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Thanks, ames. I really hope so. Only thing is, I wonder if someone who has no compunctions about reading other ppls texts would be careful abt shmiras halashon?
~a~
any suggestions?? Please help.
~a~
mods: Please post this so we can get it back to being not just the reply box. Thanks. 🙂
Random Question: Why does this happen?
anonymisss: Tell her that she better not tell anyone what she read (be forceful). Im not as sweet and nice as the rest of you I guess.
sorry, I dont think I’ll be around here much this week. 🙂 for your benefit, I never, ever, ever, check the CR in the morning.
Contrary to what aussie said, I would feel awful if I had to say anything like that to a 16 year old sister. She probably knows what she did wrong but curiosity overcame her, I’m just not sure why she wouldn’t put down the phone as soon as she heard you coming.
Explain to her that privacy is based on trust, and trust is a two-way street. Explain that here a trust was blatantly broken. Explain that phones can be password protected and you never put one on because you didnt think you needed one. Explain how more than anything you dont want to break that trust that both of you have, because it’ll hurt you more than it bothers her but if you feel its necessary you’ll have to do it. Explain that you would not go through her texts without her permission (why would you anyway?) and it would be just as bad if you did it to her, and she would also be hurt by it.
(I have no clue where that came from!) Good Luck, give us (well whoevers here, maybe I’ll check back for this) an update.
kapusta: Actually no. Most 16 year olds do not know when they do something wrong (or if they know they say it wasnt wrong). If you tell her some speech like that then she will probably go tell her freinds what she read and what you told her about trust and they will laugh behind her back. But I dont know her sister so if you think it will work go ahead.
aussie, depends. A 16 year old should know at that point what is basically right and wrong. They are adults according to Torah law, and not that far off from adult in federal law. A mature one would know, but then, how mature is a 16 year old whos reading someones texts?
anonymisss, what happened at the end? btw, how is that classmate? (is that the one who you mentioned a few weeks ago?)
sorry to push aside any other random questions, but does anyone know of any good books/authors? I like Mary Higgins Clark but I exhausted most of the ones I can get my hands on already, any suggestions for something along those lines? thanx.
kapusta: what type of book?
novel/mystery… you know Mary Higgins Clark/Mary Jane Clark type…?
Kapusta and aussies, I read what both of you posted, thanx.
FOLLOW UP:
I didn’t say anything to her this morning. Tonight, I took her out for a little, nothing major. Anyway, in the car, on the way back, I very nicely made it come up in the conversation. I said it SO, SO, SO nicely. Really. I said, “I was really upset that you read my texts last night. I trusted you much more than that. I did not think that I had to take my cell phone with me if I knew you were sitting right there. If it would’ve been someone else, maybe. But not you.”
You ready for this?????
Response: “I hear why you’re upset, but you have to do your part. If you don’t want people to read your texts, you should erase them.”
NORMAL????
~a~
anonymisss: wow! an ibur chuchum-smart alick!
ow
double wow!
very random question: when’s the actual drawing for oorah?!
i got my answer-oorah auction drawing is may 17th 2am!
Is she normal????
I did not lose it, I very sweetly explained that texts include personal information and people trust me with whatever info the texts might be about and they expect that no one else will ever see them. So it really bothered me that she read them.
Response: “Then you really should make sure to erase them.”
~a~
ames, yeah, i think it’s time;( I’m very disappointed because I really did trust her-until now. and I did explain that whatever she saw was private and that I would really like to trust her and expect that she won’t share any of it with anyone.
Do you think I said the right thing?
~a~
btw, jax, ames, and moish, thanx for the sympathy. I could really use it now;(
~a~
anonymisss: i think you handled it well, & didn’t loose your cool!
thanx, jax When I heard her answer, I started second guessing myself, thought I maybe messed up.. I never used to think she was like this, I don’t know;(
~a~
anonymisss, she has a point, but its not her place to tell you that, and shes still completely in the wrong. question: does she have a phone/texting?
kapusta, you really think she has a point??? and yes, she does have a phone w/ texting.
ames, I locked my phone;(
~a~
It came out funny there, but yes I do. Even though I think its terrible to go through someones things, its better to be prepared. I dont really delete my texts because theres nothing private to go through. I dont want anyone going through it, but no secrets. If you hadnt put a lock on your phone, I would tell you to just delete the texts that were personal but that wouldnt solve the contacts issue. If she ever tries it again she’ll hopefully get the point.
btw, hows that “former classmate” doing?
anyone have any good ideas for a book?
kapusta: not sure what you meant by that type, but i googled her. have you read anything by jodi picoult? my sister’s keeper is very good, one of the best though there are others.
It is probably as assur to read someone’s text messages as it is to read their actual mail. Halachically, people are entitled to their privacy. That being said, it is simply unwise to leave your cell phone where anyone can read you private stuff. They shouldn’t do it, but human nature is such that people WILL eavesdrop, read mail, look at your texts, open your bathroom cabinets, etc. They are wrong, but since when has that ever stopped someone who is so inclined?
kapusta, I hear what you’re saying about being prepared. I guess I learned the hard way;( btw, why did you ask if she has a phone?
and she’s doing ok, she’s in school now, BARUCH HASHEM! You can have her in mind when you daven;)
~a~
yes it is the random question thread… but it is still moderated and not all questions no matter how random will be allowed…
oomis, in my house, reading other people’s mail is unacceptable. Period. I would’ve thought that texts would fall into the same category.
Yeah, you’re all right. I was irresponsible.
~a~
anonymisss, I asked because I thought if she had something of her own to protect she would know what it feels like when someone invaded her privacy. Guess I was wrong. 🙁
btw, dont worry, I do. Keep the (good) updates coming.
btw (2), I’m probably going away for shabbos, if I do I’m not sure I’ll be around here until next week. Dont miss me too much.
kapusta: we will miss ya a lot! enjoy if you go!
Thanks kapusta;)
we’ll miss ya! Hurry back!
~a~
enjoy
Kapusta, are you back yet?
~a~
kapusta: yeah i’m waiting for you to get back 🙂
What happened to myshadow?
~a~
I’m back 🙂 I’m not sure how long I’ll stay I’m really upset about something and I cant stop thinking about it. Who needs help first?
kapusta: hey welcome back! what’s going on?! how can i help?!
oh yay jax AND kapusta 🙂 it’s a regular party.
kapusta: i know you probably misunderstood my post to mean i need your help. i’m ok, just missed you. so what happened?
thanx, I heard something last night, which I knew was happening, just on on such a big scale, and people are not realizing the ramifications of their actions, I’m ready to cry. 🙁
Jax, thanx, good to be back.
kapusta: bit of a confusing situation there, i’m not sure i understand what happened but i’m sorry 🙁 is there a reason you can’t give more details?
kapusta: yikes sounds tough!
kapusta, ;( I’m not sure I get the situation exactly but whatever it is, I’m really sorry to hear that you’re so upset. Any way you can share a tiiiiiny bit more?
~a~
AOB, I didnt realize you wrote the last comment that went through, I thought it was ames because on the homepage it said the last updated poster was ames. read that as I’m scared of you. 🙂 )
to get back on topic, now that none of my posts are going through, ames said somewhere that vanilla is a good anti-itcher for mosquito bites. Who discovered that? and why would someone think of putting vanilla on a bite?
same guy who discovered that aloe can treat burns. it’s a plant – they probably used it for medical purposes before they used it for food.
yea but this ones weird.
why are some people intimidating & some people just not?
AOB: It has a lot to do with the persons attitude and the way they approach you (also thier size and how they look)
is it true that if you get a misquote bite and ignore it for 5 minutes -it disappears?
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