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why is it that whenever i let myself think at night, i end up depressing myself? does anyone else have that? like heres my brain:
k, time to go to bed! hmm… should i wear my pink pj shirt or red? actually, why does it matter? with my acne i cant look cute anyways… hmmm, maybe my acne is what caused x to drop me and hook up with some other friends… or maybe its cuz im too hyper?
k, im not going to give you the full thing but seriously, im only this lacking in self esteem at night. whats up with that?
Dont worry, i think thinking creepy things at night is one of those teen things….like i wonder about the meaning of life, and what happens after you die and stuff…..
Ur thoughts sound bttr than mine!
Maybe you should get a few pairs of the same color of pajamas. Avoid the whole problem, eh?
It’s very common to have anxiety at nighttime. Follow some of the suggestions in the insomnia thread and see what happens.
If you’re really struggling with self-esteem, try counseling. There is no shame in it and I will tell you that there is literally not a single person in this world who would not be helped by it. Many people stay away because of the stigma, which is so unfortunate. Your local Jewish Family Services can refer you to someone and you can also check Nefesh, the database of frum therapists, for someone in your area.
I find that reading before going to bed helps me go to sleep faster and avoid all that weird stuff ur talking about.
read something every night. preferably something marginally interesting. keep it on your night table so it becomes routine.
just get used to it… ur human, its natural. learn to live with yourself!
Before you go to bed is the best time to keep a chesbon hanefesh.
Mrs. Sara Yoheved Rigler says that you chesbon hanefesh should validate you rather than depress. So she says for every wrong thing you did that day think of 4 good things you did. Yes, even those you are expected to do, still it is a big deal! When there are those things which are black and white wrong look at where this is coming from. Dont beat yourself up about it. Give yourself an alotted charatah time and after that no more! This is a productive way to end your day.
In psychology this is known as “rumination.” There might be other terms, but that is one. It is a common thing for one negative thought to lead to another.
Rumination is a habit under your voluntary control and you can stop it, with effort (and prayer).
I recommend reading Jewish sources on positive thinking and how to avoid negative thoughts. If you google “Don’t dwell on bad thoughts or desires at all” and “Search for your good points in order to make yourself happy,” you will find chapters from Likutei Eitzos, which contain a lot of chassidic teachings on this and similar topics.
I’m sure there is a lot of good material written by psychologists for the general public on this topic, too.
Hatlzacha! Lots of people deal with similar issues, but many have overcome them through education, effort and prayer. You can do it too.
night time is definitely when my mind goes into high speed. It’s when i rehash, thing deeply into miscellaneous thoughts, contemplate life, think over things i didn’t have time or need to consider when they came up, etc etc etc. Sometimes its amusing, sometimes sad, sometimes contemplative and curious, sometimes philosophical!
While it’s not a sign of a big scary thing, it can be rather bothersome all by itself.
Two possible solutions:
1. Learn some deep breathing techniques, and use them to quiet that racing mind down.
2. Like other people on the list, I read. Use a nightlight to read something familiar or slightly boring. that will keep your mind occupied without causing you to think.
3. Find some restful music (probably something classical) that you like and listen to that.
DON’T check your email, smartphone, ipad, or whatever for at least half an hour before you go to bed. The light that electronic devices give off affects the brain to make you stay awake.
And don’t worry about it so much. Lots of people have minor problems like that. The whole idea that if you’re “normal” you don’t have any problems or quirks at all was invented by the people who sell pills.
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