is sleeping!
Also, you have one purse, but you can have more than one kid in car seats!
Nothing is foolproof, but products like BabyAlert.info are much better than things like purses!
I don’t see where I “convicted” the mother of anything. I never said she w as guilty of child endangerment……I said arrested which is far from a conviction.
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