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Traditionally, Jewish parents would choose their children’s shidduch. We all probably heard stories from the alte heim where the parents were mshadech their child even at a very young age (with the wedding taking place when the couple got a little older.) Even today in Eretz Yisroel and America by many of the very frum the parents still more or less choose the shidduch, the couple have a brief meeting to acquanint themselves with their future spouse, and L’Chaim!
Unfortunately as the generations got weaker, many of us deviated from this millenia’s old traditions. And lo and behold we are in midst of a shidduch crisis. Can the two be inter-related? I propose we return to the ways of our zaida’a and bubbe’s, that worked so well for thousands of years.
Oif simchas!
joseph…i really think people dont give you the credit you deserve for the thought you put into each post.
someone here will soon offer 2 goats and 4 down pillows for a shidduch for their child………just kidding
Lol mewho.
I always say that if someone is old enough to get married, they’re old enought to deal with their own shidduchim.
Ditto. If your not mature enough to deal with a shadchan, your not mature enough to deal with a spouse.
Actually mewho your not that far off, but instead of goats the currency is years of support. And, its not soon, that’s todays reality.
Personally, I would rather be single than marry my parents’ choice. So if Joseph were correct, I would still stay the course.
Midwest: Reading your comment one might c’v assume our poor grandparents nebech hardly lived much of a life, until we smart alecks came to the modern era and the industrial age. That is not only inaccurate, I’m sure any of us would trade places with our zeidas.
“For thousands of years Jewish parents married off young children. Apparently they were fine with the maturity, and so should we be. Maturity grows with time, as it did with our zaidas and bubbes.”
Actauly Tosfos in Kidusin had a hard time with the practice of picking a spouse for your very young child and went on to explain that the reason is because “kol yom hatzaros misgabros” meaning it was a dire situation that forced people to act in a non ideal way.
- The topic ‘Parents Managing or Choosing Children's Shidduchim’ is closed to new replies.