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OK, lets take a (much needed) break from solving the world’s big issues.
I’ll go first:
(to the tune of The Adams Family)
Some follow a Chasidus,
But all adhere to tznius
The CR family!
The big issues we tackle,
Some comments raise your hackle
The CR Family!
Purim is here,
Pesach is near,
All day and all year
The Sem girls are returning,
The EY boys are glowing
Shidduchim are a rolling,
The CR Family!
Really Good! Well done!
Kol hakavod to:
Brilliant
Poet
Totty!
Don’t know the tune!
🙂 very cute.
the words are great but i dont know the tune so i could not sing it oh well.
Regular Grammen Niggun:
Purim is a Yom Tov for the Jews la, la, la, la
To enjoy a good few shots of booze la, la, la, la
So, put on your Purim hat – shtreimel or turban la, la, la, la
And fill up your glass with your favorite bourbon la, la, la, la
Make a L’chayim with alot of kavanna la, la, la, la
While trying to blur your havannah la, la, la, la
Of the difference between Mordechai & Haman HaRasha la, la, la, la
And be m’kayem ad d’lo yadah without a kashah la, la, la, la
Start with Wild Turkey 80 – very neat la, la, la, la
Then move along to Michter’s – a little more sweet la, la, la, la
Go up a notch to Baker’s – which has a great ta’am la, la, la, la
Finish with Booker’s – which explodes like a bomb!! la, la, la, la
Don’t get shikur with your shnapps;
You’ll get in trouble with the cops,
At the Purim Seuda you’ll be fine,
if you just stick with dry wine!
There is a mitzvah livsumei;
not at night, only by day.
Although you’re chayav to get shikur,
some hold you cannot do it with liquor!
Use your seichel, use your brain,
Even if you’re dressed like Barack Hussein.
Don’t think that it is no big deal,
Don’t get yourself behind the wheel!
If a kid wants to drink should you let him,
have some booze or even Kedem?
If you give him a glass or even a quarter,
Don’t let Ctrl Alt Del know, he’s a mandatory reporter!
So a freilichen Purim to one and all,
as we celebrate Haman’s downfall.
and the great event which did ensue,
The Yidden did kiy’mu v’kiblu!
Some poskim hold that shnapps is swell la, la, la, la
To fufill ad d’lo yadah as well la, la, la, la
Dry wine gives you a headache in der kup la, la, la, la
So, stick to bronfin cup after cup la, la, la, la
But, lamaaseh, you still have drink like a mentsch la, la, la, la
And not to plotz on the Yeshiva’s bentch la, la, la, la
So, be sure to drink plenty of water with each shot la, la, la, la
And to eat lots of holiptches straight from the pot la, la, la, la
there are many ways to get drunk
but if you mix alcohol your ship is sunk
stick to one type and youll be fine
if you want a good drunk do it with wine
if you want to take it up a notch
then you should try having some scotch
go with glenlivet it will do the job
but make sure not to throw up like a slob
“Some poskim” is not the same as all.
So wine is better, as I recall.
The mitzvah I won’t risk to lose,
that’s why I stay away from booze!
You say “a headache in der kup”,
(Where else would a headache end up?!)
I learned a remedy from my pa,
take four “Advil lo yada!”
I have a sister named Shulamit,
who really hates it when I vomit.
So I listen to my rov from shul,
who says to drink when your stomach is full!
BS”D
96 per cent is the very best
So much better than all the rest
While some say it tastes quite mean
It really keeps everything very clean
So if you brech some out onto the floor
You can go on and have even more
Because your vomit is so pure
It is the best cleaner for that very same floor!
BS”D
Purim is the day for matnois le’evyoinim
But Fetter Shmiel gibt ochet tzi ashirim
Even if you are the biggest gvir
You can get assistance throughout the year
Make sure you do everything in cash
And dress like you just got out from a smash
Put your business in your elte baabe’s name
That’s how you play the Hymish Welfare game!
The bit about Fetter Shmiel,
does not belong in a Purim shpiel.
Gezel Akum’s stealing money,
something which is not so funny.
600kilo, you make me nauseous.
Of zekts un neintziger I would be cautious.
It’s really awful, to be frank,
I’d rather have Eau de Javel Blanc de Blancs!
BS”D
Eau de Javel is best for the frummest
Even if the taste might be the krummest
After all it’s under Badatz, or even Rav Landa
And it makes you very white, like the center of a panda!
You can use it also to clean the floors
But drink it only behind closed doors
After all for many it is quite a reach
To drink common household bleach!
For whether you refer to it in English, Ivrit or French
It tastes like getting hit in the stomach with a battleship wrench
Bleach really is a great disinfectant, but from the label we see
It should never be taken internally!
But first hand knowledge of bleach I have not attained
For if I tried it, few of my organs would have remained
The worst I have ever tasted was sour wine
But I know that sweet is the taste of turpentine!
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