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A person asked me ….Is there a point where it is ok to give up on dating? …
This is a question that i thought i had an easy answer too… I said have betachon, daven, and the light is at the end of the tunnel…. until, the person asking this question said to me you never dated this long… You dont know how it feels to go to shul or a wedding and hear people say comments like iyh by you yet you feel no more hope… The more will treat you like a poor case the worse you feel!!!!
Any ideas?
NEEDIDEAS
“Afilu Cherev Chada Munachas Al Tzavarav Shel Adam Al Yimna AtzmoMin HaRachamim”
One should never give up, ever.
tell them to read garden of emunah!!
Yes. go out of your way to do good. then as soon as you can go to a talmud chucham who many people rely on. then ask him for a bracha. if your a girl then see the rebezion.
G/d bless you.
remind them…tshuas Hashem keheref ayin…things could go so fast…one week nothing doing..the next week you could be seriously dating and almost engaged..
If you are a man, you are halochically obligated to continue. If you are a woman, ask a shaila. Hatslocha!
mdd, are you saying a man can’t give up but a women may be able to?
Giving up shows a lack of Emunah. Taking a break shows you know when you need to take a break and relax.
Dating is stressful but it shouldn’t wear you out like that – could be you need to make a rule like at least 2 weeks between first dates, or something.
I think its ok to say that they aren’t going to actively “look” for a spouse. If Hash-m wants to send them one they will find each other. I dont know how old this person is but if they are in their 40/50s I dont think I would be giving them the emuna/bitachon speech. It is said that at the deppest point of despair that is when Hash-m comes in with the Yeshua, hopefully this person will find their yeshua soon.
Without the person knowing, say tefilla for him, ask for brachos for him, and try to get his name out there. Be’H he should find his bashert soon.
NEEDIDEAS
You should know that a number of older singles have found their spouses online using Jewish dating websites. You should strongly recommend that option to your friend. Hatzlacha and hopefully we will hear Bsuros Tovos Bkarov.
When to give up? When they are shoveling dirt onto a person, at that point, I would say, its truly too late.
But prior to that, there is always hope. Look at this week’s parsha; things looked pretty bleak for Hagar and her son, but at the last moment, her eyes were “opened up” (meaning, she saw a source of help that she had missed before) and all went uphill from there.
In specific regards to shidduchim, I heard in the name of a prominent Rosh Yeshiva (can’t recall the name, so I’ll leave it off):
Every one has a zivug, and it “belongs” to one person in particular. The trick is “finding” the person. But once the person “gives up” on “finding” the zivug, another person can come along and “claim” the zivug for themselves.
Bottom line.. NEVER give up hope.
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