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October 26, 2017 7:48 pm at 7:48 pm #1390714chabadgalParticipant
OK everyone knows this, but need something to start the thread off with…
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9October 26, 2017 9:53 pm at 9:53 pm #1390743☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantYou think you want math jokes? Google how to catch a lion in the desert.
October 27, 2017 12:27 pm at 12:27 pm #1390924DovidBTParticipantQuestion: What’s the difference between a philosopher and a mathematician?
Answer: A philosopher need two things: A pencil and paper. A mathematician needs three things: A pencil, paper and a waste basket.
(Actually, that’s not a joke.)
October 27, 2017 12:28 pm at 12:28 pm #1390931besalelParticipantA functioning meth addict is just a guy that never stole copper pipe from an abandoned house.
Oh, wait, did you say math or meth?
October 27, 2017 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #1391036yehudayonaParticipantA math teacher was apprehended with a compass and protector. He was accused of having weapons of math instruction.
October 29, 2017 11:07 pm at 11:07 pm #1391543☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantHere’s a longer version of the above joke:
A public school teacher was arrested today at Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra Movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” Gonzalez said. “They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like ‘x’ and ‘y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.October 30, 2017 2:22 pm at 2:22 pm #1391849Avi KParticipantA HS dropout, an accountant and an actuary applied for a job. Each was asked how much is 1+1.
The dropout said “Duh. I think 3”.
The accountant took out his calculator, tapped “1+1=” and announced “2”.
The actuary closed the door and whispered “How much do you want it to be?”October 30, 2017 2:32 pm at 2:32 pm #1391854BoysWorkParticipantsorry but these jokes just don’t add up…..
October 30, 2017 3:19 pm at 3:19 pm #1391866MDGParticipant“sorry but these jokes just don’t add up….”
Yes, but they on multiplying.
October 30, 2017 3:32 pm at 3:32 pm #1391884BoysWorkParticipantQ: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin piOctober 31, 2017 9:57 am at 9:57 am #1392229blubluhParticipantI hope my HTML notation works for this…
Problem: Expand the expression (x + 2)²
Solution:
(x+2)²
( x + 2 ) ²
( x + 2 ) ²
( x + 2 ) ²
( x + 2 ) ²Edited to hopefully make it look like what you wanted – 33
Edited again. I think it’s supposed to look like this. -25
Thanks! Now I get the joke. -33
October 31, 2017 12:58 pm at 12:58 pm #1392402blubluhParticipantThank you Editors 33 & 25. Yes, I was trying to “superscript” the power value.
Actually, the spacing before the ^2 was also supposed to increase, but this suffices.October 31, 2017 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #1392428Miriam377Participantand keep going down in value.
October 31, 2017 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #1392443MDGParticipantYou don’t have to so negative.
I Gauss you don’t like this line of humor.
If you want, Euclid come up with your ownOctober 31, 2017 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #1392451MDGParticipantI’m sorry if I place blame.
i can be the root of negativity.October 31, 2017 6:36 pm at 6:36 pm #1392586Miriam377ParticipantI’m trying to be positive here but my dear aunt sally just can’t do any simple algebra problems today.
October 31, 2017 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #1392616JosephParticipantThree statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out “We got him!”
October 31, 2017 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #1392617JosephParticipantA physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are sitting on a bench across from a house. They watch as two people go into the house, and then a little later, three people walk out.
The physicist says, “The initial measurement was incorrect.”
The biologist says, “They must have reproduced.”
And the mathematician says, “If exactly one person enters that house, it will be empty.”
October 31, 2017 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #1392642ubiquitinParticipantthank you joseph. that was great! (people in the house joke)
best thing youve ever postedAOn the way to the store, logician’s wife tells him “,by a gallon of milk if they have eggs get a dozen”
He returns with a dozen Gallons of milk
His wife asks: “Whats with all the milk”
he replies: “they had eggs”(Usually told with a computer programmer, this way it fits in the math jokes thread)
October 31, 2017 9:11 pm at 9:11 pm #1392645ubiquitinParticipantA Sheepdog tells his herder “Here are your 40 sheep”
The herder asks “but I only own 37?”
The sheepdog replies “I rounded them up” -
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