Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Men and Manners
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March 16, 2011 3:37 am at 3:37 am #595736Papa BearMember
hi I am new to the coffee room I have been following for a while now.
I was in the toy store buying purim items . i was talking to my sister and all of a sudden a man pushed me. i was really annoyed that he didnt say exuse me. cuz chas vashalom can he talk to a lady. the worker pushed to ladies aside so he can go thru. WHERE ARE THOSE MANNERS!!!!!!!!!
How about on the bus when there is a mechitza . the men push to get thru. I was even knocked in my mouth .which really hurts.
March 16, 2011 3:42 am at 3:42 am #750171cshapiroMemberi think u should lock ur self in ur room and never leave ur house….or get used to men being men…lol :))
March 16, 2011 3:48 am at 3:48 am #750172deiyezoogerMemberPapa Bear; welcome aboard,
BTW if you are on the other side of the mechitzah why dont you call youself “Mama Bear”?
March 16, 2011 3:56 am at 3:56 am #750173observanteenMemberWelcome to the CR! Men are men, but they are to be taught manners too! BTW, PUSHING is much worse than talking – it’s ASSUR to touch a strange woman.
March 16, 2011 4:04 am at 4:04 am #750174MDGParticipantAsk them why them touched you or just say “get off of me”.
March 16, 2011 4:15 am at 4:15 am #750175Papa BearMemberThere passing by a small space and they notice that I’m there
I signed up awhile ago and I thought the whole time I was mama bear until to night when I got around to posting on yw
March 16, 2011 4:26 am at 4:26 am #750176i am hereMemberobservanteen- if its not done on purpose nothing is wrong.
Its like all these stories you hear about a women fell and a man called some women over to pick her up because he couldn’t “touch” her. and when there passing bye and a women is in there way they dont just have to squeeze and knock in to her. They can say ex-use me and the women will move over.
This is just from my experiences
March 16, 2011 4:35 am at 4:35 am #750177observanteenMemberi am here: It’s not the same. When a woman’s sick or needs medical help a man’s allowed to touch her. But stam to go around pushing women is ill mannered and assur.
March 16, 2011 4:44 am at 4:44 am #750178Papa BearMemberWhy is that a women would run over and help a man who falls .
March 16, 2011 4:47 am at 4:47 am #750179Papa BearMemberBoys should be learning from school and parents what is the right manners and what are the wrong manners.
March 16, 2011 5:07 am at 5:07 am #750180truth be toldMemberPapa Bear:
I’m a man, and have many had many women do it. It’s what some people do whilst rushing. Its not limited to gender. Same on the M buses.
Pushing back does not help. In fact, after a while, you’d end up a pusher! The one thing I’ve found that works most often, is to always try to move aside for them, maybe move aside in an exaggerated way. It then makes them feel. They’re all of a sudden, dealing with a human who respects them, so they may respond in kind.
March 16, 2011 9:43 am at 9:43 am #750181eclipseMemberSpeaking of men and manners….
A word to the wise:
1.Beards must be shampooed.
2.Deoderant on top of shvitz is ineffective.
3.Learning gemara while your kid is dangling from a chandelier is odd.
4.Don’t tell your wife you’ll watch the kids so she can sleep and then promptly fall asleep 2 minutes later.
More manners available upon request.
March 16, 2011 10:05 am at 10:05 am #750182eclipseMemberOh…I forgot:
Hiding the stamps,writing paper,and toilet paper because you think it’s being “wasted” is disturbed behavior.
And never make your wife return items to the grocery store because you don’t think the purchase was necessary…
March 16, 2011 10:07 am at 10:07 am #750183eclipseMemberOh!And since you asked,coming home at 4:00 a.m. is not good manners.
March 16, 2011 1:45 pm at 1:45 pm #750184mytakeMemberPapa Bear
Welcome!
Only thing you can really do is make sure that your own kids know better than that. Don’t waster brain power trying to make sense outa this.
March 16, 2011 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm #750185guy-ochoMembereclipse: seems like you had a bad experience with men.
I’m a guy (can tell from the name) and one time a lady tripped as she was walking, I rushed over to help her up, and she instead asked me to call over a lady from the nearby house. (I was 14 at the time, so it wouldn’t have been such a big deal anyway).
Besides for that time, the only other time I was there when a lady tripped and needed help, I went over and helped her up.
The gemara says not to be a “chossid shoteh”
btw: I have been on many frum buses before with a mechitzah. The pushing comes from both sides (men and women), as its hard to tell if there is someone on the other side.
March 16, 2011 3:16 pm at 3:16 pm #750186truth be toldMembereclips: Hi. I’m sorry you’re felling that you went through some very difficult experiences. I do not know who you are.
One thing though. It seem that there are several people here who do know who you are . If so, do you think some comments can be held back? Thank you
March 16, 2011 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #750187Papa BearMemberGuy-0cho: so the mechitza is prob worse to have on a bus bec the men and women most of the time are touching each other and the pushing can get bad.
March 16, 2011 3:22 pm at 3:22 pm #750188mytakeMemberguy-ocho
You remind me of a story that somebody told me. (Beware: This will gross you out)
He was walking in BP and a woman a couple of yards ahead of him tripped over something and fell flat on the sidewalk. As she fell, she knocked over the guy who was standing (or walking) in front of her. He got up, brushed off his pants…and walked away.
The guy who told me the story obviously ran to help her up, and made sure she was fine, and then he ran to catch up with the “chossid shoteh” and demanded an explanation. He looked at the guy and said “ah frau??!!” (a woman???)
I don’t think the other guy even bothered responding to that. I wouldnt, anyways. No use.
Just reminded myself of this story when you posted urs.
March 16, 2011 3:34 pm at 3:34 pm #750189guy-ochoMembermytake:”(Beware: This will gross you out)”
You forgot that I’m a guy. lol.
March 16, 2011 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #750190eclipseMemberOk,Mods if you agree with tbt,you can delete my posts.
Sorry!
March 16, 2011 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #750191Mayan_DvashParticipantI see the velt’s naarishkeit of “male bashing” has found its way to YWN CR, because that’s what is going on in this thread. I read stories of isolated cases of people acting in an “uneducated” manner. What about the Hatzalah members, Shomrim members, Chaveirim members who certainly outnumber — by a huge factor, the “uneducated” who act professional no matter who they are treating?
;
March 16, 2011 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #750192s2021MemberYaya Mayan, Men Rock..
Hey Eclipse,
How about getting “upset” when we run out of toilet paper, and theres nothing left in the house but caseloads of tissues which are bad for the pipes!
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