Meaningful Secular Weddings in Israel

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  • October 5, 2009 9:01 pm at 9:01 pm #590532
    ronrsr
    Member

    just got back from Eretz Yisrael, where I went for the wedding of my niece.

    I have been to several weddings of secular couples in Israel, and was mostly unimpressed by the ceremony – they did all the right things, but without any enthusiasm on the part of the officiating rabbi or the family.

    This time, I was very impressed. The officiant was a rabbi who was a member of Tzohar, a volunteer group of orthodox rabbis who are dedicated to bridging the widening gulf between the religious and secular communities in Israel, and restoring Jewish identity to all in Israel.

    The ceremony was wonderful, filled with laughter, joy, respect, a healthy dose of entertainment, and inclusion. The rabbi involved everyone in ceremony and made it meaningful, even for the non-religious participants.

    According to my family there, in the old days, before Tzohar, there was usually much contention between the rabbi and the family. Many government rabbis required extra payments, under the table, for officiating at weddings, and this only served to exacerbate anti-religious feelings.

    October 6, 2009 4:03 am at 4:03 am #661569
    Jax
    Member

    ronrsr: mazel tov on your neices wedding! i’ve never been to a secular wedding in Israel to discuss it though!

    October 6, 2009 4:13 am at 4:13 am #661570
    haifagirl
    Participant

    That sounds wonderful. I’d like to find out more about Tzohar. It sounds like a wonderful organization.

    October 6, 2009 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #661571
    ronrsr
    Member

    Thank you, Jax.

    There is more info on the web at http://www.tzhohar.org.il

    Did I mention that until recently, the services of Tzohar rabbis was free of charge? I think they just recently started accepting fees, due to a dose of financial reality.

    If the rabbi ever considers retiring from officiating at weddings, he could have a second career as a badchan.

    October 6, 2009 7:24 pm at 7:24 pm #661572
    haifagirl
    Participant

    Thanks ronrsr. They sound like a great organization. I just sent them a donation.

    October 7, 2009 10:18 am at 10:18 am #661573
    ZachKessin
    Member

    They are really great. They also set up for Yom Kippor at community centers and schools around Israel. Providing a chance for those who might not ordinarily go to Shul to be able to do so in a welcoming place.

    October 7, 2009 2:15 pm at 2:15 pm #661574
    goody613
    Member

    i saw an invitation 4 one of my relatives who is a secular isreali, and it did not sound jewish, it said things,like jumping in the pool and no hint of judaism, now they live in germany after his father went through the war

    October 7, 2009 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #661575
    HIE
    Participant

    goody, unfortunatly.

    October 8, 2009 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #661576
    ronrsr
    Member

    that’s too bad. In all fairness to the Tzohar rabbis, the invitations usually go out BEFORE the first meeting with the rabbi, and it’s possible they didn’t yet know better.

    Many Israelis are polarized by the battle between the religious and the secular in Israel, and have come to consider religion required by law as intrusions into their lives.

    This seems to be exactly the rift that Tzohar wants to mend.

    October 8, 2009 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm #661577
    ronrsr
    Member

    I am reminded of a story of the Baal Shem Tov who greets three men returning from a wedding. “How was the wedding,” he asks.

    The first man says that the food was delightful and tasty.

    “You were not at a wedding,” he is told.

    The second man describes the wild and ecstatic dancing.

    “You were not at a wedding,” he is told.

    The third man returns and says, “Thank goodness those two people found each other and got together.”

    “Now, YOU were at a wedding,” he is told.

    Let’s not forget the really important message of the wedding invitation. Two people, against all odds, have found each other, and now wish to spend the rest of their lives together, as husband and wife.

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