Older Singles Support Group

Home Forums Shidduchim Older Singles Support Group

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #592592
    APushetaYid
    Participant

    Being an older single is not easy and there are plenty out there.

    so let’s have a support group on the CR. Each week with a new question. and all the older singles will answer how they deal with that situation. for example the 1st question:

    WHAT KIND OF HISHTADLUSH (SPIRITUAL) DO U DO? FOR EXAMPLE TEFILLAH, TZEDDAKAH, SEGULLAHS. AND AFTER DOING THAT GIVES YOU A DRIVE TO KNOW E/T WILL BE GOOD?

    please cooperate

    Thanks,

    #699793
    squeak
    Participant

    Please define the age range you want to hear from, both upper and lower.

    #699794

    how old is considered an older single? (how olds the youngest?)

    Hishtadlus- well although its not fun, meeting shadchanim, looking good and put together (whether your a girl or boy) but particularly for girls. and TEFILA TEFILA TEFILA

    #699795
    squeak
    Participant

    OK, this makes me the official CR ninja

    #699796
    APushetaYid
    Participant

    ages are different depending on which circles you come from but everyone knows for themselves.

    #699797
    MichelleNY
    Member

    Heard this in a class this past week, if you are in need of any yeshuah 2 things are needed – tefillah- the real kind, not the mouthing empty words while wondering what to have for lunch kind. Read the words from a siddur and think about what you’re saying, who you’re speaking to! It can be pretty awe inspiring. The 2nd thing that’s needed is bitachon. Knowing the Creator is your Father in Heaven is an absolute must. These 2 things combined – good tefillot knowing how much Hashem cares about you and how all-powerful he is, is the trick. Realize that you wouldn’t be where you are right now if it wasn’t the absolute best thing for you at the moment. If you can work on having these 2 things consistently, you will feel great. Warning: not as easy as it sounds. It really does have to be worked on.

    It’s a pretty personal topic, but my best friend and I can be completely honest with each other. While I concluded I was missing quantity of tefillot (making the time to pray a good amidah more often), she admitted her quality (bitachon) was lacking.

    Where can you improve?

    I don’t go for segulot so much, I believe more in cheshbon hanefesh, working on your middot (this requires honesty with oneself) and working on your tefillah, which is our primary way of connecting with Hashem. Definitely give tzedakah, and be out there- make sure the local shadchans know you, look your best and smile! It’s so important to smile and keep a positive attitude.

    Wishing you all much success.

    #699798
    Chosson
    Member

    Squeak, come again please

    #699799
    Pashuteh Yid
    Member

    Squeak, I wanted to apologize when I said on some other thread that people think young people are more with it. I did not mean anything against older people, it is just a perception that is common these days. Squeak is a multi-talented individual who can teach those young whippersnappers a thing or two.

    #699800
    Sacrilege
    Member

    “Warning: not as easy as it sounds.”

    That doesnt sound easy.

    #699801
    APushetaYid
    Participant

    MichelleNY: 100% true!!!!!!!!!I also believe these 2 things are the most important. and don’t forget if you’ll have fully trust in him hashem will say ok i’ll help her/him.

    “Warning: not as easy as it sounds.” If you just try to work on tefillah and bituchin you’ll see how sweet it’s it’s totally not hard! it will be addictive you’ll feel soooooo close to hashem!

    you’ll be such a happy joyous person!

    #699802
    squeak
    Participant

    PY- thank you. I accept the apology you offer, though none was due. FTR, I hadn’t taken offense. I was kidding, as usual.

    #699803
    MichelleNY
    Member

    Sacrilege, to some it may. Though I’m glad you’re keeping realistic, if you really want it and work on it Hashem helps. Wishing you the best of luck. May Hashem send you your bashert soon, it should be the right time and you should both have absolute clarity.

    #699804
    Moq
    Member

    And Vaadas HaRabbanim…I’m the cynically intellectual type, God knows. But send them some cash. I got convinced after I gave them $180 for three girls who had both been on the market for some years. One was the rosh yeshiva daugther type and had been out with half of lakewood. The other was a baal teshuvah giyores funny matsav, and had had two parshios in her entire career. One was just regular. I’m not sure what they did, the Kosel Thing & yada yada yada…

    They got engaged the same week. Again, I am a cynic. But I also respect results.

    Worst thing that can happen will be that more people will eat in Eretz Yisrael.

    #699805
    Sacrilege
    Member

    Amen. Thank you MichelleNY.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.