Painful Shoes/Bruised Heel? (Shidduchim)

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  • #608140
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    BH I recently got a beautiful pair of shoes, really beautiful, the nicest pair of shoes I have ever owned. BH I am very active, no foot problems, ever, so even though they weren’t so practical looking, it seemed like little risk.

    The joke’s on me. I wore them only a few times, on dates, and walked maybe the length of a block each time. However, I have developed a painful bruise on the back of my heel. It has been 4 weeks since I last wore these shoes, and the bruise is still there.

    I assume girls in shidduchim would know about this. I’ve never worn shoes with any type of heel before, is this something you just have to get used to?

    #931628

    No, you don’t have to get used to it! Don’t wear heels if you don’t feel comfortable in them. I personally only wear heels to weddings (and my high school graduation). The right shidduch will not insist that you wear something that hurts you and leaves lasting damage.

    If you really want to try again, however, I recommend a short, chunky heel as opposed to a tall, spindly one. This type of shoe will give your feet the necessary support. Alternatively, you can wear espadrilles or wedges, which I find to be just as comfortable as flats.

    I happen to be dating someone who is approximately the same height as me, but if your shidduch is taller, you can experiment with different types of shoes. Payless has some great styles, or if you’re like me and enjoy shopping online, try zappos.com and 6pm.com. You can also join a shoe of the month club, such as JustFab.

    #931629
    SaysMe
    Member

    t613- no, that’s not usual, and doesnt sound good. Especially the 4 week bruise. i’d definitely suggest not wearing them again as is. maybe all you need is an insert/ sticky cushion for the back. but you should not be getting bruises from your shoes. dont take shoe pain lightly. you can really be damaging your feet, possibly permanently

    #931630
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Thanks JF and Saysme. I think they are just too tight. Glad to know this is not typical – I googled but nothing was conclusive. They are one inch heels but have a tight back. I might try the inserts, but not anytime soon!

    #931631
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Sometimes new shoes are just very stiff and need some breaking in…I’ve don’t usually have this problem with my heels, because I try to stick to only super-comfy ones, but I have it very often with flats. I either stick a band-aid to the back of my heel so it can’t chafe, or walk around with the backs of the shoes smashed in for a bit. ^_^

    #931632
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    OOM: Interesting.

    #931633
    SaysMe
    Member

    that helps for blisters from stiff or tight shoes for sure. But a bruise i’ve never gotten on the back of my ankle, and 4 weeks sounds a bit much. The only shoe bruising i’ve experienced was on top of my big toe from a bump inside my shoe. And that ended up turning into a bunion, so definitely not worth risking.

    #931634
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    yep yep

    #931635
    yytz
    Participant

    I’ve gotten bruises or blisters on the back of my heel from new shoes. I find that putting a band-aid on them stops the pain and helps them heal (in addition to wearing the new shoes only for short periods of time).

    #931636
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Saysme: That’s why I asked. It’s a bit weird that after 4 weeks of my most comfortable shoes it’s still hurting, but I always hear people complain about their shoes, and I’ve never had any foot pain before, so I didn’t know if it was normal.

    It’s definitely not a bunion and there’s no visible swelling, although if I press it with my fingers, it hurts.

    So for the past three days, I davka wore no shoes that touched the back of the heel, but it’s still there. Definitely not normal and now I have to take time off work to go to a podiatrist. 🙁

    Thanks Saysme for your help, and OOM for your suggestions.

    #931637
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    go to a podiatrist

    That’s what I was going to suggest. R”S.

    #931638
    YW Moderator-42
    Moderator

    I never understood why girls wear heels. Are you so insecure that you are not happy with the height Hashem made you? I personally couldn’t care less how tall my date is and would rather she be comfortable.

    #931639
    SaysMe
    Member

    42- would you care if she was taller than you? How about 10” shorter? 🙂

    dont worry though, not all girls wear uncomfortable shoes and not all girls wear high heels; not all high heels are uncomfortable, nor are all flats comfortable

    #931640
    superstar
    Member

    Excuse me but men have heels on their shoes and they are already taller. Are men insecure too?

    #931641
    yehudayona
    Participant

    There was an interesting article on high heels on the BBC website a couple of weeks ago. It’s titled “Why Did Men Stop Wearing High Heels?” Apparently they were originally worn by Persian cavalry soldiers. According to someone from a shoe museum, “When the soldier stood up in his stirrups, the heel helped him to secure his stance so that he could shoot his bow and arrow more effectively.” The bottom line is that high heels aren’t for walking.

    #931642
    Curiosity
    Participant

    Superstar: I don’t understand why girls wear shoes with no heels at all. Those dainty fabric shoes that many frum girls wear today offer no arch support.

    Mod-42: I don’t understand why girls wear heels either. I completely agree with you.

    #931643
    superstar
    Member

    OK but men still have heels on their shoes (not like ladies and not for shooting arrows.) And if they are not for walking then my previous post remains unrefuted.

    #931644
    SaysMe
    Member

    i gotta wonder and ask. Mods aside, how come any males are reading this thread passed the OP? 🙂

    #931645
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    wear golashes – problem solved

    #931646
    interjection
    Participant

    It’s nothing to do with insecurity. Women wear them because they like how the shoes look and because they like how they look in the shoes.

    #931647
    miritchka
    Member

    I always wore heals even though i am on the taller side. I stopped when i met my husband cuz he’s maybe 2 inches taller than me. After a couple of years i bought a pair of 5 inch heels! Hubby likes ’em, I really like them but only get to wear them seldomly when i go to a simcha or if i have the energy to get dressed with shoes on shabbos…I feel so dressed up in them.

    Why shouldnt a woman buy something they feel and look good in? (unless of course their hubby’s dont like it…)

    #931648
    SaysMe
    Member

    5 inch heels?!?!?!

    #931649
    Curiosity
    Participant

    SaysMe, I happen to know the OP irl, and was reading in hope to see her dilemma has been resolved.

    Superstar: heels shouldn’t be confused with soles. Men’s shoes have soles with slightly raised heels to provide protection and comfort for walking. Mod42 and I were discussing women’s shoes with high heels.

    #931650
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Thanks for your concern everyone. On OOM’s lines, I put a tissue in the back of my boots today, and it’s not hurting as much BH. I’m sure it’s nothing but will go to a podiatrist anyway (anyone know someone who can see people on Fridays or Sundays in Brooklyn?)

    As for why I would wear heels, not my type, it’s because this is hishtadlus. It’s not forbidden, and I heard that men like heels, albeit apparently not on this website.

    I have not worn heels since then on dates, and don’t plan to in the future, as clearly they do not get along with me.

    Wishing everyone comfortable shoes!

    #931651
    WIY
    Member

    Syag

    Do women actually wear womens galoshes?

    #931652
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    The reason we wear high heels is what interjection said.

    And ^_^ to Syag.

    #931653
    miritchka
    Member

    saysme: yup! maybe their 4 inches…gotta double check…havent worn them in a long time…i’m tempted to crash a simcha just so i can wear them…

    #931654
    SaysMe
    Member

    i once tried on a pair of 4” heels. My sister and i contemplated buying them for purim, before we decided it wasnt worth risking a broken ankle. No but seriously. 5”??? Thats like the size of my hand! Thats like looking at the world from a different perspective. And you said you’re tall already so that makes you over 5’10”. How do you walk in 5 inch heels without killing your feet? Doesnt it make your legs sore? Or is there a good solid 2 inch platform in the front. But still, have u ever misstepped in them? I’d be scared of twisting (or worse) an ankle. Or knee…

    #931655
    loca
    Member

    Wedges.

    And this is weird. Guys, stop hiding and admit u appreciate it when girls wear heels.

    And personally, I dont think girls wear heels to actually gain height. It makes us feel more dressy and attractive somehow. No idea why. It just does.

    #931656
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Went to podiatrist. It’s fine and will go away in time, as long as I don’t wear those shoes again.

    #931657
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I never wear more than two inches (in which I just barely pass the lower limit of average height :P). I don’t think my feet would survive four inches…

    #931658
    WIY
    Member

    loca

    Ok I admit it. NOW WHAT?

    #931659
    miritchka
    Member

    loca: +1

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