My Rebbi ZT"L was niftar and I'm lost

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  • #611844
    yose
    Member

    The only rebbi I’ve had for any kind of guidance was niftar. I was extremely close to him for almost 20 years with him guiding me in virtually every major and minor life decision. I now have no one else I am close to that comes even remotely close to that relationship. Sure I have a shul rov and a posek who answers routine shailos. But as much as I love and respect them, and accept their routine direction, I don’t feel that strong kesher. There is virtually no one that I could call anytime of the day or evening about events large or small that I desperately need guidance on. A rebbi that I am close to. In short, I am completely lost.

    #998265
    ronrsr
    Member

    very sorry for your loss.

    #998266
    amichai
    Participant

    also very sorry for your loss.

    #998267
    Ofcourse
    Member

    Sorry as well. But its comforting to hear that there potentially are/were others besides R’ Blumenkrantz a”h who people other than family members have/had a real kesher with. Since his death I feel orphaned. Suggestions anyone?

    #998268
    DaMoshe
    Participant

    It says Asei L’cha Rav – so get yourself a new Rav!

    I once heard that when the Chofetz Chaim was niftar, R’ Elchonan zt”l went to R’ Baruch Ber zt”l and said his Rebbe was niftar, so he wanted R’ Baruch Ber to be his new Rebbe!

    Find yourself a new Rebbe to guide you. Obviously you should feel the loss of your previous Rebbe, but you should not go on without one.

    #998269
    yose
    Member

    The question is how does one “find yourself a new Rebbe”. You can’t start with the yellow pages. And even after you find someone you previously had no kesher with, can you start calling him and/or visiting him twice or more every week for guidance?

    Thanks all.

    #998270
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    The question is how does one “find yourself a new Rebbe”.

    Without knowing any specifics, I assume your Rebbe had his own Rebbe, who had many Talmidim. That’s where I would start, with a talmid of your Rebbe’s Rebbe who has a similar outlook in life.

    #998271
    cherrybim
    Participant

    Start with your Rebbe’s son, if he is in the parsha.

    #998272
    DaMoshe
    Participant

    yose, you’re correct, it isn’t easy. A kesher isn’t something that comes instantly. It can take years to form a real kesher.

    Part of mourning is realizing what we’ve lost. We are supposed to mourn for a Rebbe muvhak just like for a relative – we tear keriyah for it! Just like you can’t replace a parent, you can’t replace a Rebbe.

    I think gavra had some good advice. A talmid from the same rebbe as your rebbe would be a good idea, or a talmid muvhak of your rebbe.

    Hatzlochah!

    #998273
    a mamin
    Participant

    Unfortunately, been there….. No one can replace the previous dor. BUT it is very important to find a new Rebbe or you will be lost!

    May we only hear besiras tovos in Klal Yisroel.

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