Possible solution to the shidduch crisis

DY

ARe you saying every talmud chacham is smarter and more logical than every body else about evertything? what a strange demonstrably wrong notion, in fact this very example proves your notion wrong (or that they are not actually talmidei chachamim)

BTw you can claim you are not appealing to authority but you are whether you mean to or not, otherwise leave refrences to unnamed talmidei chachamim and gedolim out..

At any rate it doesnt matter since I completly reject the notion that two unamned talmidei chachamim understand this better than I. In fact in this situation it is laughable since the “age gap” is simplistic silliness

DY

I havent denied it because although it doesnt seem true to me, since I assume there is some truth to it since it is assumed by so many to be a given.

What exactly do you need explained, I think I have explained it in detail, but I am happy to explain it to you again

If the numbers are actually 110 to 100, there is a more complex reason to it than just the age gap tbeory. Of that I am certain.

Here is what your insistence that it is the age gap leads to:

– Tacit approval of every personal criteria invented by shadchanim and/or parents. Theres nothing wrong wih saying we can’t go out with baalei tshuva, or someone who graduated high school with only a B average, or someone from a broken home, or someone whose distant relative is rumored to have been sick at some point, or someone who davens in a shul I once felt uncomfortable going to, or someone who lives on Kings Highway, etc etc. Nothing is wrong with this, because the main thing that is wrong with shidduchim is just the age of the boy and girl.

– A new criteria is introduced to the list of moronic ones already in effect. If the relative ages are not good then nix it. Girls have to wait longer than they’d like to start dating; boys have to go out younger than they possibly should be and with girls who make them seem inadequate.

If all the age theory did was make it “kosher” for a girl to be older than 22 and to make it kosher for a girl to be older than her husband, then kol hakavod. Removing artificial restrictions is a good thing. But it leads to a worsening in the restrictiveness, and the bad clearly outweighs any good. Especially because the whole theory is based in simple mindedness and ignorance of external factors.

DY

That’s crazy if course it won’t. I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I thought it would.

The disagreement was two fold: 1. whether ignoring the fact that with 300 dates for 115 girls, many still suffer from “infrequent dating” by adding more guys two not date those girls would help at all. And 2 if it is at all logical/realistic (as opposed to simplistic) to view the dating field as a stagnant field with x number guys and girls, and then the doors being locked with nobody in or out.

Of course the 2 are linked.

Girls going first was just one idea to even the dating field and try to resolve the “infrequent dating” suffered by many, in spite of the fact (and this is key) that there are more than enough dates to go around. If it won’t help, fine let’s try something else I am not invested in this one point.