OCD or Worrying?

Children are known to say strange things.

I am far from being a child, but many times I ask my mother a question out of the blue. She generally makes an incorrect assumption about why I am asking the question, since the real reason is something she could not have guessed in a million years.

Uh, come to think of it, this exact scenario just happened about a week or two ago. I asked her something about why people got divorced. She assumed I was asking because I am in shidduchim and go out with guys who are divorced. I didn’t want to explain that I was having an argument with someone in the Coffee Room, so I just said that I had had a discussion with someone about the topic and was curious about it.

lilmod ulelamaid: “I didn’t want to explain that I was having an argument with someone in the Coffee Room…”

Lol! I was talking to a friend about the pareve thread today. It’s so funny how the CR spills into my daily life. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one 🙂

+1 for you too

Everyone’s mind act differently. When a child asks a question it is usually about something that she heard or saw. While to you it may seem out of context to you, to them it seem within context you just have to understand how her mind works. Children say the darnedest things. These children should be answered and it’s better that they learn it from their parents, a responsible adult then finding out from a friend.

Is implying that someone is lying and referring to himself and not to his daughter Loshon Horahm, Motzei Shem Ra or neither? Isn’t it embarrassing someone in public. I am not a member of the Shmiras Ha Loshon Squad nor am I accusing anyone of the sin. I am merely warning the posters of the possibility that they might be transgressing this sin. I look forward to your response.

Spunk-Abba- do you really?

“I look forward to your response”.

My post was in response to the following post on this thread

“Spunk – he is referring to himself/parents” If you feel this statement IS NOT Loshan Horah or Motzei Shem Ra then justify your position. Your silence is an admission of guilt.

To answer your question, Abba, I appreciate your concern with Motzi Shem Ra. However, I do not see any Motzi Shem Ra in Spunk’s comment which is why I agreed with it.

Spunk stated as follows: “I may be wrong, but it seems to me Torah4Me is referring to him/herself, not daughter… i.e. is this experience of worrying about said child’s questions common to other posters or is it possibly a manifestation of a more worrisome pattern in Torah4Me’s brain?

Torah4Me, please clarify.”

I understood that Spunk was simply explaining Torah4me’s comment and not in any way implying that Torah4me was lying, and that is why I agreed with it. I am not sure how someone can read into Spunk’s words that he/she was saying that Torah4me was lying, and I certainly did not (and still do not) suspect Spunk of doing so (which is why I agreed with him/her.)

Torah4me – that is how I understood Spunk’s comment and why I concurred with him/her. Thank you for confirming. My point in telling you about my experiences as a daughter was not to c”v convince you that you have OCD. I think it is normal for parents to worry about their children. However, I also do not think that you have anything to worry about as it is normal for kids to ask questions.

On the other hand, if you do feel that a particular child continually asks questions about a particular topic (especially if it is a sensitive topic such as death) I would think that it MIGHT make sense to try to think about why that may be so, although it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is cause for concern.

Spunk stated that Torah4me might have been referring to himself and not his daughter. If I am understanding you correctly, you took this to mean that Spunk thought that Torah4me said that he was referring to his daughter but he was really lying and referring to himself. (I’m not even sure what that means – how can you be lying about what you mean? But whatever, that’s not important)

In any case, I did not understand Spunk’s words that way at all. When he said that Torah4me might be referring to himself and not his daughter, the reason for the words, “and not his daughter” was that Spunk felt that other posters (such as myself) THOUGHT that Torah4me was referring to his daughter and he/she (Spunk) thought that WE were wrong.

In other words, the words “and not his daughter” were referring to MY misconceptions and not to any dishonesty on Torah4me’s part.

Spunk thought that I must have misunderstood Torah4me’s point since I was bringing an example as a daughter. So I had to explain to Spunk that I had not misunderstood his point, and there was a reason why I brought my example.

Based on Torah4me’s response, it seems that Spunk and I were correct in our understanding of his original post.

You write, “The question posed was should Torah4Me be concerned about the child’s behavior. Not does Torah4Me have OCD.” But as can clearly be seen from Torah4me’s last post, his concern was that he may have OCD.

So I really do not think that there is any reason whatsoever to think badly of Spunk and to assume that he/she was accusing Torah4me of lying.

But I appreciate your concern that I was speaking Motzi Shem Ra and your attempt to spare me from gehinnon. That was very kind of you.

any of which – my post or the OP?

I think that Torah4Me is still waiting for parents’ perspectives on this matter. I would be curious to know what other parents have to say.

Spunk – it was your speculation, and I thought that Torah4me concurred.

I wasn’t trying to speak for anyone else. You had pointed out that Torah4me might not be interested in my opinion as you thought that he/she wanted to hear from parents & not from daughters, so I didn’t want him/her to think we weren’t paying attention to his/her request.

I have spent a lot of time responding to your post and then explaining and reexplaining. I hope everyone understands now, and I can stop explaining and reexplaining :).

Thanks so much 🙂