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I have this not so new thing that I spend a crazy amount of money on clothing (things that I do need) but don’t have that money to spend. I’m panicking. I wonder if it’s part of my illness or if it’s something else I should be worried about. I really don’t have a lot of money to my name but buy and buy and buy some more. I’m really scared!!
You sound like a normal girl.
shopping & buying can try to fill a hole, an emptiness… such as the loss of a loved one, as one example; or a feeling of emptiness like feeling unloved, being in a (somewhat) loveless relationship.
Dont go to expensive stores?
This is what works 4 me: Shop, come home, feel the guilt, let the excitement wear off, hang it in ur clost for a few days, then return.
At times when you are unhappy you do something that makes you happy and if shopping makes you happy then go shopping. However, which part of shopping is the high for you, the act of trying on clothes or the act of “spending the money”. If trying on the clothes makes you feel good about yourself then go ahead and do it. Fill your cart with all sorts of items but then before you get to the register choose just one thing, the favorite of the day and tell yourself “I deserve something special” and feel good about yourself and doing something nice for yourself. It really isn’t necessary to buy everything and then feel bad later. If the high is in “spending” the money then remind yourself that you did spend money on yourself by purchasing that special item for yourself. Appreciate the moment and the purchase.
It isn’t necessary to go overboard and ruin the experience by having to feel guilty later. Train yourself to respect yourself and appreciate the experience. YOU deserve to “gift” yourself and “treat” yourself to nice things and special days. So go ahead and have a treat to make yourself feel better just don’t go overboard.
remember money is from hashem, u spend some u earn some….thats my philosphy, and thats why i go on vacation every year because money spent on exeperiences is better spent then on objects, just remember. save a few thousand and go to europe for a week…its totally worth it, london, paris, antwerp, zurich, there are cheap hotels and kosher food or u can bring ur own 🙂
chshapiro – Why are you such a cheapskate looking for a cheap hotel?? When I travel to Europe, I would never dream of staying in a hotel less luxurious than The Ritz.
why spend a lot on hotels when ur only sleeping in them?? if ur going to europe u wanna spend the day sightseeing and staying in the center of the city in cute little hotels are the best….i didnt mean cheap like gross…u know i would never stay anywhere that wasnt classy…..
That’s still too cheap for my taste. Do you at least have a chauffeur drive you around in a limo? Anything less is not classy enough.
grandmaster, u are so snobby, we can never be friends!!!
I only keep friends who are fellow Mensa members.
woah seriously i didnt realize u were a member of the nerd herd….this just keeps getting better and better!!!
If you can answer this riddle, I’ll reconsider:
If the barber can only shave those in the village that don’t shave themselves, then who shaves the barber?
i took philosophy about two semesters ago…i hate paradoxs…seriously u have way too much free time…go shopping!!
Define “shave themselves” please.
1.they need a barber to attend to them?
2.they themselves are not barbers?
3.I’m totally off…?
Go to the riddle thread:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/the-riddle-thread/page/37#post-225470
I guess I’m not that smart,because I’m not even sure if I was right after reading the answer.
One thing my wife and I have been doing of late is the Envelope method. At the start of every month we take 4,000 nis out of the bank and put in envelopes for different uses. So some is marked “Food”, Some “Pessach”, “Clothing”, “Vacation” and so on.
There are a few good points to this plan:
1) We know how much we want to spend on each topic, and how much we have spent.
2) We agree in advance. If there is 500nis in the “Kids clothing” envelope and my wife goes and buys clothes from the kids, I won’t be mad at her, we agreed to it! (or vice versa)
3) Money is saved in Advance for things, We stared the Pessach envelope 3 months ahead of time.
Its nice to not fight about money!
Happiest- take me shopping with you; I get my high from NOT spending!
if you know you are spending too much money you need to try and figure out why and then figure out how to stop before you are deep in debt.
you dont need 30 skirts or sweaters per season. etc.
try and stay away from the stores that you frequent. when you feel the urge to spend try going speed walking or jogging instead.
the release of the endorphins will make you feel good!!no charge!!!
happiest –
Keep it simple:
Need it?
Get it.
Want it?
If you can afford it, get it!
You NEED presentable clothing; you should get it.
You may WANT Prada shoes, but surely don’t need them, so if you have the $, knock yourself out. If its putting you in debt, move on.
ZachKessin: I would love an idea like that if you say it works, but what happens if the “food” envelope is finished before the month is over??? I keep trying different things to limit spending and only be spending with a cheshbon… but nothing lasts more than two weeks! I tried taking out a certain amount of money a week, I tried writing everything down and when we hit a certain number then we just have to tighten our belts until the end of the week… (I get paid weekly) but nothing lasts!
I think That to look good you”ll need to spend $$. Maybe you could try to find cheaper clothes but the more $$ you spend the better quality the clothes is. Thats what i like to do
GumBall, I like to buy myself good quality clothing, too, but how many outfits do I really need? Yes, my clothes are relatively expensive (I shop at the heimishes), but I have exactly what I need- nothing extra!
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