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“If we treat every potential tzniyus issue (a bekiyus) as a major problem and block it out, then we’re just training boys and men to see every women as a source of tayvoh…”
Unfortunately, that mindset seems to have taken hold within a very limited set of CR participants who regularly post “tzinius alerts” and/or start a new thread on the ‘tzinius outrage de jeur” or blaming some natural tragedy on failure of women to be sufficiently observant of hilchos tzinius.
By goyim, they believe that they can be “platonic” and be “just friends” with members of the opposite gender. Women especially think this is possible. They convince themselves that they are viewing a particular woman as just another person, absent any hormonal response whatsoever. This is a delusion from the yatzer hora, as if a man is being self aware, he would see that even the way he talks to female cashiers in the most casual of circumstances is very different in tone and content than what he would say if said cashier would have been a man.
Avira, in Kesuvas, Rav Acha danced with a kallah on his shoulders seeing her as a beam.
Pacman, have you never heard a misheberach for a sick person, or for a sick woman or for a yoledes? Is that not public?
Isn’t it up to each family to determine whether or not the mother’s name is included on the invite? Different families have different traditions when it comes to this issue.
Reb E, teshuvaso betzidah – that was the lofty madrega of an amorah. No one today is capable of this; if memory serves, the neiri says already in his time that it’s unattainable
Can someone rationally explain how the mother’s name is a tznius issue?
Rav nachman of breslov, one of if not the foremost sources on kedushas habris writes even about himself that he was only able to reach the point where he detected no difference in his speech when speaking with women after many, many years of tireless work…the likes of which the average man comfortable with his miserable state can not fathom
When people writes “uvnei beiso”, they are certainly referring to the wife, not to the siblings at all. Chazal say “beiso – zu ishto”.
Many rebbes don’t mention their wives in any form on the invitation. Interestingly, the widowed grandmothers often have their own little invitation box on the back – and they sometimes sign with their full names.
anonJ > how the mother’s name is a tznius issue?
How do we say misheberech lately? In my shtetl, they still use mother’s name of the choleh. How do they do in your enlighted lands? Reminds of a shidduch date between TalKa and EliKaKu
Rav Yohanan would sit near a mikva so that women look at him, while they were for him “like white geese”. He still did not pretend talking to women same as to men.
In truth, this is a little inappropriate. You should talk to each person in his ways. You talk differently to a T’Ch or to a farmer, or to professor, or to a professor T’Ch … So, talking to women same way as men is also inappropriate (“if you had a sister, would she have liked gefilte fish”).
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