Proper etiquette for bochor speaking to girl’s parents

If you really want to make a good impression, the best thing to do is to take some and put it in your pocket for later.

It shows that you’re sensible.

Or if you really wanna steal the show, ask if they have any leftovers they’re trying to get rid of.

Back when I was dating 30 years ago, we had the same question. Some guys did; some didn’t. However, I do suggest for the girl’s parents, especially if the boy just traveled from Lakewood, ask if he needs to use the lavatory. That may be more important then the candy, fruit or soda.

The best advice: honestly it doesn’t really matter.. What matters is that you pay attention how the parents interact between themselves.. Look out for a controlling shviger, angry father, or other middos raos. I’m telling you spend as much time as possible with the parents, cause it’s not always noticeable right away. You’re basically marrying your in-laws, so you need to date them thoroughly.

While the girl is getting ready, see if the future shver will not only offer you orange juice, but also if he will also offer to pay to fill up your thirsty car with gas so that you won’t risk running on empty during the date. If ‘yes’, then he could very well be your sugar daddy for indefinite Koillel.

Dr. E- that’s only if he comes with a fleet of cars and lots of gifts for the girl and her family. And the girl should be offering to water the cars. He should avoid eating what the father offers, however.

Winnie-

LOL. very timely joke

BTW I find it annoying that you keep on asking without regard for my responses…

It depends on which community you are from. In my community standard practice is to have food on the table which nobody touches during the meeting. The first time you take a drink is when you drink l’chaim.

Ive been told not to eat. One girl i went out with i noticed the mother wasn’t respectful to the father (wasn’t looking for it, just noticed it.) We did some research and found out it was all ok, not explaining for privacy reasons.

Another girl i went out with had very nice parents and always gave us cold water bottles when we went out.

Was once leaving girls house with her and said to her mother, “wow, the challah really smells good” cause i try to be nice. The girl smiled and blushed, she made the challah.

I don’t expect the boy to do that as I never insisted that my children do that.

Joseph: your question (in bold font) said “very loud” not just loud. I never made my children say brochos very loud. They had to be audible to others but not “very loud”.

I recall hearing a maaseh amuhl, where the bochur came from a plain yeshivishe home. So, he only had access to the family 15-seater to pick up the girl (who came from from a wealthy family) for the first date. The Shadchan suggested that the girl pick up the guy from his house, as she owned her own b’kovidikke car. When she arrived to pick up the bochur, he was still eating his Melaveh Malka in the kitchen and was not yet ready. So, she sat with the mother in the Dining Room, with the mother offering her cookies and tea. And if I recall correctly, the girl DID eat the cookies at the time. Fast forward 10 years, the bochur’s family ended up giving them the old van and B”H it’s now half filled with Yiddishe kinder!

Joseph: Yes.