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Must i prepare shalach monos for all my recipients or can i recycle whAt I receive from others? would that be unethical or NERDY
omg please!! do whatever you like!! I recycle all the time with the food I don’t like and people don’t care or think it’s nerdy. don’t worry.
It’s unethical and nerdy, but useful.
Unethical? lol
Just make sure you take off any card or name on the shalach monos. Also it’s better if you don’t recycle it exactly as is but change it somewhat.
Oh I do it every purim. A family member of mine is a teacher who receives many bigger and nicer mishloach manos (correct pronunciation btw) from students. There they right out the door to a Rebbi of mine or someone that I want to give a nice one to. Sometimes ill mix and match and make something nice out of a few too. But yeh make sure the card isn’t still tacked on.
think of more than just the card. sometimes the box or little shopping bag may have your name written on it.
At first I LOL-ed (L-ed-OL?). But now I’m thinking that it really is a pretty good question.
The Gemara tells us some classic cases of Geneivas Da’as. They all share a common denominator – they cause someone to be grateful for something you really didn’t do for him. One example: Someone comes to your house and he sees you run to the wine cellar and come up with a rare, expensive bottle of wine and open it up and pour him a glass. He thinks you opened it in his honor, and he is grateful and feels honored. What he doesn’t know is that you open up a bottle like this every week. “Taking” his gratefulness is therefore Geneivas Da’as.
From here it would seem that “recycling” shalach manos is a problem, or as marbehshalom put it – unethical.
However, the Gemara also says that when the person receiving the honor is simply fooling himself into believing it, then it’s not your problem. So, let’s say it was a normal bottle of wine, and it’s pretty common for someone to open a normal bottle of wine on Friday night, then you don’t have to worry about the fact that this guy has a big head and will think that you are doing it special for him, because as the Gemara says, “he is tricking himself.”
I think that it is fairly common for people to recycle gifts, but in a certain context. You might recycle to a regular friend an extra special shalach manos that you got from someone else, but you probably wouldn’t recycle shalach manos for a teacher you are especially close and grateful to. It really makes a difference who you are giving to.
My official CR p’sak: If it is someone to whom people would consider it normal to recycle, go for it. Just make sure they won’t find out (because that would be awkward). But for someone like a teacher or a really close friend, someone whom if you would tell people you recycled shalach manos to him/her, they would give you a look, to such a person it is quite possibly geneivas da’as to recycle to, and you shouldn’t. And it would be nerdy too.
Geneivas Daas? Who has Daas on Purim? Anyway, as long as he appreciates your gift, that’s what matters on Purim. Nobody who is properly besimcha really cares if it’s recycled or not.
just make sure the other person leaves before giving it to someone else
and dont give it to someone that knows the person you got it from and will eithor get the same thing or give it back to them.
there are a lot of ppl that recycle but i wouldnt take the chance
maybe i will when i have more than 50 to give
I dont think it is unethical or nerdy. In fact, I think it is a great idea if the alternative is throwing it out. All unwanted healthy foods go to those who appreciate alfala sprouts, celery soda and organic carrots. Junk food goes to all the kids in the neighborhood, as much as they can carry away they can have, homemade cakes, pastries, salads, meat sanwiches and the like, unfortunately we can not recycle due to kashrus standards all around (it is tough to keep track if we are recycling a chocolate cake from someone who is not makpid on chalav yisroel to someone who is for example). Those come with me to work and my non jewish coworkers enjoy it for lunch on shushan purim.
I decided that I’m not so sure about what I wrote. I will ask my rav and post his answer.
Okay, my rav says I’m wrong. You can recycle all you want.
No ethical conundrum after all? 🙂
On Purim, my boys are allowed to eat 4 of the nosh they collect. On shushan Purim, we put everything onto the table and select 4 noshes to keep and we put everything else (not homemade) into a huge basket and bring it to a hospital for nurses and outpatient children and parents of inpatient children to enjoy. This idea came to me from all the times I was with my little one in different hospitals in different neighborhoods and states and felt lonely and hungry and sad. (thank you to the strangers in the hospital last pesach for sharing their food with me!)
OneOfMany – Nope. Can’t promise it isn’t nerdy though 🙂
In my house, we dump all the food in a pile and when we run out of our own mishloach manos, we start stuffing new bags. Otherwise, we don’t recycle. Is that nerdy?
That’s very classy.
*phew*
yitayningwut, you can recycle all you want, but don’t give it to me for your mitzva because you would not be yotze.
cherrybim – why not? you’re not my friend?
yitayningwut, you can recycle all you want, but don’t give it to me for your mitzva because you would not be yotze.
Why wouldn’t he be yotze?
There is no reason you shouldn’t recycle. In the end half of it gets given away anyway because of Pesach!
“cherrybim – why not? you’re not my friend?”
No, I’d love to be your friend. But, it’s me, not you.
For whatever reason, I don’t really appreciate recycled shaloch manos. I put a lot of effort into preparing and giving shaloch manos and people really feel good when I give it to them and enjoy the food which I prepare. You won’t find my shaloch manos being recycled.
For the actual mitzva of shaloch manos, the recipient must feel good about it. In other words, you are not yotze if you give a niggardly shaloch manos to a choshuv or wealthy person because he expects better.
So, while I will accept your recycled shaloch manos, don’t depend on me to be the one that you are yotze the mitzva with.
As long as it’s a nice mishloach monos, i have no problem getting recycled. And contrary to everyone else if you have any good food after Purim including home baked (as long as it is someone you trust) we are happy to take it. We’ve gotten some very nice mishloach monos that we knew were recycled and were very happy because they were nicer than what those people normally send. We are the people who actually enjoy your good food so your work and effort are not wasted.
Cherrybim- For the actual mitzva of shaloch manos, the recipient must feel good about it. In other words, you are not yotze if you give a niggardly shaloch manos to a choshuv or wealthy person because he expects better.
Can you give sources please. As i understand, whether you appreciate or not…the giver is yotze the mitzva.
If you get receycled from Yitay, its probably OK. His friends probably use hashgachos. But if its stuff that he bought and prepared, you have to be concerned that he just read the ingredients and paskened on his own what’s kosher, per the psak of his rav.
“give sources please. As i understand, whether you appreciate or not…the giver is yotze the mitzva.”
I’ve learned it in shiur several times over the years(mb). I am not holding in it yet this year, but I will try to get it for you: You need to give according to the status level of the receiver.
cherrybim – lol, ok.
How about making sure at least two of them are not recycled, just to fulfill the mitzvah, and after that, pot luck.
We dump whatever’s left Purim night, and all the packaged stuff that no one wants goes to Tomchai Shabbos, who does a pick up from a central location on Sunday, as long as it’s wrapped and with a proper hechsher.
“give sources please. As i understand, whether you appreciate or not…the giver is yotze the mitzva.”
As promised: See Beir Halacha – ?????? ????? ???? ????-???? ????
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I think it’s typical gneivas daas and ill tell you why, from personal experience. One of my rabbeim, one that the shiur didnt like very much, came into class the day after with a big bag. He proceeded to call each bochur up to the front to pick out a treat from the bag, from the mishloach manos he had recieved. Now, had all the things been candies or the like, then fine, who cares. But that wasnt the case. This rebbi was older, and didnt eat junk food. He gave away all the stuff he got from our shiur back to the bochurim. My family is not steady financially, but my mother goes the extra mile on purim, to show our hakaras hatov to our rabeim. You cannot imagine my horror when the bochur at the desk next to me picked out the fifteen dollar box of chocolates that my mother worked three jobs a day to buy for the rabbeim. I was never so insulted and disgusted, so under-appreciated. It was callous and wrong. Hu’rayya, I remember this bitterly nearly a decade later. Ya so, I think its wrong.
The only question is, would you have interpreted the story differently had he been a rebbi that you did like very much.
(You might be being facetious though; one can never tell with you. Poe’s Law applies.)
As promised: See Beir Halacha – ?????? ????? ???? ????-???? ????
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B”H doesn’t say one isn’t yotzei. He says “Nachon L’Hezaher Lchatchila”. Also that’s talking about a trivial shalach manos to an ashir. There is no definition of “davar pachus” nor “ashir”.
But you posken he isn’t yotze vadai.
cherrybim is a major machmir
I don’t paskin; I attend shiurim of Rabbonim and Poskim. The opinions I stated are not mine. The BH is giving you criteria for SM that is needs a feel good acceptance. If you know that a particular ashir is happy with a low grade SM, then you may be yotze; it’s subjective. There are other criteria for SM which are dependent on the receiver.
hah! i opened the door purim morning to 2 neighbors, i gave and received. a few minutes later, more neighbors showed up. lets just say that i got about 4 of the same shalach manos from my neighbors! I would imagine it was from one of my neighbors to everyone else who decided to give it to me! I never figured out who originally packed it!
cherrybim is a major machmir
Yeah I don’t practice “chumra” I practice the halacha.
yit- the same rebbi who would be callous enough to do what he did, did many other things that deserved our dislike. I happened to have shteiged a velt from his shiur, but this was really insensitive.
I attend shiurim of Rabbonim and Poskim. The opinions I stated are not mine.
Then quote your rabbanim and teachers. You quoted a vague and ambiguous B”H and stated “not yotze”…just sayin’.
“Then quote your rabbanim and teachers.”
I did. Why don’t you ask your Rav and let us know what he says.
Toi – That’s exactly my point. Maybe it’s because of all the other things he did that you saw this as such a callous thing, but had he been a great person otherwise, maybe you would’ve brushed this off and said it’s normal. That being said, I wholly empathize with you, as I’ve had similar experiences myself.
Toi – that was totally tactless. Though that doesn’t make recycling wrong. Obviously it shouldn’t be done in the face of the giver — or even in a way there’s a good chance the original giver will see it was given away.
Confirmed yesterday in shiur: you are generally not yotze if you give a minimal shaloch manos to a choshuv or wealthy person. And I would add, I expect more too.
The Biur Halachah is a chumrah, relative to the recipient. The Aruch HaShulchan (and many others) paskens that “manah” means an important portion, and even a kzayis or k’beitzeh isn’t enough. It has to be an honorable portion.
when recycling you manos hope you don”t get it back from a third or fourth person or worse it was what you sent the year before
Remember that Mordechai and Esther were the archetypal Parsim, with all that this designation entails when it comes to PARSIMony and recycling. Therefore, it is very much in the spirit of Purim to be as stingy as possible, and even to reuse the backs of cards that have your own name on them to attach to the sholoch munis that you pass on to the next guy.
Big Bear: That’s the spirit! Pass me a beer!
“The Biur Halachah is a chumrah, relative to the recipient.’
I heard from several poskim that it is definitive. And I understand that knowing that you are on the givers B or C list does not enhance the friendship nor camaraderie; quite the opposite.
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