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My 8 month old is still sleeping in my bed. I tried at 4 months to put him in the crib but every time he woke up so did my 7 year old, who did not like it. So he came back into my bed. Now I nurse him to sleep but every time I get out of bed he wakes up. I tried letting him “cry it out” for a daytime nap, he scrame for an hour straight until I could take it no more. Now what do I do?! Please help – I need my sanity back!!!
Dr. Richard Ferber discusses and outlines a wide range of practices to teach an infant to sleep. The term ferberization is now popularly used to refer to the following techniques:
* Take steps to prepare the baby to sleep. This includes night-time rituals and day-time activities.
* At bedtime, leave the child in bed and leave the room.
* Return at progressively increasing intervals to comfort the baby (without picking him up). For example, on the first night, some scenarios call for returning first after three minutes, then after five minutes, and thereafter each ten minutes, until the baby is asleep.
* Each subsequent night, return at intervals longer than the night before. For example, the second night may call for returning first after five minutes, then after ten minutes, and thereafter each twelve minutes, until the baby is asleep.
The technique is targeted at infants as young as 4 months of age. A few babies are capable of sleeping through the night at 3 months, with training, and most are capable of sleeping through the night at 6 months. Before 6 months of age, the baby may still need to feed during the night and it is probable that the baby will require a night feeding before three months.
Ferber made some modifications in the 2006 edition of his book Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems. He is now more open to co-sleeping and feels different approaches work for different families/children
As Groucho Marx said, you need a sanity clause.
“Scrame” is NOT a word!!!
But on the topic, the Ferber method works well. Just do it now, because the older they get, the harder it’ll be!
Try the book “baby Wise” it B”h worked for me.
At bedtime, give the baby a bottle, even if you’re nursing exclusively. He may not be full enough to fall into a deep sleep.
Try using rescue remedy – put a few drops on baby’s wrists before bedtime. It works. Hatzlocho
Why is the baby in your bed anyway and not in a crib of his own even if he is in your room? I agree to give him a bottle in the middle of the night if you insist on going in to him, but water it down and keep watering it down until you give him only water in the middle of the night and then just leave a water bottle in the corner of the crib so he can take it for himself if he wakes up and wants it.
In addition, maybe you should move your 7 year old out until you get the baby to sleep through the night.
“he scrame for an hour straight until I could take it no more.”
Please dont let your child scream for a full hour. Its unacceptable.
My kids are always in my bed..but I sleep so I really cant empathize with you but…
a friend had the same problem and wanted her baby out!
put an unwashed nightgown or other piece of clothing UNWASHD into crib so the baby is comforted by the odor of his mom and thinks she is nearby..
i usually wait until my baby is around 1 years old – sometimes a little before, but when i know that my baby truly isn’t hungry in the middle of the night. then i first wean my baby from nursing in the middle of the night. i’ll snuggle her when she cries, so even if she cries, i know that she’s not feeling abandoned. can take 1-2 weeks till she totally knows that she does not eat in middle of night. then about a month later – if she’s not sick, teething, etc. i wean her into a different room – much, much easier then.
right now, with my little baby, i first put her to sleep in crib in her room – when she awakens, she’ll come to my room. what i also do at times is put them for nap in their room, then at least get used to that room as being theirs, so is not as traumatic.
Is it bothering you to have your baby in your bed? Many women find it easier, especially when nursing to keep the baby in their bed so they can sleep at night and if the baby wakes up, he can just eat in bed while you basically sleep. If in fact you are having trouble sleeping with a baby in your bed, many women I’ve spoken to have had success with the Ferber method. (I’ve used a modified version on my kids, but they stayed in my bed till an older age.)
Feberization has worked well here too. I also suggest putting the baby in a room alone until he’s sleeping through the night. It might take a few nights but it doesn’t usually take longer than that You can do it without a bottle–my babies didn’t drink bottles at that age. I was just careful to make sure they were well fed before putting them to bed.
m in Israel~ “…but they stayed in my bed till an older age.”
same here
Keep in mind that as long as a baby smells you they want you. So if the baby is in your room but sleeps in a crib or pack ‘n play he might sleep better and so may you. If he moves around and bumps into you or comes near you and smells you that might wake him up and want you. So even if he wakes up in the crib in your room, hearing your voice or your husband’s shushing him back to sleep might be enough comforting knowing that your are nearby and he is not alone. Only you will really know what will work for your baby. But as baby gets bigger and moves around more he is also more aware of his surroundings and it will be harder to move him out of your bed.
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