- This topic has 117 replies, 22 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 12 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
“what can possibly come up once a day? Even once a week I cant imagine?”
It was an off-the-top-of my-head estimate. It’s possible that once a day was an exaggeration, but I’m not so sure. Once a week was not.
Before I responded, I took a moment to think of some of the sheilahs that have come up over the past few years, and there were definitely a lot. If I have a chance, maybe I’ll post some of them, or at least the topics.
My feeling is that if anyone does not have sheilahs at least once a week, that is likely either because they don’t know enough to realize there is a sheilah, or they are extraordinarily well-versed in halacha, so they don’t need to ask.
I would put most of the sheilahs that I or others I know have had in one of two categories. One category includes sheilahs that require a Poseik (so even if I knew as much halacha as I should, I would still need to ask).
The second one would include sheilahs that one might say that if the person knew as much as they should know, they wouldn’t need to ask. But l’maaseh, most/many people are not well-versed enough in halacha and do need to ask someone (although the someone may not necessarily have to be a poseik).
My estimate is that the first type of sheilah comes up roughly at least once a week to once a month, and the second one comes up roughly once a day to once a week.
Again, I will try to give examples when I have a chance.
“some of the sheilahs that have come up over the past few years, and there were definitely a lot. If I have a chance, maybe I’ll post some of them, or at least the topics.”
assuming “a few” is 3 years thats over 150 sheilahs assuming once a week?
“My feeling is that if anyone does not have sheilahs at least once a week, that is likely either because they don’t know enough to realize there is a sheilah, or they are extraordinarily well-versed in halacha, so they don’t need to ask.”
I think its someone who is still new. Which is of course a great to recognize lack of knoledge and ask when appropriate even if it is daily!
“One category includes sheilahs that require a Poseik (so even if I knew as much halacha as I should, I would still need to ask).”
I am not sure what that means. Like Tzoras that needs a kohein even if the person with the nega knows the halacha?Im not sure your distinction is correct. OF course in throry ever y body would know kol hatorah kulah. In practice this is impossible so we have a Rav to pasken that isnt a failing per se
My feeling is that if anyone does not have sheilahs at least once a week, that is likely either because they don’t know enough to realize there is a sheilah, or they are extraordinarily well-versed in halacha, so they don’t need to ask.
One doesn’t need to be “extraordinarily” versed in halachah to not have shailos every week.
Again, I will try to give examples when I have a chance.
That would be helpful.
iacisrmma:
Extensive experience.
Joseph:
That accusation was uncalled for, totally false, and quite a disgrace. My only issue is that some expect rabbonim to go outside of their domain. This type of dependency is pathological, and not Torah sanctioned. There is nothing wrong with rabbonim having their areas of specialty, similar to many professions. And when a shailoh outside their realm is posed, they need to redirect it to someone more capable. Many do. Some do not. And the list of jobs, moving, and chinuch are examples that some understand well, and others do not. I am not anti-rabbonim. I am quite close to many of them. I include Roshei Yeshivos, Poskim, Dayanim, and others. But if you enjoy throwing around accusations, go right ahead. I am very comfortable with my position, and so many quite noteworthy rabbonim are similarly comfortable with me.
I’m wondering if most Rov’s of Shul’s (or other poskim) who answer shailas have a good number of congregants who call them, on a regular basis, multiple times per week?
If so, would they find that unusual for a person to be calling them with shailas so often? And if they have multiple such congregants, would taking those calls and answering them occupy a substantial portion of their time?
“Again, I will try to give examples when I have a chance.”
“That would be helpful.”
Well now that I know that someone is interested in reading, I will try to do so, bli neder.
“One doesn’t need to be “extraordinarily” versed in halachah to not have shailos every week.”
I’ll give examples that have come up. I find that things come up every week.
“assuming “a few” is 3 years thats over 150 sheilahs assuming once a week?”
I didn’t say I remember every sheilah, and I didn’t say that I was going to write all those that I remember.
“I think its someone who is still new. Which is of course a great to recognize lack of knoledge and ask when appropriate even if it is daily!”
No, the new people don’t know enough to know what to ask. As one or more of the posters already wrote (don’t remember who), sometimes, the people who know more have more questions.
I think that at least one of my friends recently commented that they were impressed that I even realized that something was a sheilah, since they wouldn’t have even known enough to know that.However, you may have hit the nail on the head with this comment: “Which is of course a great to recognize lack of knoledge and ask when appropriate even if it is daily!” If people aren’t asking at least weekly, it may be because they don’t want to acknowledge their lack of knowledge.
The fact is that many halachic issues come up every day, so unless one is very familiar with halacha, they will have shailahs every day or nearly every day.
And from what I’ve seen, most people aren’t that familiar with halacha (to know all the halachos that come up daily). The women certainly aren’t (which is who I mainly talk to), but many of the men I know seem not to be either.Most women that I know have not even learned all of the halachos in the Mishna Berura (including myself), and there are halachos there that come up every day or every week.
Hilchos Brachos come up every day, and most people that I know have not learned hilchos brachos. Hilchos Shabbos come up every week, and most people I know have not learned all of the halachos of Shabbos that come up on a regular basis.
Also, even if someone has learned hilchos Shabbos thoroughly, there are still many sheilahs that can come up. I have learned Hilchos Borer, but knowing hilchos borer does not mean that you will necessarily know if a particular situation is borer or not, since the halachos themselves are a bit vague (since the precise definition of borer is not clear).
I find that almost every Shabbos, a halachic sheilah comes up that no one is sure of the answer to (including the avreichim and Yeshiva Bochurim present).
“Im not sure your distinction is correct. OF course in throry ever y body would know kol hatorah kulah. In practice this is impossible so we have a Rav to pasken that isnt a failing per se”
The distinctions were (knowingly and deliberately) vague.
My point was basically that I thought that you and anyone else who thinks that it’s not necessary to ask sheilahs that often might be assuming that most people should know halacha well enough to be able to know what to do without asking.So I was just trying to point out that even if everyone had learned as much as they should/could have, there would still be many things that would need asking.
But of course, it’s impossible to really know what everyone could/should have learned, and in any case, what matters is the fact that l’maaseh, most people are very lacking in their knowledge of basic halacha, so they do have sheilahs on a daily/weekly base, whether or not they should, and whether or not they actually ask them.“One category includes sheilahs that require a Poseik (so even if I knew as much halacha as I should, I would still need to ask).”
“I am not sure what that means. Like Tzoras that needs a kohein even if the person with the nega knows the halacha?”There is a difference between knowing halacha well, and knowing enough to posken specific sheilahs that come up.
But again, it may be hard to understand what I mean until i give specific examples.
I will b”n try to do so soon.
Joseph:
There have been gedolim that possessed areas of expertise, without having attended college. The Skverer Rebbe had been involved so intensely and over so long a time that he gained considerable knowledge. I knew the rebbe, and while he was ready to impart advice, he was not beyond recommending these suggestions to the doctor. He never wrote prescriptions or performed surgeries. The Chazon Ish, having similarly gained hands on experience, was often able to access something we might call “Ruach Hakodesh”. And, while I do not personally know anyone who can do that today, I am not beyond believing that there could be someone holy enough today that we could say צדיק גוזר והקב”ה מקיים. Outside of their training, yes. But learned in this area, yes.
Our generation witnessed many rabbonim and gedolim completely outside their league with poor understanding of many mental health issues, including child abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, addictions, and others. Many proclamations made needed to be retracted, revised, and this multiple times. They are not infallible.
Lastly, there are many aspects to jobs, including location, tasks, training, work environment, wage, and more. I am trying to think of any Rov who is knowledgeable enough in all of these areas to be capable of giving advice. It is too easy to confuse approaching a Rov for his brocho with seeking his advice. I refer you to a wonderful article on that subject penned by Rabbi Yaakov Horowitz in one of the last issues of Jewish Observer.
A relative of mine moved a few years ago. Prior to making that decision, he approached several rabbonim, rebbes, etc., and asked advice. None knew a bit about the location where he was moving, not the community, schools, etc. They were unable to answer. He collected their brochos, but that was all.
drastically edited
“drastically edited”
lol, that’s a new one. My curiosity is aroused….
Okay, off the top of my head, I came up with a list of 25 questions that I had in the last approximately 6 months (which comes out to approximately once a week):
1. Am I allowed to fly out of Israel on the second day of Y”T?
2. Am I allowed to go through the electronic security thing in an airport in chu”l on the second day of Y”T?
3. Am I allowed to hand over my passport to security in a chu”l airport on the second day of Y”T?
4. Question about taxes
5. Another question about taxes
6. If I have to to teach myself how to put on Tefillin so that I can help my father, am I allowed to practice on a boy younger than nine?
7. If my father has no one to make havdala for him on Motzei Shabbos, am I allowed to make it for him when I visit him on Monday morning?
8. Question seven had to be reasked because new information came up when I told my father that I was going to make havdala for him.9. Am I allowed to use the escalator in a chu”l airport on the second day of Y”T?
10. Am I allowed to use the automatic sinks in the bathroom in an airport on chu”l on the second day of Y”T?
11. A question about yayin nesech and not-frum relatives
12. Is it a problem to have people sitting at a table on Shabbos that has candles on it if they are not careful and the table is not sturdy, so the candles move every time they touch the table?
13. Is it a problem to cut a cake on Shabbos that has pictures on it, if the top part of the cake where the pictures are was cut before Shabbos, but it wasn’t cut all the way through?
14. Is it borer if I take the bread off the table in order to wrap it separately after the disposable tablecloth was partially folded over?
15. Was a certain post in the CR l”h?
16. Was another post in the CR l”h?
17. Was another post in the CR l”H?
18. Is it assur to post in the CR?19. If I ate a kzayis of hamotzi bein hashmashos on motzei Rosh Chodesh, do I say Yaaleh v’yavo in bentching?
20. Is my friend’s kid allowed to open some kind of nash or drink on Shabbos (I don’t remember what it was exactly or how it opened, but it was something that could have been considered making a Kli on Shabbos, and it was “my sheilah” because the kid asked me)?
21. Is it ribis if I charge clients a different amount depending when they pay?
22. A ribis sheilah regarding how to make shekel/dollar calculations when people pay me.
23. Same as 22 – there were at least 2 or 3 sheilahs on the topic.
24. If I had previous jobs that involved my handing in time sheets and being paid by the hour, do I have to pay them back if I’m concerned that I my calculations may not have been accurate (since I’m not always sure what you’re allowed to count as work-time or not)?
25. What if I know a mistake was made and they are goyim?Thanks for the examples
Though You are kind of proving my point. Many of your examples are really reaching.
for example Many of your questions involve second day in chu”l (arguably these are one question) this doesnt come up that often. For me it never has and for the forceable future never will
Question 6 too is obviously not a daily occurrence. you asked got your answer. I grant there are exceptional cases that come up particularly around uncommon life style events.
I believe Joseph is talking (at least I am) regarding day to day examples for the average frum personLilmod, you asked all these shailos to your local shul Rov or you split them up among different rabbonim?
“Well now that I know that someone is interested in reading, I will try to do so, bli neder.”
I am interested too
“I didn’t say I remember every sheilah, and I didn’t say that I was going to write all those that I remember.”
Yes I understand. Im just flabbergasted that the avergae frum person could have that many shaylas.
“No, the new people don’t know enough to know what to ask.”
Sometimes
” As one or more of the posters already wrote (don’t remember who), sometimes, the people who know more have more questions.”
Sometimes, though this was then qualified.“If people aren’t asking at least weekly, it may be because they don’t want to acknowledge their lack of knowledge.”
Or it is becasue generally speaking shaylas dont come up that often.
you list categories of halachas. fine I understand yo u have an ice cream sandwich (youve never had one before I guess) and you dont know what beracha to make so you ask your Rav . Ok thats one. you have 149 to go. Unles you are asking about ice cream, cookies, apples, pears etc Idont see how you can get so many.“I find that almost every Shabbos, a halachic sheilah comes up that no one is sure of the answer to”
and it isnt in the Mishne berurua? IOR they dont have access to one? Or they cant read it?“The distinctions were (knowingly and deliberately) vague.”
Please try to Avoid making vague points. It doesnt contribute to the conversation and it doesnt make you sound smarter.“My point was basically that I thought that you …”
Also please avoid assumptions.
“There is a difference between knowing halacha well, and knowing enough to posken specific sheilahs that come up.”
So not like Tzoras? do you mena like nikur which requires hands on experience? Or examining marehs which colors are difficult t convey in writing. (Agreed that is an exception which I acknowledge can led to monthly questions potentially more this my range of 4 – 24 a year excluded these)“I will b”n try to do so soon.”
Looking forward!Two more sheilas that I just remembered: 1. If I want to use an oven that was previously used for fleishiks but hasn’t been used in at least 2 months, and I want to use it for milchiks, is it enough if I heated it up for an hour but didn’t clean it out?
2. I pointed out to my friend that something she was doing was a sheilah – something to do with using an oven on Shabbos, but i dont’ remember the situation – and she asked her husband who agreed it was a sheilah.
Ubiquitin – as I previously pointed out, there are different kinds of questions – some are the more “regular” type that come up daily, and some are what you are calling “uncommon lifestyle events”.
These are the sheilahs that I happened to have, but other people would have other (uncommon lifestyle event) sheilahs. It’s davka these types of sheilahs that everyone has to ask, since they do not come up on a regular basis and are situation-specific so even if someone is well-versed in halacha, they would probably still have to ask. And I would imagine that everyone has sheilas like this, but they might not realize it.
As for day-day sheilahs, anyone who posts in the CR should have sheilas regarding hilchos L”H a minimum of once a week, if not once a day, whether regarding their own posts or someone else’s.
I think that most people probably have a lot of sheilahs regarding dinei mamonos, although they might not realize it.
Most work situations probably involve many sheilahs regarding dinei mamonos.
“Well now that I know that someone is interested in reading, I will try to do so, bli neder.”
‘I am interested too”
I know, and I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I had actually written that post after I responded to you, but the posts came up out of order.
Slominer -split up.
I don’t have one specific Rav. Partly because I haven’t yet found someone, but also partially because I think (and have been told by my Rabbanim) that one should ask sheilas to a Rav who is an expert in the particular area of halacha (I think Ubiquitin actually also mentioned this idea recently).One particular example of that is L”H questions. I only ask those to Rabbanim who are known to be experts on answering L”H questions, since that is a topic that few people are qualified to answer sheilahs in.
When it comes to “community questions” (like questions about landlord issues), I usually try to ask a “Community Rav” who is widely accepted in the particular community.
Also, while my list may have included more of the “non-typical” types of questions, it also included some of the more “regular” types as well. I think that part of the reason that I included less of those is that they are harder to remember off-hand. I will, b”n, try to make more of a point of paying attention to them in the future, so that I can include them (or I will try to refresh my memory), although I think that I have already given you enough examples.
A Rov doesn’t mean some joe shoe or the guy at shul with smicha.
” It’s davka these types of sheilahs that everyone has to ask, since they do not come up on a regular basis and are situation-specific”
Obviously. thats why we are talking about aside from these situations
“And I would imagine that everyone has sheilas like this, but they might not realize it.”
you are imagining incorrectly. Yes when a person has a child there may be questions, when someone is in the hospital, getting married shiduchim, and of course r”l aveilus certainly raises many sheilos etc etc. This was pointed out earlier and isnt what we are talking about.
None of those situations applied to me in the past few yearsI made up a list of the types of sheilahs that many or maybe most people should have, and I will post it shortly. This also includes many things that I have witnessed people doing wrong, which means that they had a sheilah, although they didn’t know it.
Btw, I took a survey on Shabbos amongst the women at the Seudah, and the maskana was that people have sheilahs approximately twice a week (okay so 2 people is not a reliable survey, but that was all I had).
Also, I kept track, and there were at least 6 sheilahs that came up since I posted 4 days ago (not necessarily mine – usually things I saw someone doing wrong because they hadn’t asked, and should have).
“I find that almost every Shabbos, a halachic sheilah comes up that no one is sure of the answer to”
“and it isnt in the Mishne berurua? IOR they dont have access to one? Or they cant read it?”Most women have never learned Mishna Berura. It’s not taught in Bais Yaakovs. Even in non-Bais Yaakovs, if it’s taught at all, it’s usually only taught in seminary, and many girls do not continue formal inside-learning after one year of seminary.
I suspect that there are many men who also do not know how to look things up in the Mishna Berurah. I also suspect that there are many men who think that they know how to look things up in the Mishna Berurah, but do not (or make mistakes more often than they should).
Furthermore, not all sheilahs (even the daily/weekly type) can be answered by looking it up in the Mishna Berurah. In some cases, this is because it’s the type of topic that has to be learned in depth, so if you have already learned the sugya, you might be able to just look it up in the MB on the spot, but otherwise, you might not be able to.
In many cases, it involves something that did not exist yet in the times of the Mishna Berurah. In some cases, we don’t posken like the Mishna Berurah. In some cases, the Mishna Berurah leaves it as a machlokes and does not posken.
In some cases, the halacha is not clear, so even after studying it in depth, one would still have to ask a sheilah. (I know that when I learn halacha, I have had questions such as these, and some of them are questions that should arise for many people on a daily basis, although it’s possible that they haven’t learned enough to know there’s an issue).
And there are probably other things that are not discussed in the Mishna Berurah for some other reason. Also, if it’s not in Orach Chaim, the Mishna Berurah won’t help.
When I said that I see questions coming up on a regular basis, what I see happening is: women and children who don’t have the background to look it up themselves, so they either ask their husbands or they ask me.
When they ask their husbands, sometimes they know, and sometimes they say they don’t know, and sometimes they think they know but they are wrong. I have had to correct people and been thanked for it, although sometimes I was too uncomfortable to say anything, but that was probably wrong on my part.
When they ask me, the first two apply, and probably the third at times as well, but I hope not, and I am trying to be careful about that.
Hilchos Brachos:
1. When you make a bracha rishona, which foods are covered by your bracha? This comes up every day, and if someone hasn’t learned hilchos brachos (which many people have not), they should have this sheilah every day.
Also, even if you have learned it in depth, you should still have a particular sheilah because there is a crucial aspect that is not clear, and it is possible to understand the relevant sources in two different ways, and it’s understood differently by two different authors of Hilchos Brachos sefarim. (which is why I called up each of them and asked them to explain their reasoning before I taught those halachos).2. Shinui Makom questions. This can involve many situations and many questions, which you would have if you haven’t learned the halachos.
Also, even after learning the halachos, there was at least one question that I still had, and apparently, it’s not clear, because I asked two different Rabbanim and got two different answers.The question is: If you are eating potato chips (for example), and you leave the house but plan to continue eating the potato chips in your new location, should you make a bracha achrona first? (according to the one who said you make a b”a, you would have to wait before resuming eating – I forgot how long, I think it was app. 20 minutes, but it could have been 30 or 15, and according to the other one, you should not wait too long).
3. Food combination questions (3 of the issues this week involved food combinations. In all 3 cases, people were making an assumption that was probably incorrect, and in case, should have been asked and not assumed, since they didn’t know the relevant halachos. The 3 foods were: Kif Kaf (Israeli version of Kit Kat), cookies and cream ice cream, and butternut squash soup.
4. If you continually drink water over an extended period of time, when do you make a bracha achrona?
5. If you drink wine during a meal, do you say a bracha? Which bracha?
6. Should you wash on one slice of pizza? In the US? In Israel? In another country? In what year? (This is not a simple question, and the halacha may have changed over the years, and may be different in different countries, and there are probably different opinions).
7. Other Pas haba bikisnin sheilahs – which foods are pas haba bikisnin (again, that is not simple, and may be different in different countries and at different times and may depend who you ask)? How much do you have to have to bentch? What if you eat less than 3/4 k’baitzas but you eat it with another food (for example, crackers with tuna) as a meal, and you are satiated? (I believe that R’ Moshe Zatsal and R’Shlomo Zalman zatsal posken differently)
Kashrus questions:
1. What hashgachos can I eat? This question may have to be reasked since it always changes (at least in EY – although probably less so in the US). It also has to be reasked when you travel to another country, or possibly another location in the same country.
2. What hashgachos can I eat at other people’s houses? This also may need reasking since each situation is different, and friends/family/relatives may all entail a different psak (and as the hashgachos change, of course, it also needs reasking).
3. Checking for bugs. This also is constantly changing, as well as being different for different countries. You also need to ask what to do when you’re at other people’s houses. And of course, it has to be asked for each food, and possibly each company/ type (I think some people differentiate between different types of grapes).
Other hilchos brachos questions I forgot:
1. If you are planning to eat bread in the car, so you wash in your house, how should you do things? If you make homotzi in the car, it may be too long a distance between al netilas yadayiim and hamotzi, but you don’t have time to eat a kzayis in the house, so what should you do? (Note: this is not at all simple, I tried looking into it and discussed it with two Talmidei Chachamim, and I’m still not sure what the answer is).
2. Should women make a zimun? (granted it only needs asked once, but if you would make a list of all the questions that only need asked once, you would have a lot of them. And this is not the kind of thing that you can just look up, since even though the MB says it’s technically muttar, there are Poskim who say that it’s a problem nowadays. Also, I ended up asking more than once, because after I asked one Rav (who is not a Gadol) who said yes, I found out about a Gadol who said no, so I realized it’s a sheilah that needs asked to a Gadol. Furthermore, different people (people who are learned but not Gedolim) understand the MB differently in the first place).
3.Should women wash mayim acharonim?
LU
Look I amdit I made up my number if it is wrong I wont lose any sleep.The entire question is a bit vague “typical frum home” is hard to define. how learned are they? How confident are they? How clumsy are they? (obviously the family that often splashes milk all over the place while the chicken sou is already up will have more shailas than the family that doesnt.)
you say “that people have sheilahs approximately twice a week” ok so I guess we run in different circles, as I odnt see how that is possible.
A few quick points though
“Most women have never learned Mishna Berura. ”
True, but Joseph’s comment was about the typical frum household, which usually isnt just women.“I suspect that there are many men who also do not know how to look things up in the Mishna Berurah. I also suspect that there are many men who think that they know how to look things up in the Mishna Berurah, but do not (or make mistakes more often than they should).”
The discussion is about “typical frum homes” I grant there are some who cannot read a Mishne Berura but It is fair to say the “Typical” product of a yeshiva system can.
“Furthermore, not all sheilahs (even the daily/weekly type) can be answered by looking it up in the Mishna Berurah. ”
By far most can. the only ones you may have trouble with are technological questions (and of course non-OC questions) I concede there wil l still be a few shailas as I said. note I ever said no questions arise.
Davening questions:
What do women have to say? When and to what extent can they rely on the opinion that one shevach,bakasha, hodaah a day is enough? When should you say al netilas yadayim in the morning? How much of davening do you have to include afterwards to be yotzi the Rosh? Do you have to wash negelvasser by your bed? Can you eat before davening? Can you eat before davening on Shabbos? If you eat before davening on Shabbos, should you make kiddush first? What if you said all of birchos hashachar?And again, hilchos loshon hora sheilahs come up at least once a week for anyone in the CR, and probably even for anyone who is not in the CR.
Hilchos Shabbos issues that I’ve seen come up:
1. I’ve seen people cut up vegetables several hours before the seudah.
2.Many people don’t know the halachos of heating things up on Shabbos. I recently saw someone about to heat something up on Shabbos in a way that was a problem, but I stopped her in time. I had a sheilah once regarding whether or not I could eat something that was heated up incorrectly. (I also had to find out if it was in fact incorrect). Also, someone I know recently decided to start keeping food in her oven recently, so she had to find out if she was allowed to, and how.
3. I have a lot of questions regarding “Graf shel re’i”. I’m not sure if/when/how you are allowed to throw out things like empty wrappers and dirty tissues. I was once told that something I did was wrong, so I’m still trying to figure out what is ok and what’s not. I tried looking it up once in one of the Hilchos Shabbos sefarim, but couldn’t find it. And this comes up every Shabbos.
“Yes when a person has a child there may be questions, when someone is in the hospital, getting married shiduchim, and of course r”l aveilus certainly raises many sheilos etc etc. This was pointed out earlier and isnt what we are talking about.”
“None of those situations applied to me in the past few years”There’s also travelling, paying taxes, work-related sheilahs, apartment rental sheilahs and other financial matters, Kibbud Av V’eim sheilas, chinuch sheilahs (which could come up even if you don’t have your own kids), yichud sheilahs (I stay at people’s houses a lot, so it comes up a lot, and many times it’s situation-specific and not enough to know the basic halachos)
Maybe none of these situations applied to you in the past few years, but that’s unusual.
If you dont have a Rav, how would you handle the following situation.
As a favor, we allowed someone to stay in our apartment for a few days. This guest had a chezkas kashrus when he moved in. Upon the guest moving out (upon our return) , we discovered in the garbage empty boxes from treif pizza, and other treif (not a question of whether the hechsher was reliable) foodstuff. Guest only had access to a microwave oven. Melted cheese was found in the microwave (and treif pizza boxes were found in the trash) . Must we assume treif pizza was warmed in microwave despite the readily available kosher pizza in the neighborhood. If yes, must we assume it was also used for neveila (or chazer) despite no evidence of such food. If yes, may we kasher the microwave, and how. Furthermore, this person stayed by someone in the neighborhood for a few days prior to staying by us. Must we alert the neighbors that their kitchen and utensils may be problematic. May we (without any proof, we only have the circumstantial evidence of the empty boxes which is certainly compelling evidence – but how does halacha see it)? Perhaps the person has a chezkas kashrus until there is a reason to assume otherwise? Is our “evidence” enough of a reason?
I think that Lilmod’s point is well made, and well taken. There are many shailos that people (including myself) don’t even think to ask.
However, looking at Lilmod’s lists of questions, I think there is another aspect at work here. I, and I suspect many others, have an aversion to asking shailos. As such, I simply avoid questions or I am machmir when it is not too difficult to do so.
For example, because I don’t know what the proper halacha is if I am planning on eating potato chips in two locations, I simply do not eat the potato chips in the second location. I am pretty sure that having Shabbos candles on a shaky table is bad idea, so I would simply not put Shabbos candles on a shaky table (as a general practice I don’t think it is good idea to put Shabbos candles on the table because of bosis).
As an aside, the best practical hilchos Shabbos sefer, in my opinion, is Rabbi Ribiat’s 4 volume set. He really does cover almost every practical scenario and he has extensive endnotes so you can look up the original sources.
APY
now THATs a Sheila. thanks for sharing
(In contrast to questions about what beracha to make on Kif kaf, or whether to wash netilas yedayim by the bed. Though of course if anyone has that sheila dont hesitate to ask)
If you dont have a Rav, how would you handle the following situation
I would ask a posek who wasn’t my rav.
Joseph,
I am not sure. I could give some rational, reasoned explanation but I would be only fooling myself. It is most likely a combination of feeling like I am bothering the Rav (if the shaila is not “big” or interesting enough) and feeling stupid for not knowing or being able to work out the answer myself.
To all the great Chachomim in the CR:
Please interpret the following two Mishnayos, both from Pirkei Avos. You might say they are repetitious of each other, and the duplication is for emphasis. Or you might recognize two different messages. Without a doubt, there must be many ways to explain this. I am looking to use this as a means to clarify the subject question of this thread.
עשה לך רב קנה לך חבר
אבות פרק אעשה לך רב והסתלק מן הספק
אבות פרק אYour thoughts please.
It really comes down to one’s level of education/experience with matters of halacha and self-confidence in researching certain types of questions where more likely than not, no psak is required. There are some yidden for whom the sequence of putting on their shoes in the AM is a shaylah worthy of asking their Rav. The threshold for asking a question obviously is very personal and there is no right or wrong answer. If you are lacking in confidence and have a Rav who never seems to bothered to answer even the most trivial questions, go for it.
TLIK
“to clarify the subject question of this thread.”How does that relate to the question of this thread which is “How often does an average frum family consult with their Rov for a shaila or other advice?”
Even the original question “Are there many frum people who don’t have a set Rov and/or Posek who is the final ruling authority for themselves and their entire family?” Is only tangentially related, as the question wasnt “SHOULD they have” but “do they have ” (actually dont have).
“I think that Lilmod’s point is well made, and well taken.”
Thank you!
“However, looking at Lilmod’s lists of questions, I think there is another aspect at work here. I, and I suspect many others, have an aversion to asking shailos. As such, I simply avoid questions or I am machmir when it is not too difficult to do so.”
True, and I think that was one of the main points that I was trying to make. I was not necessarily referring to sheilahs that had actually been asked, but rather, to sheilahs that should have been asked, whether or not they were.
I agree that people are reluctant to ask sheilahs and try to avoid it.
The problem is that while, in some cases, one can just avoid the sheilah, as you said, I think that in many cases, people just try to figure out on their own what to do even when there is a good chance they may be wrong. I have definitely seen this happen.
In other cases, they will choose what they think is the “safer” of two paths, but it may not be the best choice halachically.
Another problem is that while I may choose to just not eat the potato chips, my (theoretical) child or (non-theoretical) student may not be happy with that choice. And actually, I wouldn’t be so happy with that choice either. Or someone could end up in a situation in which it’s really not an option for whatever reason. So it’s important to know the halacha in case that ever happens.
And in some cases, something was already done, when someone realized it was a sheilah. In the case of the candles, for example, I was at someone else’s house who hadn’t thought of the issue, and I pointed it out after the candles were already lit. Also, I don’t know if anyone could have realized how shaky the table was and that it would t/f be a problem until after the candles were lit.
I’m not sure that “bosis” is such a problem because I think you can just make sure that there is a bentcher on the table or that it is set before candle-lighting (making sure that there is at least one non-disposable item)
Personally, I would be reluctant because of fire hazard concerns, as well as the fact that you can’t remove the tablecloth all Shabbos.
“Benignuman, why do you have an aversion to asking shailos?”
I think this is probably true of many people. I would guess that for many people (particularly men), it’s at least partially for the reasons he gave. I have the feeling that many men, especially if they are avreichim and/or Marbitzei Torah (which applies to almost all the men I know), feel uncomfortable asking sheilahs that they feel they should know the answer to on their own.
I also have the feeling that many men may feel like they are supposed to be able to answer their wive’s and children’s questions themselves.
Someone I know who is a therapist for people with anxiety issues told me that he gets a lot of newly-married men as patients – people who were border-line clinical to begin with, and having to be responsible for the halachic issues of the home (he may have mentioned kashrus specifically, but I’m not sure), throws them over the edge.
After he said this, I realized that it must be a lot of pressure for men if they feel like they have to be the “poseik” for the house even though they aren’t qualified poskim, and it would be a lot better if they were more comfortable asking sheilahs (not because most people are likely to develop clinical anxiety, but because that is what they should be doing).
Another problem that some may have is finding a Rav that they trust and feel comfortable asking. And I think this may become more difficult as one becomes more learned. If you don’t know very much, you can ask almost anyone because they all know more than you, and anyhow, you probably don’t know enough to evaluate the differences between one Rav and another.
LU
“but rather, to sheilahs that should have been asked, whether or not they were”Though that isnt really the topic we were discussing.
Again the question was “How often does an average frum family consult with their Rov for a shaila or other advice”
Though as I said, I concede perhaps GH is correct, as there may be too many variables for the question to have any meaning
LU: I have read through your questions. Many of them are one time questions and do not often have to be asked again., unless you forgot what you were told the first time. e.g ashing on one slice of pizza. Most people ask the shailoh once and receive an answer and do not ask again.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.