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Lesson 1:
The real world doesn’t feed you liquids through a bottle. Stop lying there like a little lump of human and get a job.
Lesson 2:
You “can’t” walk? You just don’t WANT to walk. You have feet, you lazy little infant.
Lesson 3:
You are not entitled to a “blankie” just because you’re cute. There is nothing free in life, if you want a blankie you’ll have to work for it.
Lesson 4:
In the real world, if you spit up on your boss you get FIRED.
Lesson 5:
Your inability to communicate and manipulate objects is not my problem. Deal with it.
Today’s newborns are convinced that they are entitled to be fed, clothed and even have their diapers changed without doing anything for it! How are they going to handle growing up?
Imagine that. Rivka Umeinu got married at three!
Dear tiny little lump of human,
Wecome.
Lesson 1:
In His infinite wisdom the culmination of the B’riya was a wondrous creature!
She will feed you and carry you with her wherever she goes. She will provide your needs graciously, free of charge.
If you spit up on her, wake her at 1, 2, 3, and 4 a.m., and get the crib sheet dirty (again), she will continue to care for you and cherish you.
If there are any problems, cry, and she’ll attend to them.
And when you turn into a full grown mature human she will continue to love you.
Rejoice! This is only the first of many wondrous gifts He has prepared for your enjoyment.
RY… quite good..
And oh.. you haven’t met my “boss”. She knows how to push the buttons!!!
All babies must know how to file their own taxes by their first birthday.
Claiming as dependents? Maybe when you’re eleven months. Make it to a year and that’s another story.
Golfer +1
Yeah. It drives me bonkers when people criticize kids’ age-appropriate behavior. My six-year-old or eight-year-old will act up and one of my in-laws will say that I should get strict with my child, and ask “When’s she going to stop? When she’s 20?” And I’m like, “Didn’t YOU change your behavior between kindergarten and college? She will, too.”
Well, I think it. If I said it then I’d get in trouble.
MRS PLONY +1
Thank you, lightbrite.
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