- This topic has 7 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 14 years, 7 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
I remember watching a jewish video message online about this kid who wanted to spend some time with his dad but he was busy. That was a long while ago. – Recently, I read a family article in a Jewish paper that probably some can relate to, about a couple who are busy, and have a hard time connecting to their child at home. And so their child seeks attention elsewhere. The parents asked a frum psychologist for advice and he mentioned about giving more quality time to them and trying to communicate calmly. It was a good article
Any ideas how we can spend quality time with a child? (Besides taking them out for ice cream?)
Depending on the child: Play a board game together, Go to the park, Do grocery shopping together, go swimming, Baking. The list is endless. As long as you make the child important when doing a chosen task you will have gained quality time.
READ TO YOUR KIDS!!! This is one of the best ways to develop closeness with your kids. Read to them something that’s of interest to them.The book could be a story,factual information that’s interesting,whatever they like.Then talk with them about it-“How would you feel if that was you-would you act like so-and-so in the book did? “. Reading to your kids(whether age 2 or 10) is a springboard for talking with them about just about anything.
Try doing a jigsaw puzzle together with your kids. It’s great.
What we do is play board games Friday night, even in the summer. Yes it gets late….but the kids, and most of mine are teenagers, really enjoy it. And for the younger ones, we play on shabbos afternoon.
Time spent is the best investment you can possibly make in cementing a relationship with your child. Each child has diffeent needs, so you need to be flexible. One may want to go shopping to a mall, the other may want to eat out, the other may want to go driving. I have a 1/2 daf seder (using the Dial-a-Daf CDs) with my 14 year old, but not with his older brothers (who have 15 hour days in Yeshiva, as it is.
As long as the child in question knows this is his or her time, it will be banked for future reference. In one of the magazine suppliments that cam with either the Mishpacha or Hamodia Pesach issues, there was a story about a foster child that moves in with a family and its impact on the bio kids. Great story and very well written, but the prine line was from the social worker who tried to explain why foster kids need special handling.
As the average kid grows up, the parent makes periodical “deposits” in the affection bank. Attending a chumash party, sending a postcard to camp, ect. So when the occasional “withdrawl” needs to be made (disipline, saying no to a request, ect) there is what to draw against.
Foster kids often come on to the scene with a “deficit account” (negelct, abuse, zero self esteem, ect) so they need to be handled with care.
My point is, MAKE LOTS OF DEPOSITS (n the form of compliments and time spent) EARLY, so you have from what to draw from should the need arise
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.