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(and I have a pretty high tolerance level.)
kapusta, who tried to flatter you with that lie?
moishele howve you been
hey maybe get my name straight.
wow sorry that was rude of me
funny funny. What makes you think otherwise?
lol. hows your foot. or is that long over with
BYM, you’ve been out for a while, his foot is perfect, really. Right, moish? and nice of you to apologize, very mature.
~a~
kapusta, i don’t know – just from a couple of interactions we might have had.
Bais Yaakov, way passed that, thank god.
moish, cant imagine when… 😉 seriously, I do… (not that it changes anything)
glad to hear it moish.
BYM, arent you also in school?
shh…dont tell anyone.
technically, yes. literally, no, not now.
BYM coulda figured that out… 😉 I would call this the official hookey day but AOB left. I hope you have a good excuse.
to continue from further up on this page, she asked me if I want to get together one day, (to guess what?) and now she sent me a text and asked if I’m ok. Shes becoming overprotective of me. Help!
how about studying?
although i dont seem to be doing much of that now
kapusta, just saw your last post. so what’d you do about the text?
~a~
kapusta: i left the cr, but didn’t go to school. it is the official hooky day 🙂
are you sure you’re not being a little too nice to her, & not getting the message across that it’s annoying? (not that i particularly think you are, just asking)
kapusta: ignore the text then!
I didnt, I gave her a very bright, cheery answer and she text me like 4 more times (and then called me) and then asked if I want to meet her on sunday (for the second time) thankfully I was able to tell her that I’ll be away for shabbos so sunday, in case I’m still busy its not the best day for it. She asked me for a raincheck so I tried giving her the weather but it didnt work. daven that it rains every sunday until the end of the summer. (as long as shes in town) 😉
If she doesn’t stop soon, you and I are gonna have to become very creative. 😉
AOB, I want to be mean (in a way) but I cant be and if something like this comes out pretty good but not perfect, its not good enough. I want to tell her to stop driving me crazy, but she just doesnt get it!
thanx, everyone!
kapusta, you’re just too nice!
~a~
kapusta: I have a grewat idea. Tell ehr your feeling down becuase you have this freind who keeps trying to act like your psychologist and its really upsetting you because you dont want top insult her but it is really annoying and you dont know what to say to her. Then after she gives you an answer just say what she said you should say to her, or you can tell her and that girl is you and she will probably get insulted and not want to talk to you anyway. The first option is probably better.
This may sound mean but everyone at some point needs to deal with being insulted or told thier not wanted Ive had it more than once and im still alive.
kapusta: how about tell her sunday’s your homework day, lots of tests/finals/reports/have to study with friends(that’s not a lie right? you have school work!)…but you wish you could get together, just don’t have the time right now! hatzlacha!
kapusta: i don’t think it’s a good idea if you’re trying to get out of getting together with her but then being all nice & friendly while you are refusing because you feel guilty. it can really confuse the message you’re trying to give if you act all sorry for not hanging out with her. if you convey a clear message that she is bothering you, you’re basically saying what aussie said to tell her, in a less confrontational way.
Excuse my many typos
aussie, you’re very blunt. Not the first time I’ve heard this kind of advice from you. You’re probably not half as sensitive as most girls are;)
~a~
kapusta: i recently experienced a similar sitch–the best thing to do is just be nice but distant. just polite enough not to be mean, but just far away enough to send her a message of ‘please leave me alone.’ it took me awhile but it payed off in the end
i don’t think you should say “wish you could get together” if it’s not true. don’t act like you really want to, because then she will keep trying, thinking maybe you will be free the next time she tries.
Kapusta, I am of the school that says we always TRY (that ebing the key word) to not embarrass and offend someone else. Unfortunately some people do not get that they are intrusive and overbearing. You can either not respond to the person, ir always be “busy” when they text or call you. If the person makes you feel almsot like you are being stalked in a way, you need to be blunt and say, “You’re a nice person, but your personal remarks make me feel uncomfortable, and I really would appreciate it if you would try and refrain from making them. Please excuse me now, as I have studying to do.”
You cannot be responsible for how someone else acts, but you can be responsible for how you react to that person. If you want nothing much to do with her, do not encourage her by having a conversation.
anonymisss: Actually I probably would never say it straight out to someone. Im just saying what I think the best course of ation would be (even if i wouldnt follow it).
oh, that’s nice of you;) btw, How’ve you been? You’re not around so often these days.
~a~
anonymisss: Yeh im actually a very nice person i rarely insult people. im a bit down but otherwise fine.
I never thought you weren’t nice. People who don’t mind when others speak to them that way often tend to speak that way, straight up about things. More personality related than nice.
aw, I’m sorry to hear that. What’s the matter?
~a~
No I get insulted when people speak like that to me, but I get over it. People need to be insulted every once in a while it helps them realize there are other people in the world.
Nothing much I just lost some money so i was a bit upset but im alright now.
well, I’m back! great shabbos! dead tired so I dont know how long I’ll stay. I apologize in advance for this super long post.
aussie, shes a very nice person, normally (like when shes not coming after me.) She realizes what shes doing but shes not thinking so its happening more and more frequently. She wants to get a certain point across (something she wants me to do, (something she made up, completely ridiculous,) and shes after me for almost a year and I dont really enjoy doing stupid things (insert crack) so I keep on saying no and she keeps on saying yes. Anytime she brings it up, she says (basically as a formality) if you want me to stop, just tell me and I say stop, once, twice, three times and she continues.
Jax, do you really think I do my homework studying at all? jk, I do the biggies but she wouldnt believe me, she knows my type too well.
AOB, I want to stall her for as long as I can. She’ll be away next year and I dont think she would do it on the phone or through email if she wasn’t in town. Maybe she would try, but I could probably get rid of her then. and I never said I was sorry I couldn’t meet her; I just said I can’t.
BYM, tried that, doesnt work, see what I wrote to aussie, (too long to rewrite now 😉 )
oomis, she does not take no for an answer (see the end of my comment to aussie) It’s not really possible to avoid her because I see her basically every day. she is extremely intimidating (in this area) and will do exactly what she wants to get her point across. She comes across as Miss Know-it-all (sorry noitallmr, I’m sure, make that positive you aren’t related) and thinks she has given me a specific solution to my “problem” (thats what she calls it) except that she has very little knowledge (thats authentic, and applicable) so I brush her off (knowing that most of what shes saying (in regard to this) is completely worthless) and it doesnt work.
thanks everyone, your help is very much appreciated! 🙂
p.s. sorry, mod!
aussie, you have a point. I’d rather not be the one to do it though, I guess cuz i’m so sensitive so i can’t deal with hurting someone else.
and was that in AC? It’s pretty sad to lose money, especially when you haven’t got what to spare. or should we not discuss the lost money?
speaking of insulting: I think I insulted a friend of mine last week. The next day, I text her i’m sorry if i hurt u and good night and got no response. She NEVER EVER ignores me. I’m so worried, I really didn’t mean for her to be hurt and I feel terrible about it. What should I do? I feel horrible and I’m still obsessing over it.
~a~
what time is shekiya tonight?
For some it already was and for others it is yet to be – depends where you are
kapusta: i’m getting the picture now..well hatzlacha rabbah!
mroosinsehry: try zmanim.com for your area!
jax: thanx
myzmanim.com sends out a text however long before shekia you want it
I see everyone gave up on my issue. If I stop posting, you’ll know why 😉
Jax, thanx, I need it.
anonymisss, wait a few more days and then text her again. If she still doesnt respond then call her until she does. she’ll get the picture eventually. Hatzlacha!
kapusta: I sent a reply but it didnt get through.
kapusta, thanks for answering. Only thing is this isn’t exactly a typical friendship (can’t really explain, you might get it, kapusta. terrified of being identified) and I really don’t want her to feel pressure from me at all. I feel so, so, so guilty. I don’t regret what I said, only regret maybe if I didn’t say it in the nicest way possible. I can’t get it out of my head. It’s making me crazy.
~a~
thanx for trying. btw, check out general shmooze.
anonymisss: Im guessing she is a teenager (although I really dont know how old you are). My advice would be to give her a few days to cool off then call her back and arrange to meet up and discuss it or at the minimum apologize over the phone. Dont text it. That seems insincere.
she is extremely intimidating (in this area)
Kapusta, no one like this can intimidate you without your permission. Honestly, I know it must be hard for you to contemplate being super-blunt with her. Clearly you are a really kind-hearted person, but you are doing neither yourself NOR her a favor by not being more definite in your (what should be by now) demand that she cease and desist. If you truly do not want this situation to continue, I fear your only option is to make a point of avoiding her altogether (which apparently is not practical), or to tell her point-blank,”ENOUGH!!!! I have heard your tedious opinion on this and a thousand other topics, and I am no longer interested in hearing any more of them!” I suspect you won’t bring yourself to do this (as I probably myself would not do, because I am far better at giving advice than at taking it…), but the truth is, you have reached a point where this person is causing you stress and aggravation just by seeing her. It is not worth an ulcer. (I would go with PLAN A and just avoid being in the same room with her or taking her calls or reading her Text Messages).
oomis, she will bring it up and then say if you dont want me to talk about it, just tell me and I’ll stop. I can sit there and tell her (literally) 10, 20 times and she will continue as if I never said anything. (She is not ignoring me, just that line.) It’s also very bothersome that she has zero backing for what shes saying other than her opinion, (which in this area is pretty useless.) I have said enough many times and she refuses to listen.
kapusta: Let her talk. Just ignore her and start doing something else. Either she will get the hint and stop or miss it completly and keep talking.
aussie, tried that too, she took me on a walk once and threatened to walk home with me, thankfully I was supposed to get a ride with someone so I “couldn’t”
Is your real personality the person you are in the real world or the person you act like when you think your anonymous?
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