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I met a girl today who is older and picky. I suggested two perfectly good guys for her to date. She outright refused.
One of them is in a top 10 law school, who keeps cholov yisroel and yoshon and has a rebbe.
The other is in a top medical school and is a real ben torah.
I don’t know how all of AZ’s ideas will help if the girls just won’t see reason. She is already 23!!
How can I help her? AZ?
What was her stated reason for the rejection?
23 is old??
she wasn’t picky then, she didn’t think you had her best interest in mind and instead are doing it for the money, whatever you tell her wont change anything
yes but that’s how she felt
She mumbled something about not wanting to be a heicha timtza for me to make $100.
Gut voch.
Dunno if this is the situation here or not, but I often get red names of girls that for some reason or another I have no interest in dating, and I don’t always want to tell the shadchan why. That being said, though, her response to you was disgusting.
Dunno if this is the situation here or not, but I often get red names of girls that for some reason or another I have no interest in dating, and I don’t always want to tell the shadchan why. That being said, though, her response to you was disgusting.
How old are you and how can we contact you if we think we may have a shidduch to redt you?
Considerations are a computer programmer, pediatrician, speech therapist, early childhood teacher going for degree in Psychology. All are from intact frum homes and looking for a mentch.
Get a sense of humor, people. This is a joke…
(It WAS a joke, Popa, wasn’t it…?)
This shouldn’t be about me. It should be about her getting married.
Hee hee.
Why should someone that doesn’t trust you accept your advice?
Get a sense of humor, people. This is a joke…
(It WAS a joke, Popa, wasn’t it…?)
I’m glad I’m not the only one who got it…
I’ll take a med student for my daughter…. or the lawyer! Just let me know. My daughter would be very interested.
oomis, why do you think it’s a joke
In case anyone can’t tell, PBA has a habit of making up false stories to create a false and negative view of people in general. This is just one example.
It is hard to tell whether he was serious but I think the “mumbled response” kinda gives it away. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually had this conversation with an “older girl” (probably his sister-in-law the nurse) just so he can post this.
oomis, why do you think it’s a joke
You don’t want to know why I think it’s a joke?
I’m not even a regular coffeeroom reader and it was glaringly obvious that OP is jokingg. 1stly no1 would give a dramatic older single story and then say her age was 23.even among the crazies who doo feel 23 is old they all knoww deep down that 23 is a young spring chicken 2ndly no girl uses the expression haicha timtza. 🙂
oomis and daas yochid – gotta agree with you.
but pba – do they open the door for the girl?
I don’t know what a haicha timtza is, but I could tell from the OP that it was joke. Maybe I’ve been reading popa for too long.
The fact that this thread could be real or could be a joke is a joke in and of itself. That our society is so twisted as to consider a 23 year old girl to be old and burned out even enough just for it to be a joke is sad. I am not sure when we switched from being a normal and sane society to one that prevents boys and girls from seeing each other their entire lives and then demands that they are all married by the age of 19. I do not want to come off as snarky or anything far from. I think it is sad that we cry about the shidduch crisis, the “unmarrieds” the ” older girls” and boys of course and then we continue to promulgate this false idea that they have to always be kept separate, like a taaroves shel issur or something.
It’s a riddle. Read it again & you’ll see that the most distinguishing features in the males are their careers & not their middos.
The OP is actually praising this woman, since he is mentioning how she held out despite how appealing these men are.
you’re right from this comment alone,
The other is in a top medical school and is a real ben torah.
it’s not possible to be in medical school and learn for a large part of the day
coffee addict – So IYO, you can only be a Ben Torah if you learn most of the day??!?!
I knew I was going to get that from a doctor 🙂
What’s your definition of a Ben Torah?
I knew someone that really was a Ben Torah and then he went to medical school but he always said that studying took up his whole day
Koldi – I am with you. That we can even make such jokes is a blot on our society. And to tear the story apart as if it were true – becuase we all know it can be:
Singles are so often redt shidduchim that have no shaychus whatsoever other than age and gender. And the ubiquitous “he’s a lovely boy, middos, learner, parnassah etc.” are really meaningless.
And when a girl has had one two many lousy shidduchim from good deed doers, she will feel like folks are in it for the extra money.
PBA. My wife has agreed to let me go out with any girl you set me up with, as long as we split the take 50/50. When do we start?
promulgate this false idea that they have to always be kept separate
False? It’s a halacha in Shulchan Aruch!
You don’t want to know why I think it’s a joke?
the moderators delayed your post so I didnt see it when I posted mine
coffee addict,
That’s not what you were supposed to answer; you were supposed to answer, “sure, why did you think it was a joke”.?
That’s not what you were supposed to answer; you were supposed to answer, “sure, why did you think it was a joke”.?
that would imply that i’m interested in knowing 😉
that would imply that i’m interested in knowing 😉
OK, go back to insulting me. 😉
OK, go back to insulting me. 😉
fine, if you insist
Who thinks that this story really happened and who thinks Popa made it up cuz he was bored
What does heicha timtza mean?
Fourthly, the med student is a really sweet nice frum guy, but the girl is looking for a learning guy, and he really is not.
I knew that part wasn’t true :p
when i was 23 years old, single, never formerly married, someone set me up with a guy who i refused to go out with. he was supposed to be a great guy. the example of how wonderful this guy was, was that he changes his own baby’s diapers.
another time, when i was 24, before i was smart enough to do real research of the guys, i went out with this very funny guy. when i told the shadchan no and explained why not. she told me that at the age of 24 i was way too old to be so picky and not to continue dating a self-declared, truly modern-orthodox guy. i forgot all the “kind” words this shadchan told me, but i have since repressed them deep into my psyche or else i just tuned out while she was lecturing me.
the guy didn’t have a kosher phone either, but that was before kosher phones. 🙂
point is, pickiness is in the ears of the beholder.
popa: The youngest Jewish congressman is in his forties and married. If you suggested him to me I would have punched you. 😛
I think PBA was referring to a former congressman from Queens who isn’t halachicly married.
Ah, the one whose name and reputation go so well together. Yeah, I can’t blame her for not wanting him, even before the scandal.
Too many people are looking over their shoulder at what their family or friends will say about a shidduch. Instead they should be thinking is this person a good person or are they good for me or will they be a good parent.
Unfortunitely we live in a society where status and prestige comes before real values.The education system should be teaching what marriage and parenting is really about and how to approach shidduchim.
Yes, Itche, we are very careful not to feed our children excessive amounts of nitrites. High levels have been known to cause people to inadvertently activate their electronic devices leading to an unhealthy addiction to consume very undesirable quantities of substances that have an unknown cumulative effect on the human body.
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