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The minhug not to “mish” on Pesach stems from where and for what purpose? And what constitutes mishing?
Due to the various minhugim between families, as related to how to conduct Pesach, what to eat, et cetera, [which are of much greater variance than the rest of the year,] it is a common mingug (itself) not to mix (or mish) so as not have to break one’s own Pesach minhugim.
Some people think that buying products isn’t mishing. IT IS
mishing means eating anything that was made out of your home. HIE- They just say that so that they can buy store-bought products….
Doesn’t apply to me, because I do eat in other people’s homes (and invite them to mine). But then again, what do I know, right? I’m such an ingnoramous and rasha that I’m probably eating chometz with every bite on Pesach.
The Wolf
Sounds like a minhag that can spare some hurt feelings. Prevents the situation of Reuven Lo-Gebrokts turning down an invite from Shimon Gebrokts, but accepting an invite from Levi Kol-haChumros, hurting Reuven’s feelings in the process.
We personally do invite and get invited for Pesach meals. If we feel that questions need to be asked, we ask them openly.
we have a minhag to just follow halachos. This might stem from the halacha of v’samachta b’chagecha
You can buy products made by companies and that isn’t mishing. Not eating manufactured stuff is a different chumra. Not Mishing started because of so many different minhagim and it’s like next to impossible to find someone who does the same as you. Instead of grilling other people about their minhagim, if they invite you to a meal, people just said I don’t Mish and solved a lot of problems. (My version of Mishing.)
Why is it perfectly acceptable to say, “My husband and I don’t mish,” but if you can’t say those three words “my husband and,” it suddenly becomes unacceptable to say, “I don’t mish”?
I used to “mish nisht”, but I do now.
Haifa: Where else would you make the Seder? By yourself?
And did someone tell you that you must mish? Otherwise, who said it is unacceptable?
Haifa: Where else would you make the Seder? By yourself?
Yes, I do make a seder by myself. What’s wrong with that? If I had more time and energy, I would invite people, but I don’t.
And did someone tell you that you must mish? Otherwise, who said it is unacceptable?
Just look at your reply. You ask as if you can’t even imagine such a concept as making a seder at home, by myself. Why?
And while nobody tells me I must mish, but they give me a hard time about staying home all the time.
In fact, one person gave me a lecture about having to share the korban pesach during Beis Hamikdosh times. Now how is that relevant?
I cannot imagine making a seder by myself and hope you are joking…. No you must not mish but I understand where they are coming from when they tell you that you should come join them and eat some meals out…
“we have a minhag to just follow halachos.”
So do we.
People hold of chumros on Pesach that they don’t have all year.
People today are machmir for no reason. They try to be frummer than the next guy.
The first Belzer Rebbe did not brok. His mother did. They ate soup from the same plate, with his mother eating the kneidlach and he leaving them for her. Who would do such a thing now? I guess the Belzer Rebbe was not frum…
Not mishing on Pesach is an old minhag that many people have.
This might be the saddest Minhag I have ever heard of. Goodbye “Kol Diphcin Yeisi V’yeichol”.
sam2: Not mishing is a chumra people keep for themselves. It does not mean that they dont invite other guest. I know plenty of people who would not eat at others on Pesach but have plenty of needy people at their own table.
I have a great uncle, a emes tzadik, who only eats food his rebetzin prepares ALL year round.
Everyone mishes to some degree today.
cherrybim-
what makes you say so? I dont.
yitzchokm, if you use any product that isn’t produced, in your own kitchen from scratch; that is mishing.
This thread honestly makes me sad beyond belief. I feel like it just ruined my Pesach.
Forget kitchen – food preparation begins way before that.
One of the reasons for not mishing on Pesach is that there soo many different legitimate minhagim and chumros on Pesach that people don’t have all year, that it is very likely your friend or neighbor has certain Pesach customs that are not in accordance with your own.
cherrybim-
I use exactly 8 “produced” items. Oh well
Well every year in my home the afikomin goes mishing, then we find it.lol.
Well every year in my home the afikomin goes mishing
lol. Yesh in our houshe alsho we get a little drunk at sheder night. Or were you refering to those who take their teeth out for matzo… ☺
its because of kashrus!!!- that is the original reason to no mishing- no one knew what other ppl did in their kitchens and to avoid embarresment- they all just said they don’t “mish” especially because alot of ppl have extra chumros on pesach- its a minhag that is still followed a lot- and if its ur minhag not to mish and you do- u have to be mater neder before hand- because u r taking a way a chumra- unless your husbands fam does mish- cuz then u are simply accepting his minhagim
Definitely do not mish on Pesach.
Definitely do not mish on Pesach.
We eat out at other people’s homes and they come to us as well.
One of the reasons for not mishing on Pesach is that there soo many different legitimate minhagim and chumros on Pesach that people don’t have all year, that it is very likely your friend or neighbor has certain Pesach customs that are not in accordance with your own.
If so, then they’re welcome to tell me so when I invite them. I won’t be offended if they tell me “I’m sorry, our minhag is not to eat by other’s on Pesach. Can we take a raincheck?”
The Wolf
Chazal were misaken that during yom tov an am haaretz has the status of a talmid chacham regarding being trustworthy about certain areas of tumah and tahara (kol yisroel chaveirim baregel) in order to allow people to eat with each other and create achdus in Yerushalayim. (Ir shevubrah loh yachdav)
I don’t want to bash minhagim but this should be mentioned.
This thread depresses me every year. I still can’t believe this is a thing.
We eat out at other people’s homes and they come to us as well.
Your minhag is to mish; so you can mish. I was speaking to those with the minhag not to mish; they, in accordance with their minhag they must uphold, may not mish.
Sam2 – You honestly don’t understand the concept of not Mishing? (Not mishing and not inviting guests are, of course, two separate totally things. We don’t mish [except for very close family], but we have guests almost every meal on Yom Tov)
LanderTalmid, not mishing saves from embarrassing someone, so it has some of the same effect.
yekke2: No, I don’t. And I’m not gonna give the full rant because it won’t help anything.
Joseph, if you can’t trust your own Rav’s kashrus on Pesach or your relative’s kashrus on Pesach (that is what real not mishing means), then what is the reason for allowing it when it’s not Pesach (such as, shalach manos on Purim or eating at simcha events)?
cherrybim: Indeed I know people who will never eat food not prepared in their house – year-round. (Not even in relatives homes.) On Pesach things are much more complex and their are many more minhagim and stringencies in food preparation and acceptability that some people have and others don’t, so it makes even more sense to take this precaution.
Joseph are those people open orthodox? To be so meikel regarding giving people neemanus and chezkas kashrus. I love kulos as much as the next guy. But being meikel to the point of not eating by anyone ever? That is far too lenient
I lost you there, ubiquitin.
He lost himself.
Cherrybim,
It does not mean that they don’t trust their Rav. It means their minhag is not to eat out the house on Pesach.
I heard the following directly from the person in the story.
He was a talmid of Rav Pam. He and other talmidim went to Rav Pam on pesach. He was offered something to eat, which he declined because his minhag was to not mish. He started getting ribbed for not eating in Rav Pam’s house. Rav Pam told the person to not chepper this bochur, his minhag is legitimate. He also offered a reason, that not eating chametz on pesach requires Mazel, your own Mazel you have no choice but to rely on, but why do you have to rely on other’s Mazel.
Sam2: yekke2: No, I don’t. And I’m not gonna give the full rant because it won’t help anything.
Please give the full rant. Personal favour?
The way I understand it, the Minhag comes about as a result of various stringencies accepted in different households over Pesach. I don’t use some ingredients that you do, you don’t use some ingredients that I do. (Some differences are famous – eg. Gebrokts, Kitniyos, Garlic, Chickens; others are more personal. Some people won’t use chocolate in their products on Pesach. Some people won’t use anything they cannot produce themselves. In my mothers family, they wash every peice of meat/fish before beginning any work; thus eliminating any processed meats or minced products. Most people I know don’t do that.) Some people rely on Hechsherim that others don’t (not necessarily because they are more or less Frum, but because the Rabbi I follow advised me against it and his Rabbi didn’t).
As a result of that, I might not want to eat in your house on Pesach, due to suspicions that your cooking doesn’t fit exactly with my Kashrus requirements. (Not standards, requirements.) That could be solved by discussing everything properly, but (i) people get offended that you question them, (ii) if you go to some but not to others, you will end up offending those who you turn down. Therefore, people make a blanket rule not to eat in other people’s houses over Pesach.
Is this so terrible?
DY
It was a poorly worded way of pointing out that every chumra comes with a kula.
(A rebbi of mine often told the joke of the newly married brisker who told his wife the day before a taanis not to forget to prepare him breakfast, On the morning of the fast he finds two settings set for breakfast he tells her “No No you need to fast, didn’t I tell you when we got married that my brisker chumros are only for me)
Normative halacha allows for eid echad neeman bissurim and assuming chezkas kashrus in frum people.
The people Joseph knows are perhaps being machmir in kashrus but in so doing are being veeeery meikel regarding the din of eid echad neeman, and giving people chezkas kashrus.
There’s no kula involved, unless one abstains from doing a mitzvah (e.g. doesn’t eat matzah) or insults someone (which shouldn’t be an issue if it’s a general policy).
I know people – talmidei chachomim – with such a policy as well.
“being veeeery meikel regarding the din of eid echad neeman, and giving people chezkas kashrus.”
What??
ubiquitin,
The people Joseph knows are perhaps being machmir in kashrus but in so doing are being veeeery meikel regarding the din of eid echad neeman, and giving people chezkas kashrus.
I think that would be highly dependent on the reason a person has for not “mishing.”
For example: Reuven can think Shimon keeps a scrupulously kosher home, but doesn’t think that Shimon keeps his X or Y chumra. X and Y are important to Reuven, so he eats his own food. I don’t think that is failing to give Shimon a chezkas kashrus.
Just for the record, I “mish.”
It’s eating by a nephew considered to be mishing?
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