No Makeup on Wedding Day?

This “new” rule has existed for years. I don’t understand why the Yeshiva World decided to make this breaking news.

And I don’t understand why the Yeshiva World posts something like this at all. Darchei Rachel is arguably the frummest ISRAELI high school in Yerushalayim, and many of their students are the type of girls who are more than happy to comply. This will not happen in any other Israeli school (proof: this incentive has been around for years and they are still the only ones who do it!)

And it goes without saying that it will not be happening in any American school, be it a seminary in Israel or high school in the U.S.

Yes there is a high school in Beit Shemesh with the same rule. It is a branch of Darchei Racehel, so it understandably has the exact same rule.

I don’t know if the incentive is still around, but I know someone from the snif who did it about 2 years ago.

Makes a lot of sense. It IS the snif. I personally know girls that want to go to that school but refuse because of that rule and because they dont except americans or israelies to American parents. Does anyone understand that rule? because I DON’T!!!!

The last time I was in Eretz Yisroel I was by a well known Rebbetzin and a kallah and her family came in for a Brocho. Though the speech of the Kallah identified her as a very frum individual, her heavy makeup and glittery cheeks seemed out of context with her refined manner. I think this is what the seminary is concerned with. The makeup of this young lady was not refined but rather garish – not at all comparable to the soft enhancing makeup worn by the frum kallahs I see in the States.

Bottom line- there does seem to be a real deoraysah mekor for married women covering their hair (From vegilcha es rosha in Parshas Naso). The only question is at what point are they married- chuppah, yichud, or a later stage. There is a clear mekor to be machmir that after the chuppah or yichud one is a nesuah, although many are meikel. Makeup is a new chumra with a much more opaque mekor, if any.

To Mod. 80, You are correct it does say that in the gemmora, but you left out a few things. Also, I would never send my child to such a school -this is crumkeit not frumkeit. I hope all the posters agree that a frum yid is someone who follows shulchan aruch, not someone who makes up chumras, to look better than someone else or for whatever reason. Why don’t they give scholarships to girls who will marry bochurim who are having a hard time getting married. Just because they don’t have a good shem isn’t a good reason. Every yid has a chezkas kashrus and more than half of what people say about these bochurim isn’t even loshon hora (true), it’s pure motzay shem rah (false). All right back to the halacha to explain why this is crum. I’ll write in English, so even the women will be able to understand. The Shulchan Aruch in Hilchos Aveilos -Yora Deah -Simon 381 -Seif 6 (some of this is based on the gemorrah in Kesubos) says: “A woman should not put on makeup & fix hair when she is during her aveilos (mourning). A married woman is just not allowed to put on makeup & fix hair during shiva, but after that she is allowed to, in order that she shouldn’t look unappealing to her husband. A Kallah who became an aveilah and is within 30 days of her marriage is allowed to put on makeup even during shiva. A Boigeres, (Girl of marriagable age- usually 12 and a half or older)(She might not even be a Kallah yet.) since she is waiting /about(Ohmedes -literally -standing) to get married, is allowed to put on makeup and do her hair.” If there was a reason or Inyan to be Machmir not to put on makeup -the Shuchan Aruch would never have said you are allowed to do it when you are during aveilos. So you see just the opposite, it is such an Inyan to put on makeup -it is Docheh (pushes off) the Issur (Prohibition) of Aveilos (mourning).

Health, if they want keep this chumrah, who are you to judge!! No one is forcing you follow it. They are many different ways to interpet the Torah. I myself love to use Makeup. If the seminary wants to institute it, Kol Hakovod. If people disagree, then they can go to another seminary that may be more geared to their needs and beliefs. We have choice.

I had a teacher in High School, who said her husband did not like his wife to use Makeup. He said when women used Makeup, they reminded him of clowns. What he said always stayed with me, but I choose to take a postive message from it. The fact that he thought his wife was beautiful without makeup, made such in impression on me. The other point I learned from this is to I try to keep my makeup done in a natural way. Light colors, rather then bold.

And that is not Lashon Hara??!!

is it really our place to judge these people?

smartmom- very good point. I don’t think they are concerned about makeup per say, as much as they are concerned HOW it’s being used.

and merely a bystander: while you might be a bystander, that was a mighty good idea! although if they are discouraging makeup in the first place, i don’t know if it would fly…

this whole article was taken word for word from Ynet’s english page.

I’m sure there was a mistranslation (intensional or not, I do not know) and the takona is probably that girls who are engaged should not wear make-up until their wedding.

none of the snif girls who are not engaged wear make-up on a daily basis (I don’t know if they are not allowed to, or its just not done) but once they are engaged some tend to.

I do not believe there is a single Kalla out there who will not wear makeup on their wedding day… there is a discussion in the gemora as to whether a kalla in the week of sheva brochos who loses a parent may wear make up or not.. surely then at the wedding there is nothing improper with wearing some.

and as for squeak who stated that he/she has been to weddings where 50% of the people wore makeup… yes, those 50% were the men.

unless he/she lives in Pakistan or Afganistan I don’t believe there are any weddings where the kalla will wear no make-up at all.

I know that I am one of those people who hates makeup i never ever wear it but on my wedding day i wanted to look good for myself and for pictures, I am not sure why this is a bad thing.

jphone – I heard that there is a yeshiva that is offering scholarships to bachurim and tuition discounts to yungerleit who can make fun of any person or topic of the yeshiva’s choosing, no matter how sincere. There’s a long line, though, so hurry up.

To mazal77,

You didn’t understand my post. If the Shulchan Aruch says something -that is the halacha. Doing opposite from the Shulchan Aruch isn’t a chumra, no matter what your seichel (sense) tells you, it’s krum and wrong. I wasn’t talking about always wearing makeup, especially if your husband doesn’t care, I was talking about in these specific cases. A kallah is one of those cases. The Shuchan Aruch says even after the wedding she should wear makeup- for sure during her wedding.

I think it is very special if those girls do it- i have been at some chasunahs that the kallah doesnt wear makeup- good for them. If in there circles they dont do it then fine. As for me- My husband once asked a chushiva well known dayen on the inyan of makeup, if you are allowed to wear makeup outside or for the husband only. and you know what his psak was???? A lady is MECHUYAV to wear makeup for her husband and if it will make him feel good that you wear makup outside too ( that she looks nice) then she MUST wear makup outside the house too. The streets outside is as dirty as they come and we must look presentable. When i look nice outside my husband feels proud of his wife. There is a very big nesoyan on the streets and it is a ladys achreis to look her best. to forgo makeup on the day of the chasunah is not for me cause who are you supposed to lood good for if not for your chassan for the first time???

To NY Mom,

You’re welcome.

To Working,

Not only is it not special, it’s wrong! If the Shulchan Aruch says it’s an Inyan to do something and you don’t do it because of your Frumme Yezer Hora, it’s not “good for them”, it’s bad for them!

BS”D

OY – I was reading a Ynet translation of the original article in the Vochediger Velt-Barimte Pashkvilke.

The correct information is that I know of a father who paid his daughter 100,000 food stamps to stay at home on her wedding night.

Perhaps this was raised already?

The original post here quotes “Moshe whose sister who studies at the seminary”. Since a seminary is named, why couldnt someone fron its hanhala have been quoted or at least asked for an explanation and of they chose not to answer, thats their business, but it can be reported?

Is this a fake seminary with a made up takannah?

The reason given is that girls were taking advantage of a policy that is relaxed “before a girls wedding”. To combat that, a monetary incentive os offered, why not enforce the rule already in place? Perhaps it isnt enforcable? Perhaps it is a takannah that the tzibbur is aino yachol lamod bo? Perhaps the “hetter” to wear makeup is a little ambiguous? With “before wedding” not being clear? Perhaps the seminary should clarify what is permitted before the wedding? Seems reasonable. Offering a financial incentive to follow a policy sounds like a parent who gives up on getting a child to clean their room and offering an ice cream to do so. Is that the chinuch method of this seminary?

This sounds so bizarre, I really think this is made up.

If this is a REAL seminary, why does the entire story center around the words of “Moshe whose sister attends the seminary”?

Mepal, whether you are serious or not, is hard to tell (at least I cant tell). But if this is a legitimate story, “Moshe, whose sister attends the seminary” doesnt exactly sound very reliable.

I bet they only sold it to married folks.

I am more interested in knowing which Daas Torah they asked before implementing this. Which Rabbonim approved this?

They have a psak from “Moshe, whose sister attends the seminary”.

He received his semicha from “Yankel whose sister is married to a bachur from Tel Aviv, who has a sister in law who attends this seminary”.

How much money are they offering for a choson not to get a haircut, not to take a shower the month before his wedding and not to buy a new suit or shoes, but to wear old ragged ones?

This whole line of thought is making me blush. Oh wait – that resembles makeup, so maybe it’s assur. I sometimes wonder what people are thinking when they make some of these types of pronouncements. I doubt that Hashem wants girls to appear unnattractive to their husbands. Most girls, Jewish or otherwise, DO benefit from a little cosmetic help. The key word is LITTLE. Ungepotchket is not appropriate no matter who the girl is.