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I am so irritable. A real kvetch. I feel nuts. At this point, in my last few weeks I cannot sleep a good nights sleep, and cannot remember things, cannot concentrate, do not have patience. Every little task takes 3 x the koach. The sound of the Kids fighting sends me into an anxiety attack.
Mothers out there…what did you do? I want a glass of wine!!!
Maybe I should take a herbal remedy ? I must chill out. I feel depressed and sad too. I get this every time at the end of a pregnancy.
Appreciate any advice.
well first b’shah tovah,
can your husband do more around the house or maybe he can help you relax in other ways
First of all you should know all your feelings are perfectly normal!! next you must try to get some sleep somehow!! you need to do whatever you can to relax! your very special moment is coming soon……… I would love to hear from cum laude; I am sure she will have some great advice for you! bshah tova umitzlochas!!!
Obviously someone out there knows that I have what to say about this topic…Okay, Always runs with scissors fast, now, may be the time to slow the pace a bit and stop running. For starters, you say you have had this previously, so how did you cope in the past? Did you learn something about what triggers you or what patterns set off your anxious thoughts? Hormones are surging during pregnancy, and especially towards the end a lot of women go through some mood swings which, as long as you can function through, are par for the course. If they cause extreme irritability, seek help and let your doctor know. Check your thyroid if this continues after the birth. There are other options you can take and I will be more specific soon. If you cant sleep, know this is hormonal, don’t make a big deal about it by staying put and trying. This will actually make it harder. Try not to think about “how I will not be able to function tomorrow without sleep etc, Im going to crack up, or snap etc. my mind cant focus..” because those very thoughts will actually cause even more panic. Do you know that the body actually doesnt need as much sleep as we think? Moreover, your body, (and trust it) will actually take whatever it needs for survival. So be it a quick cat nap on the couch or for two hours when the kids leave to school,(and skip the starch on the shirts..)your wonderful amazing body will take what it needs. Believe in it and it will serve you. Be afraid of it and it will become anxious, unsure and insecure about all that is to come. Especially the time before birth women who are always in control tend to “lose it” because birth and whatever comes along with it creates the feeling of the unknown, lack of control, not knowing how labor will be etc. will my doctor be there…. all those can wreck havoc in a woman’s thoughts, so close to birth. So instead of thinking into the future, about things which we really have little control of, take some secure thoughts about things that you do have control of such as your breathing or your nutrition, or taking a walk around the block so you keep your vitality up before delivery. Yes, the kids are kvetchy, you are irritable, everyone perceives this differently according to their specific threshold. Sometimes all systems get lit and the switchboard feels like its on fire! But take the secure thought that this is temporary and you have been down this path before. Perhaps you need to lower those expectations for perfection a bit especially now. Believe me I have been there, making sure the hampers are empty every night, making sure everything is ready so when you go in to the hospital,things are all set… To some degree “nesting” is normal behavior for a woman before birth, but our society and culture has driven us over the edge in some ways. Hashem is giving you the opportunity now to delegate jobs and not be so in control of every pulse in the house, please take those opportunities and let go and stretch a little so you dont deplete yourself before you need your real energy. Find a balance and give the rest to Hashem and it will fall into place. You might discover that you can give yourself permission to relax and not worry. You will handle it and get through it. Make sure you have good support and create a birth plan or even hire a doula so you have the best shot at having a successful, empowering birthing experience. Start some Omega fish oils and some extra B12 if you are already not on them. If your anxiety escalates or you want to speak with a trained person, call SPARKS at 718-2-SPARKS. They have a wonderful anonymous hotline that you can call 24/6 and will be very surprised at the support and info you will get. I believe this week there is a teleconference on Wed nite get on and just listen. The next week there is a teleconference on Pregnancy and self care for during and beyond, dealing with depression, anxiety etc. Call that number and you can get the number and pin for the conference. It is all FREE. Perinatal Depression is when depression or anxiety hits you during pregnancy, as opposed to Postpartum(after birth) Please dont just suffer or ignore your symptoms. There is great help out there, I know it feels mental, but it is PHYSICAL. Perinatal and postpartum issues are hormonal imbalances that GET BETTER! I know you are having trouble coping right now, but call that number and they will give you some advice for coping through this, and truly assess it. The best of luck. I will be looking for your thread to see how you are doing.
Not to be discouraging, but don’t think it’s much better those first few weeks after birth. Just take one day at a time.
Please don’t take herbal remedies without speaking to your doctor. Ask your doctor what he suggests. Maybe you could try a maternity massage, reflexology (foot massage), soothing music, aromatherapy, breathing techniques, meditative yoga, or other type of relaxation techniques. If your doctor allows it you might try acupuncture or acupressure.
B’shah tovah!
You sound very normal, and as a mamin says, you need to figure out a way to get some sleep — it makes a big difference.
Also, find ways to “escape” and relax, even if it means taking a slightly longer than usual shower and breathing slowly, or going for a short walk at night when it’s quite.
It always helped me to have friends to kvetch to who knew what I was feeling — but maybe that’s just cause I’m a kvetch!
A friend of mine once said “the purpose of the ninth month is to make you want to give birth!” — so true! Just remember gam zeh yaavar.
Herbal supplements may be helpful but NEVER take any medication (yes, herbal medications also affect your body chemically) without running it by your doctor first to make sure it’s ok. There are actually many herbal supplements that are NOT safe for pregnancy (although many are).
Good luck!
Always runs…:
You forgot some important ones: you can’t breathe, you have heartburn after eating one piece of bread, itchy stomach, kvetchy back and legs and veins from lugging a watermelon around, etc.
Besides hormones, all these physical ouches can make you irritable, too! 🙁
B’sha’ah tova! 🙂
Airies – you took the words out of my mouth. I was also going to suggest a massage. There are many massage therapists who sub-specialize in treating pregnant women. If you have a good massage and still don’t feel right after a couple of days, then I would suggest a visit to your doctor. I suspect that the doctor would tell you all is normal and that each pregnancy is different. B’H’ the last few weeks should pass very quickly and that you soon shall be the mother of another happy and healthy child.
yoga? meditation?
cum laude – Your post sounds like you’re a student in some sort of social work or psychology program. The CR isn’t the best place to try out what you learned. How about suggesting she go see a mental health professional?
Health, I believe cum laude is a psychiatrist.
Health: I can not give out Cum Laudes identity but I will vouch for her, she is NOT A STUDENT!(Not a psychiatrist either!)
Or the name that Health has given to him or herself??
always – “its a little over done and weird you’re advice is to give me to see a mental health professional”
I sorry, but I never posted that or had an opinion on that. But now I’m begining to think that maybe you should. My post clearly states that Cum Laude should post that instead of trying to practice psychology over the net, which he/she is clearly trying to do.
“After all your name is Health.”
Because I’m a health/medical professional, no matter what the opinion of some posters are here.
You may find want to look for sound advice on imamother.
Beshaa Tova!
get a mother’s helper for afternoon, bedtime routine. help with laundry, dishes, etc. maybe you can get out with hubby once a week for dinner. take day by day and smell the roses. hatzlocha and bsh’a tova.
Health: Are you trying to advertise your so called “profession ” on this site? Cum Laude does not need any advertising, she barely has time to breathe!! I find her to be extremely professional and helpful!! Pity you are antogonized by her vast knowledge in the field!
You got some great advice. DO not take ANY herbal ANYTHING without a doc’s OK. Medicine comes from many herbs, and just because it is “natural” does not make it safe for a fetus.
Try listening to soothing SLOW music. GET A MOTHER’S HELPER for a few hours daily (if possible). There are many students who will help out a pregnant woman with her other kids for the chessed hours they need to complete their term. Go to a quiet place where the kids cannot bother you for at least an hour. Put your feet up, sip a refreshing drink, juice or water, and close your eyes.
B’shaa tova u’mutzlachas to you. I hope you have an easiy, safe delivery of a beautiful, healthy baby.
cum laude – Your post sounds like you’re a student in some sort of social work or psychology program. The CR isn’t the best place to try out what you learned. How about suggesting she go see a mental health professional?
unbelievable, but not surprising at all.
“doctor” heal thyself
I’ll second, third or whatever – NO REMEDIES.
Ask your dr. if it’s ok to try Celestial Seasoning’s Tension Tamer tea, even it’s all in your head.
All the good advice other people gave you.
Try to get a mother’s helper. If possible, give YOURSELF a time out with a book, deep breathing, crossword puzzle, etc.
Remote possibility but ask your dr. to test your thyroid.
Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing. reread the answer from cum laude when you need chizuck. hatzlucha!!!
Anything we eat, drink or inhale can have effects that help or harm. Herbs and food supplements sometimes pass under the radar-The Government can’t ban them easily and people think they must be safe.
Many products such as Fish Oil can affect bleeding. Please check with a qualified MD. This might even be true for the Israeli product that lies about these details.
Im not in my ninth month and my kids can get on my nerves but thats what mommies are for arent we??? dont worry it doesnt get easier when they are older!! enjoy every minute now as it comes!
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