- This topic has 116 replies, 48 voices, and was last updated 5 years, 8 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
BP Totty
Honda makes them with Jews in mind I’m telling you 😉
Even the word Odyssey sounds better with a Chassidish accent!
I know someone who was waiting in front of BMG for her husband and some other guy comes into the car! She says “er, um, I think, you kinda have the wrong car…” Boy did he get out of there fast!
Dunno
He had the right car, wrong driver lol!
I was coming home from a friends house with some heavy bags. i happened to be wearing a really junky skirt because we were working on some things. on the way home the elastic on the top of my skirt breaks off, like 5 feet away from a bunch of old russian guys walking opposite me. i dropped my bags soo fast, grabbed my skrt and ran down the block looking crazy.. those russians stared at me running like i was a lunatic. i guess i kinda looked like one!
My mother wis sitting in a doctor’s waiting room when my baby brother grabes her sheitel and runs into the men’s bathroom!
In the Mesivta that I went to, the secretary is the only female person in the entire building. So when she needs to use the bathroom, she uses the Rebbe’s.
One day, a Rebbe was walking with a bunch of Bochrim talking in learning. They came to the bathroom and the Rebbe unlocked the door. (This Rebbe is more of the absent-minded type and I guess he forgot to knock.) And yes, the secretary was inside…
d a
I have a similiar one! We were at the zoo with the family one chol hamoed and my mother was standing a bit too close to the monkey cage. One of the monkeys grabbed her wig and ran to the back of the cage with it!!! We had to get one of the workers to go inside and get it for her while she stood with her hands on top of her head screaming (which made things worse the screaming just attracted more attention!)
da
That poor secretary! I wouldve quit my job and never come back to that building again!
BEST IMA, crazy!!!
d a
Wow these stories are painful!
She opens the door and gets in. I (with my head dropped to the steering wheel) say, “sorry, you’ve got the wrong car.”
That was precisely what happened to my dad O”H one late night after work. He had driven as he always did to the main Post Office in Brooklyn, that was open very late at night. he left my mom in the car, and then when he came back, got into the car, and could not understand why the key wouldn’t work after several frustrating tries. He looked up at my mom, only to discover he was sitting next to a black woman, who said, “Mister, you is in da wrong car!” (sorry if I am not being politically correct). He had gone into the identical looking car that was parked directly in front of his, and what is really hysterical, is that he never noticed it was not my mom in the car with him.
oomis i cant stop laughing from that one!! All these stories are bringing back memories! An older uncle of mine couldnt drive anymore so he told my husband to come take his car. He couldnt get out of bed so he gave my hub the key. The car wouldnt start so my hub and daughter got out cables and tried jumping it. All of a sudden a guy comes running up to them waving a broom yelling that theyre stealing his car! It was a neighbor with the identical car they tried to take the wrong one! My kids got a good laugh out of that one my husband is a rav and to get caught trying to steal someones car well, we teased him alot about that one!
BEST IMA
Thats why I love keyless entry and all that.
My uncle was once in an amusement park on Chol Hamoed and a Chassidish lady was on the bumper cars when she got hit really hard and her shaitel flew off. The non-Jew manning the booth started freaking out thinking that her hair flew cleanly off her scalp.
My BIL and his friend own the same car. They were once walking down the street together talking about some feature of the car. BIL said he couldn’t figure something out so his friend said that he’d show it to him when they got to his car. Two minutes later, they arrived at the car and at the sound of the door unlocking (keyless entry), BIL opened it and got in. His friend followed him in and they started discussing this feature that BIL couldn’t understand. Not a minute later, a guy sticks his head in the car and asks, “What are you doing in my car?” BIL turns to his friend and says, “Isn’t this your car?” His friend answers, “I thought it was yours!” Well, they got themselves out of that car faster than lightning!
er, BPTotty… I was the woman who gingerly opened the car door, slid into the seat, and looked up only to realize the wrong man was in the driver’s seat… meanwhile my husband was watching just a couple of cars behind – and laughing his head off…
Vnishmartem this is getting better by the minute!!! BY Totty is going to flip out when he reads that! He was hoping you werent in the CR reading what he wrote!
When I first got married I used to commute from Lakewood to NYC. I would sit on the bus for 2 hours and since I was not used to my shaitel – it was very uncomfortable. So the minute I got home I used to quickly change into an alternate head convering.
One day (about 3 weeks after I got married and not so used to having my hair covered all the time) I got home – threw off the shaitel and went to get a tichel. My husband had done the laundry – so the tichels were not in their regular place. I went to get one and got distracted by the raw chicken waiting on the counter and started making supper. I realized I didn’t have veggies – so decided to go to Shoprite. I went to the car – and while I was openning the door – I saw my reflection in the window and totally freaked out. I had left without anything on my head. Luckily there were only a few little boys outside who saw me shrieking and pulling my coat over my head.
I can laugh now (its been 20 years!) – but I was literally shaking for hours and convinced that everybody must have seen me from the windows.
I once knocked down a container of blueberries in a fruit store when I was about 4 years old. It still haunts me to this day!
The stories just get better and better…
Nurse – I posted before -“BTW, you CAN’T always scrub out, even though you can scrub in again -there are times you just can’t leave.” You can if you can leave the pt., but you can’t always leave. Scrubs and hair & shoe coverings have nothing to do with sterility -they just make things cleaner. The only sterile part is your gloves and gown. Also, the tools, equip, and drapes, but that’s not on you.
It was a very windy day and my mother was on 13th Ave when her wig flew off… and flew down the block… and into the middle of the road- with continuous oncoming traffic. Every man in the vicinity was chasing that wig, with my mother just standing there, rooted to her spot, freaking out.
This happened many years ago, yet I still have a bit of paranoia just thinking of this horror story.
Rexal, vnishmartemmeod, it was a few years ago, and I did’nt have an Oddesy then.
This mixup happens each summer (but thankfully, I was not in any of them!)
Maybe you could say life has matured me beyond the point of experiencing embarassment but I can’t say that I would feel shame or true embarassment from many of these stories. Especially not getting in the car of a big rav or rebbe, accidentally. I am the type of lady that would maybe gasp and look the guy in the eye and say OH I AM SO SORRY I THOUGHT I WAS GETTING INTO MY HUSBANDS CAR. I Made a mistake.
I think people are pretty human and can accept alot of these situations.
BPT – This is probably one of the most common mishaps… although it did happen to me a few years ago… I remember my husband ROFL more than it being “embarrasing”… (He was watching it happen!)
This isn’t really outside but… Basically I needed a haircut and two people in the city have the first and last same name. My principal and the haircut lady. I called my principal instead of the lady and started asking her for a haircut. She is the strictest lady on the planet earth and very rough-someone who never really smiles. She was like um… one second, hoping I would realize my mistake. You bet I did and didn’t want to go to school the next day.
Funny how these stories are bringing back memoreis. Thanks, everyone, for jump-starting my brain again.
My mom O”H once stood on her tiptoes, under a chandelier, and when she came back down flat on erh feet, her shaitel stayed on the chandelier crystal on which it got caught. This happened in front of a large group of people who were at her home celebrating the silver anniversary of one of the couples present there.
Also, I once went out of the supermarket and tried my car key, only to discover I could not get the car open. I ended up setting off the alarm, when I realized to my horror thast it was NOT MY car (I am nothing if not my father’s daughter). I quickly went to look for my car (which was completely different from this one, ebcause I forgot I was not driving the minivan that day, and tried again, without success to get the door open, when I suddenly realized, this too, was not my car, and it only was identical to mine in make and model. Mine was actually a few cars down. In all fairness, I had my baby with me, and was a little distracted, but BOY, was I embarrassed. One of the workers in the store was on a break and witnessed the whole proceeedings and was laughing his fool head off!
oomis- thats very funny! Reminds me when i was a little girl and my family was getting back in the car and i wanted to get the front seat so i ran ahead to the car and waited near it with my face pressed against the glass- then i saw 2 men staring at me from inside. To me they looked very scary (they are actually 2 chassidish men) i could not figure out what they were doing in our car until i realized i had the wrong car. I mean how many gray station wagons can there be:) I was very embarrased as well as frightened.
THE absolute worst most embarassing moment I ever had socially was about 14 years ago. I saw a neighbour who had been expecting.She looked ready to drop a baby any day. Anyways, one day I see her coming home with her husband. They were getting out of the car, coming up the steps and I said hello. Then I went further, and in a real friendly voice, smiling, I asked “Hey, did you have your baby”?
There was the most uncomfortable feeling and silence for a second and then she said “Yes but he died”. Then she broke down crying and ran for her door, sobbing hysterically all the way. I felt so terrible.
I learned from this lesson to NEVER EVER ask questions until I first hear about a simcha of a birth. Until the news reaches me, I DO NOT INQUIRE!
Unfortunately the situation with that neighbor was such that I was so uncomfortable in what transpired I did not even have the strength to reach out to her, by paying her a visit or dropping in to deliver a cake.
We avoided one another until she moved. And her husband kept on giving me a weird feeling or dirty look, i felt.
this just happened today and taught me a valuable lesson. A sales person came into my office to speak to my boss’s husband who was out of the office. The secretary asked him to reschedule but he said he came all the way from florida and had ‘a flight to israel’ that night and he insisted on waiting. After about an hour of trying to call my bosses husband and to no avail. The secretary emailed me and asked me to come in and say to her (in a loud enough voice for him to hear) “Mr. X just texted me he is held up in court and must reschedule.” Two seconds later I turn around to go back to my office and guess whos walking through the door….my bosses husband!!! needless to say my boss and I laughed for the rest of the day and we decided its crucial to have a code just in case one of us ever needs to be bailed out of a situation!!! lesson learnt….u lie, ull prob embarrass urself!!!
I was picking up my nephews from the Lakewood Cheder at 2:00, The yeshiva on the same block leaves for lunch at 2:00 also.
There was a lady walking to pick up her kids, when her snood blew off!! she continued walking some more until she realized what happened, she had to go back down the block teaming with men to pick up her snood!
Almost as bad as asking about a birth (where there was lo aleinu a bad result), is when someone comes up to you and asks when the baby is due – and he was born six months ago!!!!!
I once dropped a package off at UPS, then went back to my car (or so I thought) — opened the door, started to sit down. There was not a strange woman in the passenger seat, but there was a strange man in the driver’s seat, looking shocked that I had opened his car door and was about to plop myself down on his lap.
i was once late for a flight and they started calling my name over the loudspeaker as i was in line for security, so asked if i can skip the line and i ran thru but i didnt have time to tie my shoes or put my belt on , as i was running up the escalators(while holding my pants up) i tripped on my shoelace and me and my pants hit the floor. i had the wind knocked out of me and it took like a minute before i realized that i was laying at the top of the escalator with my pants down and a crowd of like ten people laughing there heads off boy was i embarrassed
ktc- wow. that is soooo bad it’s HYSTERICAL!!!! ohmygosh!
Embarassing stories gravitate to me.
Last week i got an email from my the head of the lab where I work ,that he was giving a lecture on Friday. When I arrived, not everyone had gotten there yet, and my (non-Jewish) boss turned to me casually and asked “What music do you listen to? I’m always looking for new music”. I was so taken aback by the question and who it was coming from, that I had to ask him to repeat 2or 3 times before I understood what he meant. I sure wasnt going to say “The Miami Boys Choir”, so I quietly suggested “The Maccabeats”, hoping he’d just nod and smile.
Nope! To my mortification, he whipped out his iphone, and typed in “the maccabeats”.
Baruch Hashem the internet wasnt working, so it didn’t go through.
45 minutes later, my boss was deeply involved in giving over his lecture, with 10 other brilliant important-looking scientists seriously engrossed. When, all of a sudden, my boss’s phone started ringing
Except nobody was calling him. The Maccabeat’s “Al Hanisim” was blasting out of my Indian boss’s pants pocket in front of 12 other non-Jews.
I think it’s pretty safe to say that he won’t be asking my advice on music anytime soon.
kapusta-
it’s an FDA approved drug for second-line treatment of Mantle Cell Lymphoma and Multiple Myeloma. 🙂
bortezomib: I want to personally thank you for making my name seem with good taste. 🙂
In elementary school our Rebbi took us bowling.
After we left someone pointed out that I was still wearing my bowling shoes. A nice Bais Medrash guy took me back to get my sneakers.
It was in Florida about 2 weeks ago. One older lady on my block asked me if i can tell all the heimish women that i see, that there will be a shiur on shabbos afternoon and it’s an amazing speaker so they should all come. I did my duties and told the ladies which I saw about the shiur. I met one woman on my block and told her about the shiur.. she was happy that I informed her and asked what time it is going to be. I told her the time and commented that “It’s supposed to be a great speaker” she said “wow, i’m really looking forward and i’ll try my best to come”- her daughter at her side burst out laughing while assuring me that her mother would attend. I was too curious and asked why she laughed. At first she ignored me and then said “that amazing speaker is gonna be my mom”
cookie:
That was my sister and niece. They told me this story also.
My niece was making it up to be funny, my sister really wasn’t the speaker.
I guess it wasn’t because I myself attended the speech and lo and behold it was that woman and she really was AMAZING!
But when cookies went to the shiur, the lady she met earlier was in fact the speaker. I guess his story wasn’t your sister and niece after all.
I guess it wasn’t because I myself attended the speech and lo and behold it was that woman and she really was AMAZING!
I can’t explain that. I don’t have an answer for everything.
well, in my incident it wasn’t your sister except if your brother n’law is the the Rav of the shul there.
popa- what a wise statement, best you’ve said all year!
The following story occurred years ago when I was in Seminary.
We arrived back in seminary at midnight after a big trip. We went to Yam Hamelech, Ein Gedi etc.. Most of the girls went straight back into the dorm, while some girls stayed outside unpacking the busses. The busses were unpacked so they left. A bunch of girls stayed outside to schmooze.
Meanwhile a crowd gathered as there was no action on the little quiet street. They made everyone were still outside step back and asked them if they know whose bag it was. The girls ran inside the school yelling did anyone leave a bag outside?
I know I am reviving an old thread, but I just read the whole thread and liked it so much I decided to add on a funny story.
I have an uncle who I can sit a whole night and tell stories about him and still not finish. Well, he is always has guests over for Yom Tov meals and many times the guests are not frum at all. One Yom Tov in the morning whilst he is still asleep he gets a phone call. He picks up the phone and the guest is on the line asking for directions how to get to his house. My uncle answers in a sleepy voice that he cannot give directions as it is Yom Tov and he cannot talk on the phone!!! (Without realizing he was talking on the phone. Only after he hung up did he realize what he had just done and said)
I was just in the shuk and absentmindedly tried to pay for my produce with my Rav Kav…
Speaking of Rav Kavs (for the unaware, they’re Israel’s answer to the MetroCard used on the bus and light rail), on chol hamoed Sukkos I was taking the light rail to Geula at about eight PM (NEVER EVER DO THIS). The train was packed to the gills and my friends and I were jammed against the back wall. There was no room to breathe in the train, but people kept on trying to pile in because the next train was due in another ten minutes. When people are jammed in the doorway the doors can’t close and the train can’t move, so after a while the conductor announced over the loudspeaker in Hebew, “Will the blond girl in the black sweatshirt please stop trying to push her way onto the train- it won’t work!” Naturally the whole car starts cracking up, and a few seconds later the train moves.
Three hours later I was waiting for my bus back to sem and a bunch of girls from a different sem right near mine were shmoozing and one of them, a very nice-looking girl with a blond ponytail and black sweatshirt, starts telling her friends about how it was so funny on the train, the conductor had made an announcement over the loudspeaker at her!
And, last but not least:
When my dad was a kid, he lived in Brooklyn in a house that only had a front porch, so they’d always build their sukkah on that porch. It was canvas, and it always was a challenge to tie it down so that it wouldn’t blow too much in the wind. One year, he was sick on chol hamoed so he had to stay home from his family’s trip. He was sitting in the kitchen in his pajamas when suddenly he heard a big crash and looked out the window to see what it was- and saw a familiar-looking sukkah flying down the sidewalk. He ran out of the house to try to catch the sukkah, which had made its way down the street to the main intersection, and just managed to catch it before it flew into the main street. His neighbors never let him live down the memory of running down the street in his pajamas after the sukkah and shlepping it back home.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.